How To Become More Masculine?

Question

For years, while on the exterior I am very intimidating (6'2", 220 pounds), a few really close friends who have gotten to know me have always said that I am one of, if not, the most feminine person they've ever met. I've always been extremely ultra sensitive, emotionally demanding, emotional, submissive, not into most things guys are, while into a lot of things that are construed as "girly," and for all of my life, I've managed to repress homosexual and crossdressing feelings. (outside of the few times I've slipped and dressed up) The times I've tried to man up, no one seems to notice.

I just want to fit in as one of the guys and be that real manly guy and one day find a woman I can make happy. I'm just tired of hearing that emotionally, I am like a woman and have a brain like one. (maybe it stings because they have a point) I just want to be one of the guys, so I come to you... what can I do to achieve this goal? What can I do to finally show a more masculine side? Thanks!

Answer 1

Buddy, I have read your responses and I will tell you this. If you are actually gay, then be gay. If you are not and I suspect that you are not, then just be your self and the hell with what other people say. Women kind of like a sensitive guy.

Answer 2

I guess you can keep faking the "manly" thing, or just be yourself. As a guy who went through a sex change (I was born female bodied), I can tell you that if you think you "slipped up" while dressing as a female, you might want to work on why you're thinking you have to be a man just because you were born one. Any number of people are born in the wrong sex, so just consider that you might be one of them. I was, and I've never been happier since I just accepted that I was a guy instead of the "girl" I was born. And I'm not very manly, in the sense that I know a lot about mechanics and such, but I'm manly in every other sense. If you're a female, accept it. If you're a male, accept it. And if you're somewhere inbetween, accept it. Everyone is different in some way. Just accept yourself, whatever or whoever that is.

Answer 3

There are people, women who love a man to dress like a little slut, kneel at her feet and submit. And there are men who want a man to do that too. And there are natural submissives who want nothing more than to give over control to someone else. And yes, subs can be male!
My point--There is nothing wrong with who you are. Maybe you are a bit kinkier...You probably feel really alone. I did for a long time too, thought my tendancies, both as a submissive and dominant were wrong, abusive, atypical...take your pick.
The fact in that humanity comes in all sorts of kinks. The trick is to accept yourself.
Find someone to talk to. Find some way to explore this, if even only on the internet. Once you open up and discover who YOU aren't, fitting in will be less important than being YOU.
If you need to talk, leave a message here and I'll PM and give you my email.
Take care!

Answer 4

Okay, after all these answers are you finally getting the idea that it's okay to be yourself? IT IS. Your friends will relax if you will. You don't need to all be the same. See a psychologist if that will help you to understand and accept yourself more, it certainly has helped me (find someone you like). I was always "different" as well. I cannot relate to women my age on an interest level e.g. shopping, shoes, make-up etc. Some men in non -traditional dress and being are gorgeous. People who are genuine will get over any stupid issues and love you for YOU, and support you in whatever helps you feel expressed, happy and at ease.
Take care.

Answer 5

Sounds like you had undiagnoised and untreated gender nonconformity of some sort. Gender nonconformity can range from children learning characteristics that seem to belong to the opposite gender, too a child wanting to be the opposite gender. You sound like you never wanted to be the opposite gender, though you may have had hormonal imbalance that caused you to construct characteristics that seemed to belong to the opposite gender. Often people confuse this with homosexuality, then the child will construct homosexuality issues. Often the child can not remember all the influences they had on themselves and the choices they made. Sometimes just understanding more of the issue can help one overcome some of the burdens brought on by having undiagnoised and untreated gender nonconformity. Not all children with a gender nonconformity constructed homosexuality. Not all children that construct homosexuality had a gender nonconformity.
Sounds like you never crossdressed either.

You could grow a beard, you could wear more plads, darker color clothing. Wear a hat. You could work out and go for that Boflex body.
Do things like open car door for a woman, stand up as a woman leaves the table, and returns to the table you should offer to seat her. Take an intrest in sports.

Hear are some good articles you could read:
http://www.siscom.net/~direct/husbands/masculinity.htm
http://www.smh.com.au/news/Health/Women-more-attracted-to-men-with-feminine-faces/2005/02/13/1108229858700.html?oneclick=true
http://www.exodus.to/content/view/65/55/

Answer 6

You, my friend, are asking the wrong question.

As exhibit "A" in support of this answer, I give you your following statement "and for all of my life, I've managed to repress homosexual and crossdressing feelings. (outside of the few times I've slipped and dressed up)"

You need to be asking different questions, mi perro.

You can take some "macho" lessons, but I think you'd be wasting your time.

If you hadn't made mention of that, then I would also say that you just need to be yourself. Any attempt to "man up" will be seen through by others. Just be yourself, whoever that is.

Answer 7

If your friends can't accept you for who you (really) are, then it's time to get new friends. Don't put so much effort into what other people think of you. As long as you are a good person and your actions don't harm others, you are good to go.

Most men, weather they admit it or not, have had homoerotic fantasies. By being honest and in-touch with your feelings it makes you more of a (real man) than they could ever hope to be.

Any of us would be so lucky to have a friend like you and if yours can't see that, you should send them some really thick glasses.

Answer 8

If you want to BE everyone else, then start acting like them.

If you want to be yourself, then stop caring about what others think or say about you.

That's the answer. If you're an oily-headed chick-man, who cares? That's you. **** the people that think it's a bad thing. : P

Then again, you could always damage your body and everyone else's life by buying some anabolic steroids and eating as much meat as possible. Then, you could bash in the heads of small woodland creatures like an ogre. Oh, don't forget listening to pop-rock! Lots and LOTS of it! Make sure to have a beer every hour and not to wash your balls, so that manly musk smell causes some people to gag. : P

Okay, now in all seriousness, do you really give a **** who sees you as a 'bad example of a male'? Each of us has a different balance of hormones.

Now... hormone balances can be upset by our actions, too. Here's a tip: Observe your diet for a while. Conventional, packaged, and over heated foods tend to cause drastic imbalances in hormone levels. Meats and dairy the same. Eat meals with plenty of fruit and vegetables, get enough water, enough sleep, etc.

...And then be your own psychologist. You're causing your suffering; No one else.

Answer 9

Maybe that's who you are. And it's never wrong to be who you are. Whay do you think? Should you be an unhappy man trying to be one of the guys for the rest of your life? Just be happy and accept who you are and who you are not. And dude, if you think like a woman, you should have not trouble getting plenty of them. Sometimes I wish I knew what they think, LOL.

Answer 10

You don't have to be Mr. Manly to be a great man. Women love men as long as they're kind and caring.