She broke up with him on Wednesday.
Then he tried to kill himself yesterday (Thursday). He has kids. She feels so guilty and hasn't left his side in the hospital since his attempt. She keeps saying things like "I don't want to be the reason that his kids are fatherless." How can I explain to her that this is not her fault?
2007-02-23 09:40:47 · 16 answers · asked by RamaLama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
More info: She is not the mother of the children. She has only dated him for about 6 months. They are both in their 30's.
2007-02-23 09:58:40 · update #1
That's a tough one! Just be there for her! Try to get her to see a professional because although he may think it's her fault, he has mental problems to do something like that! She needs to have a professional explain that to her and help her to understand it! Good luck and God Bless!
2007-02-23 09:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound trite, but it's true. Suicide attenmpts are cries for help. They can also be the loudest, saddest and most pathetic attempts at attention. Your friend's boyfriend latest attempt was as others have already told you on this board...an attempt in and of itself, to hold her hostage. Make her feel accountavle and rsponsible. The boyfriend is manipulative and extremely cruel to enter into a game of emotional blackmail with her.
One more thing, if he does kill himself, she won't be the reason why his kids would be fatherless...HE'D be the reason why. He would have taken his own life. All she did was exercise her free will and elect to leave a relationship because there was no reason (in her mind) for her to stay.
He's already make it abundantly clear he needs psychological help and I assure you, so will she, if she chooses to stay by his side under duress. This blackmail in the simplest of terms and she'll hate herself for compromising if she stays for no other reason than to keep him alive. That's NOT her responsibility.
Leave him and perhaps, in doing so, he'll arrive emotionally. If he doesn't, she has no reason to feel bad one way or the other.
2007-02-23 09:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by I am Laurie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because SHE is not responsible for HIS feelings and reactions! This man obviously has a LOT wrong in his life that he tried to commit suicide. It is never just ONE thing - even a break up. He has some serious depression and mental issues and NONE of that is her fault. HE is the reason that his kids might be fatherless - suicide is a selfish, selfish thing to do for any reason.
2007-02-23 09:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by Vexer D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not her fault. many ppl do this to manipulate others. Some try to make others feel gulty. But at the end, it's not her fault he's so immature. If he has kids, he should think of his children n the kind of inheritance he'll leave them with, the suicide of a loved one is not easy for the family n close friends. He doesn't really want to kill himself, that's for sure, if he wanted to, he'd be dead by now. More women try to commit suicide, but men are actually the ones who accomplish it, tho they don't try as much. It's not her fault, but she prob needs to see some professional help, it'd be better for her and this guy's children.
2007-02-23 09:49:30 · answer #4 · answered by ironman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear RamaLama, tell your friend that its not only one little thing that makes a person want to do that its pressure at home and all that they think of doing this alot before they actually attempt it and usually if they don't succeed they will try it again until they do another reason they do is that they want more attention because they feel alone and they want people to notice them more.
2007-02-23 09:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by princess_bee_2006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the guy needs to see a therapist. Tell her that this was probably his way to hang on to her and not to let it get to her. I know, easier said than done. But I would think that what he is doing is called mental abuse, and your friend does no need a relationship with someone like that. Tell her to tell him to get some help that she will be there if he needs someone to talk to and that this action he did is not going to change her mind on going back to him.
2007-02-23 09:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by Dee G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Egg her on to feel mad at him and not sorry for his children...
It's not her fault that he tried to kill himself...he needs therapy and she needs to flee from this guy before he tries to kill himself and her too the next time...
He sounds crazy...
Where are the kids' mother or there family...
2007-02-23 09:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by angelic1302 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can't tell it's not her fault because she feels bad. it isn't her fault, but he is acting like a jerk and being controlling as well as possessive. This is his way of keeping her from leaving. If she really wants him to go away, tell her to tell his parents or his trusted loved one and then he'll stop acting this way or get help.
2007-02-23 09:44:47 · answer #8 · answered by nicoleblingy2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly there is nothing u can tell her to make her feel like it wasnt her fault because no matter what u tell her she will most likely believe what she wants to believe just be there for her she probably really needs u right now talk to her when she needs someone to talk to and let her know shes not alone
hope this helped....
2007-02-23 09:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by prettyinpearls922 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a grown man if he's that stupid to leave his kids.
it's not her fault, it's his
kids should be the most important thing in your life.
they didn't ask to be born, no man or woman should change this
i have the most respect for women that put they're kids ahead of anyone else
2007-02-23 09:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by myddad 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋