My wife and I are from different parts of the US. I feel people like the idea that you took time to at least think of them. She feels it's rude and sounds like you're fishing for gifts. I asked some relatives / friends and they said they would be upset if not at least invited. Her mom reports "thats just rude!" Help!!!!!
2007-02-23 14:39:19 · 20 answers · asked by topjeep02 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I don't think it's rude. But only send them to people who are close... such as family and very close friends. For everyone else, just send new baby announcements when your bundle of joy arrives. Best of luck!
2007-02-23 14:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A announcement after the birth is the polite thing to do, whether or not the person was invited to a shower. . If you want to send a personal note, and say how much you would have liked that person to be there, but you understand that time and distance prevented that, go ahead. It does sound a little like fishing for presents, I'd save that for the really close friends and family, who would understand that it is heartfelt. A please do not send a present request on the note would be nice, I'd send a present even if that was there, because it was included. If people expect an invite to the shower, then send them one, if it will prevent hard feelings later. Most people though, do not expect to be invited if they know they can't come, they wait for the birth announcement!.
Hope this helps, and congratulations to the expectent parents.
2007-02-23 16:17:32 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do this all the time when fishing for wedding presents. It's extremely rude. Listen to your wife and mother-in-law, I implore you...
No reasonable person is going to be 'hurt' that they weren't invited to something they obviously couldn't/wouldn't attend. On the off chance you are related to somebody that silly, just point out that you didn't want it to look like you were fishing for gifts. Did the people you asked perhaps mis-understand something? Or do they have little experience with showers; were they thinking 'party' rather than 'gift grab'?
And, that's what birth announcements were made for.
Much more importantly than any of the above: whose opinion means more to you? Speaking as a currently pregnant person: listen to your wife!
2007-02-23 21:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just RUDE. It's fishing for gifts. Relatives KNOW a baby is due, or send an announcement telling them; or an announcement when the baby is born; and even an announcement of the Baptism, if you have infant baptism in your faith.
If they want to send a gift they will, to send an invitation to a shower is definitely fishing. Would you send them an invitation to a family bithday dinner you knew they couldn't attend, no; this is the same
2007-02-23 18:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's rude at all. I have friends and family spread out all over the country and I love it when my people share their events with me.
I understand wife's concern though. How bout sending the invites without any gift registry info? If thaat isn't possible, know that the people who take the trouble to get a gift and mail it want to do it. And you never know....u may get a few unexpected guests!!
And congrats on the baby. [no gift attached]
2007-02-23 16:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your position, I would send out invitations to the people who you know can't come anyway. Sending out an invitation doesn't take much effort, however it does show that you were thinking of that person and wanted to include them in your special day. If you know for sure that someone you're inviting won't be able to come, perhaps write on the bottom of the card "No gifts please, we just want to celebrate the upcoming birth of our (first, second, third) child with friends and family".
2007-02-23 15:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer_lwt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe sent more of a baby announcement, or just a brief personal letter, mentioning you're hosting a baby shower, you know that they live far away but 'if you happen to be in the area of course you're welcome'. Or some similar words. That way you'll show you're thinking of them, that they're welcome if they would be able to come, but it also shows you don't *expect* them to travel such a long distance.
With all the traveling people do nowadays I don't think you should ever assume someone who lives far away can't make it, unless you know for a fact they don't travel; someone may just have a meeting, conference, holiday or whatever nearby and they'd hate to find out later they were so near and missed the party!
2007-02-23 17:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say extend the invitation anyway because it shows you're at least thinking about them. Also you never know, circumstances may change and they may be able to make it after all and you don't want to be standing there with egg on your face trying to explain why you didn't invite them the next time you see them.
2007-02-23 19:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that is rude at all.(Congratulations on the baby by the way!) My family has many relatives from all over the world, i.e. England. When they have baby showers, they send us invitations anyway, and it's nice to know that we're welcome to go even if we would not be able to.
2007-02-23 16:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send an invite that reads that you are inviting their good thoughts and wishes and that even though you know they can't attend that you are inviting them to rejoice over the miles in your good fortune - *no gifts required just to let you know we are thinking of you while you are thinking of us during this joyous event. I would word it something like that, because if it were my family I would be insulted at not receiving some acknowledgment.
2007-02-23 15:00:19 · answer #10 · answered by meretta1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋