my 7 year old was the only child in his class not invited to another childs birthday party.?

Question

Hes very kind hearted and his feelings get hurt easy. He tries real hard for the other kids to like him. This child has been mean to him once day 1, poking him in the chest etc.Ive tried to stay out of it inless hes being hurt. This child not inviting him to this party is really upsetting him hurting his feelings. What should I do or say to make him feel better?

Thank you all for answering especially so fast. You're such wonderful people to care about someone elses child. Every one of you give me great advice, and I'm going to use some of each one. Thank you all so much!

Answer 1

Do not let your child dwell on this for too long. Do not over emphazise this issue. Take him to another fun place the day of the birthday party, so he has something nice and fun to do with someone that actually cares about him (you). You could take him to the zoo, to the movies, etc. Make him know that there is someone that actually cares for him and invite some of his friends (not the ones from the class). If there are none, invite relatives around his age at your house and plan fun activities. And maybe he can go to school the next day with a simple gift for the birthday boy the day after (a chocolate bar or candy) as a birthday present, so your boy does not learn to have hard feelings.

Answer 2

The same thing happened to me in second grade. One of the girls in the class had a pool party, and invited everyone but me. Not only that, but she would talk about it all day long. While at school I would joke with my friends that I didn't want to go anyways, but I was really hurt.
My mom comforted me for a while, then tried to put it in perspective. I think you should do the same thing. Just tell your son that the party wouldn't have been worth going to if it was for a cruel bully. tell him that you understand why he's hurt; and that it seems bad at the moment; pretty soon the whole party will be forgotten. Once he is feeling a little better try to cheer him up with a joke, treat, ect.
I'm sorry a child has been treating your child so poorly, hopfully that bully will grow up and find something more productive to do with his time.
Goodluck!

Answer 3

If the party hasn't happened yet, I would contact the child's parents. It might have truly been an oversight, or it might be something the parents are unaware of. My school has a policy that invitations are to be mailed if all the children in the class aren't going to be invited. I still allow my students to pass them out as long as they've invited all the girls or all the boys. Otherwise I have to inconvenience the parents by making them mail the invitations. Again, contact the parents and explain the situation to them. If not getting invited was intentional on the part of their child, they'll no doubt be completely embarrassed of their child's behavior. You say your son tries really hard to get other kids to like him. Maybe that's the problem. He needs to relax and be himself. Eventually he'll make connections with other kids. :)

Answer 4

There is nothing i can say here that hasnt been said already. I just wanted to give my support and tell you how sad i feel for your little guy. I do think that it might be kind of extreme, but if it is a fact that he is the only kid from his class not invited to the party i think i would tell the teacher/principal of the school and also confront the other kids parents with this. And for certain confront his parents on how their brat is bullying your boy and tell them you wont stand for it. Things are different these days, you dont have to take bullying in school. If the school allows it and does nothing to stop it they can legally be held responsible.
If you do confront the parents or anyone at the school over not inviting your kid MAKE CERTAIN first that he is the only kid left out. If even one other child was left out then there isnt much you can say about it.
If push comes to shove, and the bullying continues you might want to consult an attorney. I would. Your child does not have to stand for that kind of treatment.

Answer 5

It can really hurt a child's feelings when they feel left out of something but you will simply have to explain that sometimes we just don't get invited to things. Even though the other child's parents obviously went about it the wrong way or the children wouldn't know who was or was not invited, it can be used as a time to teach him a life lesson. It is hard to see him hurting though, I'm sure. Maybe you could ease his pain by planning something special for the two of you to do together that day....or for the family to do together.

Answer 6

At our children's school, there is a strict policy against passing out party invitations, unless every single child is invited. This is something I think you should definitely talk with the teacher about, as well as the administrators. They need to contact the parent of that child and let them know how it made your child feel. As far as what to say to your child, I would definitely let him know that the kid who didn't invite him is not the sort of friend he would want anyways. Try to build up his self-esteem by making him like himself for who he is, not for what the other kids want him to be. If he has any siblings, that is a plus because you can tell him that his brother/sister will ALWAYS be his very best friend. That is the relationship I would encourage. The child who did not invite him wanted your son to get upset. Again, I think this is something to be discussed with the teacher and principal. I would not let it go because it probably has happened to other children, and it will continue to happen. Unfortunately, the parents are really the ones to blame.

Answer 7

You need to talk to the teacher. I know that in our school, they don't allow this. Either you invite all the boys in your class or you have to send invitations through the mail. If it's a girl you have to invite all the girls. Maybe this was just over looked and there was a mistake made. Call the mother of the child and ask very politely. If this wasn't a mistake, please do something special with your child that day. Tell him it was a mistake and it's o.k. because you had this specially planned just for him and you.
Sorry this happened, it is very difficult. But please call the mother, Like I said it might just be a mistake...GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

No matter what you tell him, he probably won't figure this out on his own until adulthood.

Most likely, your kid is the coolest in school - but you should know from your own experiences that KIDS SUCK. They are the meanest little beings on the planet. Especially to one another. The day of the party, plan something for you to do with your kid. Take him out to do something just the two of you.

If you have to, make up a story about how you were the nerdy kid left out of all the other reindeer games when you were a kid. I know I was. But adulthood is way different. It probably won't change for him until college. Kids are just horribly mean like that. I had a miserable childhood. However, as soon as I moved on to college, I was constantly invited to really cool parties and got to know a ton of really cool people.

The sociology of your average school just sucks. It likely won't make him feel better to know that there's nothing he can do about it right now - but you have to brighten his spirits. Take him to do something fun and special and let him know that he is a truly great kid regardless of what the other little scumbags he goes to school with think.

Also, nothing gets to a bully like someone who is completely unaffected by their actions. Teach him to ignore these dorks. It might really bother him emotionally now, but that will turn around when he's a doctor or a lawyer or something really cool and he runs into that lose working the window at McDonald's asking, "would you like fries with that?"

It will happen too. That really popular assmuch that's ruining your kid's day now - will inevitably grow up to be a loser who is working a crap job as an adult because he never learned that the world didn't revolve around him.

Answer 9

This is one of those "life lessons". This kind of thing might happen throughout life for various reasons and it's best to help him deal with it without any kind of revenge. You could say to him that the other boy doesn't know how nice or fun he really is yet and that his party would have been more fun with him. By the way, I would invite the "mean" boy to your child's party---it often works wonders to break the cycle of teasing as that child is now on YOUR child's turf and he's the leader----and you're there to monitor things and maybe do a little teaching along the way.

Answer 10

You should buy him something he likes, an x box 360 he would love. Or take him somewhere he wants to go, tell him that its his day and buy him lots of ice creem. This story reminds me of the way i was treated all through school, and i was a good kid too. I tried hard to be liked as well. Your child sounds like he has a good heart and a good careing mother. I always had a good mother and when i felt bad she could always cheer me up. Really though buy him an x box 360, my mother bough me a nentendo 64 when all the kids from my class went to disney land without me and it made me feel really good. Have a nice day.