CRUSH
u see ur crush
but say nothing
he says hi u act like nothing
but inside ur screaming ur head off
u think he likes u
u tell ur friends
ur friends say ur crazy about him
then u c your crush is going out with a girl
u cry
u scream
u pull ur hair out
u throw your ipod
he says wat happen u say i love u and run away
he feels the same
ur sitting on a bench crying
he sees u
he feels bad
he touches your shoulder
u c him
he hugs u
u stop crying
he says i love u
u say me too
you hug for a while
he takes u for a walk
he says he just used the girl 2 make u jeaulous
u say wow i never knew u would do that 4 me
u guys hug
he gives u a kiss (in the check)
2007-02-23 13:16:53 · 16 answers · asked by tink.girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
in my opinion any poem that is genuine and strait from the heart is a great poem. the component of a great poem are very simple it has to be from the heart,the person writing it has to feel it and the person reading it has to feel it, in your case all theese component are present... awsome poem, oh and about the spelling comment ignore it feelings and emotions don't have spelling or gramer we just write what we feel
2007-02-23 13:24:51 · answer #1 · answered by mighty_m71 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think poems should be deep or have some message or feeling for the reader to see/feel - this can be made into such a poem if you truly think about what you're writing and create artful phrases and thoughts rather than carrying on a girly AIM conversation
no offense :)
2007-02-23 21:20:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i liked it, if you wrote it i'd say you should check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation before you start reading it to people, and maybe have the girl leave the guy when she finds out about the jealous thing cuz of all the pain he put her through, it would make the poem a little more interesting.........just a thought......
2007-02-23 21:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by Diego B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok thats not a poem..it's more of a story that you summoned up. But if he loves and you love him thats pretty cool. But did he dump the other girl ?? or ihs he dating you both now ??
2007-02-23 21:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on punctuation, but other then that it's fine, though i find if a poem rhymes a lot it's easier to read.
2007-02-23 21:20:26 · answer #5 · answered by inuyashagirl521 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say its a poem?
Well I don't want to be the one to burst your bubble ...why don't you write it in correct English...take out the u and put in you....nothing rhythms sorry its awful
2007-02-23 21:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not bad but i think itthe lines should be longer. its more like you're explaining something real fast instead of telling a story to make us understand your feelings and depth.
2007-02-23 21:27:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it o.k. with you if I print this out cause it basically just told me my future with my crush(hopefully). The poem is amazing! I love it! 2 thumbs up!!!
2007-02-23 21:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by Sha-Sha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the author is obsessed with U.
2007-02-23 21:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by Melody L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have spent quite a bit of time on this one.
Good for you !
2007-02-23 21:22:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋