I have been supporting my girlfriend for over two years now. She lives with me and doesn't pay any bills but the YMCA bill for both of us. Last year she said that she liked using the pool there and went with me three times a week because we both agreed that we needed to lose weight. This year I still go to the Y and she never does and is getting bigger. The other day I said that I miss my workout partner and spending time with her. She said she didn't want to go to the Y anymore because she works hard at her day job and is too tired to workout at the end of the day. I asked her how are you going to lose weight if you don't go to the Y with me because we both need to lose weight. Approx. 15 minuts goes by and she calls me on the phone and starts chewing me out saying if she isn't pretty enough for me then she's going to her house to spend the night. The next day she was ready to leave me and I told her go ahead then. Then she realized what she had done and didn't want to leave anymore.
2007-02-23 10:09:24 · 15 answers · asked by guitardan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that the way that u came at her was very good. U didn't pust that it her only her who u wanted to lose weight and I like the "miss my workout partner bit." Real smooth my man. I think that she will come around because like u said she realized what she has done and most likely she has given it some thought.
At the same time I think that u should be more open to the weight gain. If she doesn't have a problem with it then maybe it is because she really is busy. (As a side note, u should really think about giving her more financial responsibility. It makes the relationship more equality based).
Even though I think that u should be less concerned with her weight I understand where u r coming from. U started dating her when she looked a certain way and even though u have to accept change, there r still expectations that she try to remain the person that u got involved with. She should respect that. Alot of people fall into the frame of mind where they feel like they already have the girl/guy so now they can let themselves go. That's not fair to the mate.
U should just give it some time and see what happens and if that doesn't work then u should just talk to her about it. If the relationship is strong then she will respect your position.
2007-02-23 10:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. This is going to require all of your sensitivity and love. She is dealing, not so much with her weight, but with her self-image. She probably feels that she is fat and ugly, and there is no use in trying to lose weight because she has tried it before and it didn't work. She's probably also scared to go to the Y in a swimsuit, because they show any and all "faults" on a woman's body. Let her know that you love her no matter what. Tell her that you are concerned for her health, not her beauty, because she is beautiful. If she agrees to go swimming, change it up now and then with a walk after dinner, or a bike ride. Be sure to do these exercises together. She's going to need a lot of emotional support from you. Don't be afraid, she just needs to know that she is beautiful to someone, especially you. Who does the cooking, her or you? Suggest borrowing some healthy cookbooks from the library and trying the new recipes together. Go to a local farmer's market together and stock up on fresh fruits and veggies. Don't let her diet!! They always fail. Try to change your eating habits. Eat fresh fruit or veggies instead of chips or cookies for snacks. Cut back on any fried foods. Avoid going out to eat as much as possible. And always let her know that you love her, you think she is the most beautiful, lovely, interesting woman in the world. Sorry this took so long!
2007-02-23 10:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by r.p. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!! There is NO safe way because that is THE most sensitive thing to a woman. Why don't you just love her for her personality and don't live with her unless you are married? Don't date people just because they're pretty or not fat. It's a big personality thing too. But some ADVICE is to just tell her that you want to help her lose weight for her own health, not just because you don't wanna date her or whatever. Tell her that if you need to schedule something in the morning before she goes to work then do that. It will help her to start the day anyway. Hope this helped!
2007-02-23 10:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by Packer Fan 101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that you actually gain energy and lose stress as well as pounds when you workout, so maybe going to the pool or for a walk would benefit her career life as well.
Or try and suggest going before work - I think it is easier. I get up at 4:45am (ouch I know!) but throughout my day I feel great and more energized than if I sleep the extra hour and half. Going to the gym at night is easy to put off cause you are tired, or your favorite show is now, or you have laundry or whatever.......
But whatelse would you be doing in the morning?? - it also helps to put the alarm clock on the other side of the room so you have to get outt of bed to turn it off.
Good luck and keep working out yourself - also tell her how good you feel.
2007-02-23 10:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've lost 5 kilos in my first week. It's my 10th day and I have included salad with some protein (eg. egg/ lean chicken) as you suggested. After 4 years of trying, the fat is finally coming off. It truly feels like magic!
Get started today!
2016-05-20 04:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her if she doesn't want to go to y with you then the least she could do is pick up a diet book and read it...and if she gets all pissy about that, just tell her that you know that she's not into loosing weight, and that reading isn't major exercise.
2007-02-23 10:14:15 · answer #6 · answered by ღсяаՀу∙թіхіе∙ժմѕτღ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how much overweight you are talking about, but if she is anything like 20 lb or more overweight, you should tell her that you are concerned about her health. If her eating habits are not good, why don't you suggest to eat healthier.
2007-02-23 10:16:31 · answer #7 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell her, "Hey Bertha...Lay off the cake and ice cream! No wonder you are getting wider!" Stand your ground and deliver the brutal truth. She will admire you for your honesty. Good times!!!
2007-02-23 10:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, you would like her to go walking and jogging with you, and join a gym , never tell her she is over weight or a fat cow. Good luck,....be good
2007-02-23 10:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by beat_this_program 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u ppl(people) should go for a run or something. something fun to do. or get involved in coaching a sport and excersice with eachother!
2007-02-23 10:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋