Alright I want some strong christians to answer this. Why do I feel so bad??? details inside.?

Question

Alright so I recently decided that I was going to stay Pure and Holy and save myself for my future husband (I am 14 at the moment). I have gotten physical with guys in the past and Tuesday this guy started "hitting on me" or so to say. The next day I asked his brother if he knew why his brother was doing that. Then yesterday he flat out told me that he isn't interested in dating me at all, he has a girlfriend, and that he just wants to "do" me. Well I told him no on that one but then he asked about something less. I said maybe and I don't know why I said maybe. Well last night we had a Pep Band game( when the school band plays at a sport event) and I had told him that I would tell him for sure at pep band. Well between playing times we were the first ones back in the band room and he was starting to touch me and I gently removed his hand and told him no. He did that 2 or 3 times. But then we heard somebody walking up the stairs and he stoped. Well after band was over..to be continued

alright. After band was over I went to talk to him before he left. He tried feeling me again and I again told him no, I then told him I was interested in a physical relationship right now. But why do I feel so bad when that is what I knew I should say??

No. Even hugging and kissing are too much temptation. As soon as you set a line and say you won't cross it you will slowly move the line farther and farther until there is no line anymore. Trust me it happened to me before.

Umm... Yeah did I mention I really can't run away from this guy. We play the same thing in band and we are the only two who play it in concerts. So yeah I do know he has a girlfriend truely, she said so herself and yeah she is one of my friends and that is one of the reasons why I told him no. I probly didn't help myself by saying maybe, but my heart was saying no dont do this and then my mind was talking me into saying yes and just saying it wouldnt be that bad i have went that far with a guy before ( im not talking about sex.) and then my mind was saying yes go for it he likes you and he is a good looking guy but yeah. and on the part of him touching me it probly didnt help that the first time he wasn't touching me but kinda poking me with his mallets in band and I didnt say no then so yeah that probly added to my problem but yeah you guys still havn't answered the main question which was. Why do I feel so bad for telling him no?

He is only 15, and it wouldnt then constiture satutory rape. we are both under 18 and we are only a year apart. and he wouldnt go that far in a public place this happened in the band room at school before anyone got there after the pep band.

Answer 1

I always tell kids your age that it's too early to get into a serious relationship at this time. It would help if you give yourself some priorities. What would you like to accomplish? Finish school? Go to college? Get some skills which will give you a good job? It would help if you associate with friends who can help you accomplish your priorities. The time for selecting a man you would want to share your life with will come naturally.
Peace and every blessing!

Answer 2

Remove yourself from any and all temptation even to the point of being rude. An alcoholic cannot stop with a bottle in front of them. You already know the motives of men (if you don't let me tell you). Sex is the biggest lie in this world and is to easy to fall into. Wait until the lord gives you someone who loves Jesus enough to follow Him first, then you will experience sexual love as close as it was meant to be on this earth. Perhaps you are feeling bad because you want to please God as well as this boy. I know first hand the consequences of buying the lie (herpes, clap, ruined marriages and relationships and HCV). I congratulate you for your decision to wait and encourage you to follow through with it. an x playboy or whoremongler or slut or whatever term you use. PS sex is highly overrated. I started younger than you and now I have a broken heart and will likely never be able to enjoy a relationship ever again. Go for God, please him and don't worry about what others think. You could wind up like me and many others and regret it for a lifetime. Some good advice here from others who have responded to your question. I salute you for asking it.

Answer 3

Why do you feel bad? Because this guy is treating you like a peice of meat. He has a girlfriend-your friend- and he is violating her and violating you. You feel bad, because he has made you feel bad. You are a good, loving person; that is trying to live according to the ways that God has placed in your heart. What you are feeling is sadness. You have big heart. You may also be feeling some residual affects of actions you have engaged in, in the past, that you are not proud of. The enemy, is trying to use your past against you. Do not believe the lies, you are not bound by those things, you are a new creation. That part of you is gone, covered by your Savior,and you are not in bondage, by it. You have turned from what is wrong, and are now in obeidiance. By God's own words- you are righteous and that's that. Forgive yourself, just as you have been forgiven by your Father. Let God teach you in all the things you encounter. He uses them to build you into the person He created you to be. You said maybe,in a moment when you were caught off guard, and weak. You owe this boy nothing. Not an explanation, not another moments thought.

Answer 4

Don't feel badly, but you do know that you've more-or-less been setting him up by telling him "maybe" and that you would give him an answer at pep band. You already know that he has a girlfriend. Of course, he thought you were giving signals so he was trying to take advantage. If you don't want to be used (and then dumped ... cuz he has a girlfriend) and if you don't want to be the target of gossip, then don't get involved with him under ANY circumstances, and don't do those "maybe" games. But, live and learn -- at 14, you have your entire life ahead of you. Good luck.

Answer 5

you know what girl, it's hard to do the right thing, it will always be hard, especially when you are flattered by someone liking you. If I were you, I wouldn't let this boy get within 1 inch of yourself again. I don't like the idea that he just started touching you--especially when you said no. He has no respect right there for you nor for his girlfriend. The idea that he wants to "do" you shows that he's an idiot. Don't take sex/physical relationships so lightly, not only can you get a disease, but it's not following God's way. and it sounds like you are trying to follow God. remember God will not let you down, save yourself for a great guy when you get married and you'll be able to share something with that one and only person. take it from me, don't let people pressure you especially those who don't follow God, it's really not worth it. Keep away from this creep....Good Luck and I will keep you in my prayers :)

Answer 6

face it, he is doing these for only one thing, and then you will be history, he will then treat you like dirt.

The reason you feel bad about something like that is. not the fact that you did not give in. you should not ever do what you do not want to do. it sounds as if you are a very nice person, and that means you have feelings for others. you just feel bad because you feel as if you hurt him. so it hurts you to do anyone that way.

Do not let that feeling stop you from pushing him away. but also even if you do not think so you are leading him on, by not telling him to get lost. if you do not care for him, He has a girl friend.

put a stop to it now, can't you see that it will never go anywhere. if all else fails, tell him you are going to talk to his girl friend and explain to her what he is doing. he should then back off. if not you will have to be mean. you may think you can not do that. but think' this will continue to go on until he gets what he is after... But if you just be mean once and tell him out loud and scream it if you have too, but tell him to get away and stay away. that should work, oh' and also when he is looking at you in band or anywhere else just turn away from him, do not even talk to him. if you do talk to him. say something he does not want to hear and walk away.
do this only if you really want to get away from him, but you are going to have to be mean. but it will be worth it.

Answer 7

We women are raised to "be nice" and always give people what they want. You have conflicted feelings because (A) you are young and hormonal and your body is telling you to want things that you aren't necessarily ready for yet. (B) You want to make him like you, even if it's just as a friend, and giving him "just a little" will keep him around.

Here's the Real Deal: Guys only want one thing from you right now. He told you what he wanted from you, and if it's not you, it'll be some other girl. He "cheats" on his "girlfriend" (if he even really has one). The guy is a total jerk, and if he ever beocmes your "boyfriend", he'll do this to other girls behind your back. Run run run away from guys like this. And, you might be setting yourself up to be groped or worse yet raped, and "saving yourself" won't be an option anymore. Please be careful.

Answer 8

Listen kid, if you play with fire, you WILL get burned in the end!!!!!! As for the reason you feel so bad is that you are trying to depend on yourself for strength.

Let's look at Galatians, chapter 3 for a moment. The question he asked the Galatians was basically this, are you sustained by the will of the flesh, or by faith in God. If you try living your life by the rules in your own strength, you will fail. Of course it's hard to do what is righteous when you are flirting with sin. You can't do both!!! Yes, the rules in the Bible are supposed to be followed, but you can't depend on your own self-will to stop you when you are allowing yourself to be excited by this boy.
Besides, the Bible also says this "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?"2 Corinthians 6:14. If you really know better, then don't hang out with a boy who either don't know or don't care what's right.
I repeat, if you play with fire, you will get burned..............sooner or later.

Answer 9

Facts:
1. you are young
2. the boy is obviously hormone driven and looking for the easy.
3. You will regret losing your virginity to someone who does not care for you.
4. By you meeting with him "in secret," you encouraged him.
5. By being physical in the past, I bet word got out on you.

This being said, this type of talk can be hard to erase. Here is some advice you can try...
1. DON'T involve yourself in any kind of physical activity. Kissing, holding hands may be okay, but anything else opens the door for boy's hormones to kick in some adrenaline.
2. DON'T involved yourself with any boy that has engaged in petting/sex in the past. That is his number 1 goal...choose you, use you, abuse you.
3. Mix with teenagers who share the same value of purity. It is a value that God highly treasures and should not be "given away" at any expense.
4. Hold yourself accountable to others. This ensures that someone is watching you and desires you to stay on the straight and narrow.
Too many kids give in to peer pressure and feeling of popularity. They won't be there when you need them the most. If you save it all for that man, make sure it is lifetime. Your treasure should be shared with one, instead of being taken by several.

Answer 10

You feel bad because you think you disappointed someone.
But good for you for sticking to your guns. That's the kind of guy that doesn't even respect you. He does not want you, he only wants what you can do for him.
Move on and put some distance between yourself and him, AND guys like him.
Not to mention, the guy must be nuts. At your age of 14, he's looking at statutory rape.
Keep control of your life. You don't have to feel bad about disappointing pigs like that guy.