i have a 3 and 1 year old and since i have had my baby now 3 months, my oldest son has been throwing tempertantrums. talking back, throwing things, what is the best way to make him stop? i have tried patience and giving him extra attetion. then time out, now spanking. nothing is working, what can i do?
2007-02-23 14:37:24 · 9 answers · asked by kchase 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Usually you need to find a combination of things that will work, not just one. And you really need to stick with it for a good month or more. 3 years old isn't far from terrible twos, lots of kids still have them at that age. My son had a whinning stage at that age.
I wouldn't give up giving him extra attention (when he's behaving well) and REALLY focus on when he's behavign well.
Try not to say things like "you are so naughty"
make sure you are always praising him when he is actually good, even if its just tiny stupid things once a day.
"you brushed your teeth fast, thank you SOOOOO much, that was so wonderful and made me sooo happy!!!"
Also let him make some choices during the day (do you want to brush your teeth first or put on your pajamas first?? Which shirt would you like to wear??) But try to totally avoid yes or no questions unless you are WILLING to accept no for an answer (don't ask "do you want to go to bed now" when its bedtime unless you are willing to let him stay up. Just say "its bed time" no questions asked)
Put him in time out when he is naughty, tell him what he did wrong AND what he should have done instead. (We don't throw things, if you were angry you should have asked me for help) Make sure his time out is a place free from toys, tv, and other things to play with/distract him. Ignore him when he is in time out. Let him come out when he has calmed down. If he tries to leave put him back in timeout and stand there and make sure he doesn't leave until he has calmed down. Ignore him while you are watching him, look up towards the cealing (sont make eye contact) and watch him out of the corner of your eye, hold very still and ignore him. If he tries to leave scoop him back up and put him back in time out until he has stopepd his tantrum.
2007-02-23 15:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by slawsayssss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
none of us are perfect mothers, we all do the best we can. It must be VERY difficult trying to raise three children. Just take a deep breath and redirect the child that is acting up, Use a firm voice, don't yell, children tend to just tune out a parent who yells alot. If redirecting ( changing the subject or getting them interested in something else) does not work, let the child know that the behavior is not acceptable and you will not give in or give attention to bad behavior. When he is being good, praise him for his help, behavior. Maybe even a reward for a whole day being a good helper and big brother to his siblings. Remember that toddlers brains and behaviors are forming and developing at this age and they will purposely test you to see what they can get away with and how far they can push you. Just remain firm but loving and i think you will all get through this. good luck and god bless.
2007-02-23 15:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Scarlett 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you! As you know, it's such an adjustment to have another baby. At 3 yo it's hard for kids to understand. It will take more patience and extra attention from you. Do you have someone to help with the children? You need some help to give each child a little individual attention. I've found that special "big kids" day where you do a special activity with the oldest b/c they are a "big kid" - your younger siblings can't do this - only you - sometimes helps. Good luck to you!
2007-02-23 14:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by sweet pea 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, the terrible 2's continue on until they are well over the ripe age of 18! :)
Try involving your son in the care of the baby. Have him "help" change a diaper, throw away a soiled diaper, "help" with the bathing, dressing and also one on one time with him. It will be OK, eventually.
Do NOT address him when he is throwing a temper tantrum, by addressing him during one, he will think he can get your attention doing something negative.
Good luck Hon!
2007-02-23 14:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-18 09:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of this is normal 3 year old behavior, and some of it is a reaction to his world being turned upside down (in his view).
The trick is to outlast him.
When he misbehaves, calmly tell him he will be staying in his room until he can behave himself again. There is no exact time limit for this, only when he can maintain his good behavior again. When he calms down and can apologize, he can come out. Keep sending him to his room each and every time.
Be patient and do it EVERY time.
I know this is not an easy time, but if you are consistent, this will get better.
Hang in there, Mom!!
2007-02-23 14:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wonts your antention on him and not the baby. Try involing him, when you change your baby let him hand you things like the wipes or the nappie. If your breast feeding the two of you could try reading a book while doing so, or if you are bottle feeding let him hold the bottle for a little bit (with you there) Just try to invole him so he see's the baby is not taking all your time
2007-02-23 19:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by tazziemonster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him in a calm voice that he will be ignored until the tantrum stops. Then grit your teeth and wait for him to get tired and stop. After it stops, reward and lavish praise on him for stopping, then find out what was wrong. He will discover that he likes being rewarded for good behavior better than negative attention for bad behavior.
2007-02-23 14:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have been in this situation . and more than likely he is acting out because he doesnt feel he is special anymore because he sees you giving so much attention to the baby , i know you said you spend time with him but is this attention spent only with him to make him feel special? all 3 of them need attention and i totally understand your dilema . its very hard to space your time with them , but he is doing it bacause he doesnt feel like he is getting enough time with you .try spending some time alone with him and do something he likes to do . let him suggest it .and also ask him if he feels like mommy doesnt do enough with him, kids are way smarter than we give them credit for. good luck
2007-02-23 14:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by chelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋