for parents only what you think about this?

Question

don't you have heard many times you should know everything befor have a child. In my case personally I think you can learn things before hand but its not actually until you have kids that you learn all the things about parenting trough the way. Theres no way to know all before hand and even when you have read and ask and inform yourself from head to toe you dont you need the experiene the practice to do it. I want to know what you think about this and did you feel the same way?

Answer 1

I was never told I needed to know everything before having a child. But I did read, and read and read and read, all during my pregnancy to get as much information as I could. And you know what? Maybe 10% of that turned out to be useful. Everything else I learned the hard way, by trial and error.

Also, those books never talk about the best lessons you learn from parenthood, the ones that shape the kind of parent you will be. My daughter has taught me so much about myself and the world I'm a part of, just by existing. Parenting is one of life's greatest lessons, and a blessing.

Answer 2

Mostly I have realized that only someone who has had children can give me advice, and even then you have to take everything they say with a grain of salt or two.
The bottom line is this... once you become a parent there is no turning back. No amount of books and research will prepare you for the days ahead. Make sure that you take the time to relax and be the parent that you want to be, not some pre-described ideal of what Celebrities are spewing at you. And even people who have 7 children find that with every new child comes a new set of worries, concerns and absolute joys.
Take Care!
:o)

Answer 3

I'm with you, babe! I read all the books and did all the reading and then I had REAL babies and all those books ended up buried in the bookshelves. You end up being able to write a book yourself. Plus, I think the people who wrote those books either never had kids themselves (and just studied other kids like guinea pigs) or else they had "easy" kids and thought they could claim the credit. Well, I have 2 boys and most of what I know about parenting I learned on the job. Books are great when you have a newborn with a fever but Grandma and other mommies are a much better resource.

Answer 4

True, all the books in the world can't tell you how to parent your child. Each child is individual with their own needs and parents develop their own parenting style while getting to know their own child.
It is good to have plenty of books with advise, but when it comes right down to it, parents know their child best.
I read so many books before my first child, but nothing could prepare me for what was ahead of me ~ just as nobody could explain to me what it's like to love my child the way I do.
Nobody understands what it's like until they've been there.
I learned alot with each of my 4 kids and still don't know everything there is to know about being a parent.
It's best to realise that we're human and as long as we have the best of intentions then we'll be just fine parents no matter how well prepared we might think we are.

Answer 5

I believe that you do attain a greater level of understanding and knowledge about how to raise children - especially your children (as they are all different) - as you are doing it. However, I did find books helpful (The "what to expect" series) in the beginning as a framework and also as developmental markers. I find some of the magazines (Parents) and websites useful as well because you can learn from other parents. You'll get alot of advice from just about everyone with a mouth, and all the books and mags will tell you what you should do as well. I always took the approach to be reasonably informed and then trust my own judgement. Whatever I do I make sure my wife and I are on same page.

Answer 6

I agree. Personally, I think you do have to live and learn! There are some things that you can and need to research, like infant carseat before the baby arrives. But there are also going to be things that you never even thought of that will arise later in the child's life. It doesn't make u a bad parent for not thinking of it before hand. It is just life.

Answer 7

I agree.....you can get all the adivice and read all the books you want, but you really have no idea what you are getting into until your there.....and each kid is different, so not one method of parenting will work for every kid.....even in the same family....It like driving a car....you might have read how, but you really don't know until your there.....what is really funny is I will bet half of the people who wrote those books have never really raised kids....they have had nanny or just studied kids in day care or somehting.....

Answer 8

Exactly, you can read all you want but on the job training is the best way to learn,specially with the first one,and because each child is different you get to learn so much.

Answer 9

No book can fully prepare you as each child is different. The fact is - you grow with your children. Just remember the basic tenets which I guess are the only things any boook can guide you on:
1. patience
2. do not compare them to others
3. listen, listen, listen
4. make time for them
5. do silly things with them
6. enjoy them
7. remember you are making memories for them!!!!!!!!!
8. give them lots of love & hugs
9. each one may need to be disciplined differently
10. you will have your own child rearing technique
11. you must still find time for YOU so that you do not snap when you are with them!
12. if there is a significant other find time for u both as well!

Answer 10

yes you can read,babysit,work w/children to get some experience which is good but real experience is having your own due to everyone is different and you cannot clock out at 4pm or put the book down its a life time career 24hrs a day no time off.no sick days or holidays off. if you are going to have children be prepared and raising children is very expensive.