My Boss' Boyfriend, who works with me, keeps sending me provocative e-mails, he has a habit of doing this with many women in the office. There have been previous incedents, that have turned nasty, he always manages to get off scott free, because his woman fights for him.
The more I avoid him, the more he pesters me. I don't respond to any of his mails, but this doesn't seem to deter him at all.
What should I do
?
2007-02-23 08:21:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ignore it is what I would do, if at all possible, if not, keep them all, print them in their entirity for evidence, and start proceedings first with HR, then out to government. Whatever it takes.
I would probably get in trouble for quietly telling the git if he wants to keep his bits, he will STOP harassing me because I am more than a bit mental. Just do it so no one could hear me.
--That Cheeky Lad
2007-02-23 09:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HR will stay on the management side and downplay your complaint to the minimal.
If you absolutely love your job and have no intention to leave:
1- Ask the guy to stop sending you those emails and tell him how they make you feel.
2- If he continues, then it is harassing and you can take your case to your manager and/or HR. Remember, the first request/offend is not always illegal.
3- You can't demand what discipline he should get. HR is only responsible to give you a comfortable working environment. That is, they may just pat him on the back and tell him not to send you any more of those personal emails. They will also warn him about retaliation.
4- You will continue to work with him at the same place.
If it is just a job like any others, then you should start looking for a new job. It is not worth it to fight. They only apply the law to the unfavorite people.
2007-02-23 09:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by Na 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like the definition of sexual harassment. If your boss is deliberately doing nothing about this situation and is allowing it to persist, then she is as much to blame as he is.
You write that there have been previous incidents. I would first speak with the other women in your office who have had the same problems. Then, take your complaint and hopefully their complaints as well (strength in numbers) to the union or human resources person. Make it very clear to them that this CANNOT continue and that it is completely illegal for someone to be allowed to treat co-workers in this manner. Print out all proof in email form, and you may even want to covertly bring in a tape recorder to work so that you can tape any conversations that you have with him when he is bothering you. This will be invaluable evidence as well.
If this does not help the situation, then I would certainly talk with an attorney. Since there is likely documentation or witnesses to the "previous incidents" that he has caused, you should have a very strong case. In fact, if other women within the office are extremely bothered by it as well, then you could potentially have a class action lawsuit against the company.
This website link will give you some additional information that you may need to know while pursuing your case against this guy in your office.
http://www.eeoc.gov/types/sexual_harassment.html
Good luck, and just remember that no one deserves to be treated this way. You should NOT have to deal with this, nor should you have to change jobs so as to avoid it. Quitting your job is NOT the solution to this problem as others have suggested. Even if you were to leave, then this behavior would continue, and someone else would have to deal with it. Stand up against this; with the amount of proof and previous problems that this boss's boyfriend has caused, I would say that you have a very strong case!
2007-02-23 08:49:20 · answer #3 · answered by zombieapparel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Print the emails and document any correspondence between the two of you. If you are really serious about ending this I would go to Human Resources or better yet email the provocative emails to them. If you can get other women to do the same then they cannot ignore this. Of course this will cause big problem between you and your boss for sure. You have to ask yourself if this is worth it.
If Human Resources does nothing save the evidence and go to the state, because sexual harassment is illegal in every state in the Unites States.
Good Luck this is a hard situation to be in.
2007-02-23 10:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by krupsk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep the e-mails for evidence. Once you have a few go tell the supervisor. If the supervisor doesn't do anything go to the next level. Make sure you use the proper steps, so you don't get in trouble. Or go by company policy and procedure. Eventually, you will find someone who will take action, on your behalf. If not you can always get a lawyer, to sue the company.
2007-02-23 08:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go directly to HR providing copies of the evidence printed out. Copy the emails onto a disk so that the accomplice cannot accidentally "delete" them from your computer.
Make sure you have kept a log of all the harassing communications and incidents. Do not talk to the harasser nor his accomplice (the woman who fights for him) about what you are doing.
If your employer refuses to do anything, hire a lawyer and sue.
You should not have to put up with this illegal behavior.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 08:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Anonymously e-mail him to no end! Create a new e-mail account with his name on yahoo or something and send it to his work e-mail address all day with random messages. You could include links about sexual harassment, appropriate work behavior, etc; this may straighten out the problem a bit!
If not, it will drive him crazy having e-mails coming in to him from himself! Use the computers at your local library.
2007-02-23 12:49:32 · answer #7 · answered by Reserved 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep his emails. this is your proof. ask him to stop or you'll take things further. if your boss wont sort him out .go to the police. no one should feel uncomfortable at work.failing that play him at his own game,tell him you cant stop thinking about him, you want him etc(obviously out of earshot of others) not email either.arrange to meet him,but also arrange for your big burly boyfriend(pretend)to arrive "finding" you with him. get your friend to scare him off and if that doesnt work you could always try the juvenile but effective teasing every time he passes you titter under your breath muttering comments about the rumours regarding his small member.he's just a playground bully who needs sorted and your boss is an idiot if she cant see him for the sicko he is.
2007-02-23 08:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by kazzy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you go over your boss's head on this one? It would help if you all got together to complain if he has been doing it to several of you. I know it will hold things up but create a dossier of printed emails he has sent you, and times when he has harassed you with descriptions of what happened. If he approaches you tell him you do not want anything to do with him, and want no emails from him, and walk away. Good luck.
2007-02-23 08:28:48 · answer #9 · answered by tinkerbell34 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Print out a copy of all the emails.
Show them to your boss and make a complaint.
if she does nothing make a formal written complaint.
If there is someone superior to your boss, take the complaint to them.
If still nothing happens threaten that you will take the matter to an industrial tribunal - this way it will all be a matter of public record - and it may encourage her/them to do something about it.
If nothing happens still you will need an employment solicitor or specialist at the CAB/law centre who can take your case on.
2007-02-23 08:27:53 · answer #10 · answered by jeanimus 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋