Does this love note sound cheezy? Please read!?

Question

Does this love note sound cheezy? Please read!?
Dear ,
I wanted to tell you that I really need to talk to you. Alone! (underlined) Please meet me at the end of the day.. or 4th period lunch, closest to the stairs on the left side 1st table. Ok.. Please reply back!!


Is there anything else I should add? Erase? Please tell me your thoughts and opinions.

=^-^=

I want it to sound regular just in case a teacher finds me passing it.

Answer 1

Uhm...it doesn't sound like a love note. It sounds like a regular note or something.

Answer 2

Well I would change it to this
Dear ,
I really need to talk to you in private.Please meet me at the end of
the day or 4th period lunch,closest to the left side 1st table.Please reply back!

Hey you didn't need to add or erase much good Job!

Answer 3

Well, it kind of depends on if this is someone you are crushing on, or a boyfriend/girlfriend. It sounds really urgent - I'd make it a bit more casual, like if they don't show up it won't wreck your whole day.
Also, it may be a bit difficult for them to actually reply back. Plus, it leaves a lot of room for problems, like what if he can't get the note back to you in time to tell you he can't meet you at either time.
I'd say:
Hey______,
Listen, after school I'll be hanging out after school___(insert location)____ it'd be cool to hang out after school.
C-ya!_____

Answer 4

No offense, but you sound like you're asking for IT....make it seem more sublte and less intense.
As an example,
Dear , after school today, maybe we could talk about something that's been on my mind. I have a question for you.

This sounds more friendly and now he knows you have a question....and everybody is drawn to questions b/c they're curious, like Curious Geroge (XD)
I hope everything works out.

Answer 5

That doesn't sound cheesy — that just sounds freaked out. You should make it a little sexier. Scrap the exclamation points, make the time of day exact, don't say "Please reply back," begin it with "I've been thinking about you all [week, month, day, whatever], and now I need to see you," and add "I promise that you won't be disappointed" at the end.

Answer 6

erase ALLLLLLL of it! and its not a love note by the way...but if you want to write a note...give the person a reason to want to meet you first of all..but second of all..maybe you should just go up to him...if you want privacy ask him (to his face) to come with you really quick because you need to talk to him...then proceed in saying whatever it is you need to...because that note sounded like something a fourth grader would write..and if you dont want the guy laughing at you...or showing it to his friends and then laughing..dont do it

Answer 7

OK what ever you do, just don't write:
"Please reply back!!"
coz hi will get rule under you,
If hi want to reply hi will do that, with or without that "Please reply back!!".
Remember you rule with him from the moment you 1st contact him, and you lead the game as you want. [that's the superiority when you contact him] and use it wise
Try to tell him be there at (place) and (time)
don't give him chance to say no, believe me hi will be curios to know what is about and hi will come!

Answer 8

Hold on that is horrible.You should use this one.

Dear,(Name)
I just wanted to tell you that me and you need to talk.Maybe at around 4th period lunch of at th end of the day.Meet me at the stairs on the left side.It is very important and i would love if you would come.

Answer 9

I think that it's great, just put that it's urgent and stuff like that. Make him think that it is not just some note that u wrote. Also, don't write it all down on paper, say something outloud, that's the best way.
BEST OF LUCK!!!

Answer 10

doing a note is going about it the wrong way. Just tap him on the shoulder and "Hey, talk to me after class?" and he'll probably nod his head or something.