My 85 year old grandmother is being verbally abusive toward me. She sends me hate mail and writes horrible things about my sister and parents to me. All of this started when her daughter, my aunt, died from cancer and now it is getting worse. She wont let anyone see or speak with my 93 year old grandpa, and we fear that she is abusing him too. Should I try and have a relationship with her or just move on? I feel guilty that I am not trying harder to "fix" what has happened, but it is out of my hands (nobody can undue death). Any advice?
2007-02-23 12:06:06 · 5 answers · asked by Sarita 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
It sounds to me like she is trying to take out her anger about her daughter's death on you and the family, really a bad way to cope. We can only hope that in time her anger will subside, but there is no guarantee. If your grandpa wants to see or speak with you, unless he has problems that prevent him from this, he will. You could try writing him a letter letting him know you are interested in contacting him and are concerned about his welfare. Unless the abuse becomes physical, there is not much you could do about it anyway, even if she was verbally abusive to him.
For now, all you can do is realize the situation is out of your control, and don't worry about trying to "fix" it, it would probably only make things worse. Stay close to your sister and parents, remember you are all in this together.
2007-02-23 12:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by userafw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds alot like my mother in law and she had manic depression. I would be concerned about grandpa at this point. There may be an elder abuse hot line if you really feel that she is abusive to him. I don't see how you could have a relationship with her at this point.Grandma is lucky to have a granddaughter who is concerned. Hope you can get some help to figure out what is wrong with grandma.
2007-02-23 12:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by breezy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your grandma is not abusing your grandpa. What nonsense! Your grandma is the only reason why your grandpa is still alive at 93. They are taking care of each other and deserve some respect. Your grandma is being overprotective of your grandpa and for good reason too, she wants him to live until he's 100.
2007-02-23 12:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by Rockford 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure how it works in your state, but in Missouri I would call the Dept of Social Services, DIvision of Aging and report a possible abusive situation. If you're not sure how to do that, call a local hospital and somebody should be able to tell what number to call. If you actually see or hear evidence of abuse (seeing hitting, or hear cries of pain, etc.), call 911.
2007-02-23 12:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by majnun99 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would do my best. One day you will remember the good times and one day you will be old. Try to avoid contact if it upsets you too much, just go as often to see her as your nerves can take.
Feel sorry for her, she is ill and old
2007-02-23 12:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋