I am nearly 18 and i've never had a serious/long term relationship. I am being completley honest when I say i am very attractive looking, I've got a pretty face, nice body, etc and I think I've got a pretty decent personality. It's really worrying me because all my friends have had or have a boy/girlfriend and I have almost no confidence left. Any relationships I have had (however short they may have been) I've always been left hurt and really upset. This whole situation is starting to depress me and I don't think I can take being single for much longer. I've tried the whole don't look for it it'll come to you thing but it really doesn't work!
What am i doing wrong? What should I be doing?
Any advice??
2007-02-23 08:07:46 · 51 answers · asked by ella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the low confidence is not helping you...even if you attract someone it will be someone who will take advantage of that and treat you bad...
I think what is happening here is you are too focused on being with someone...and coming of as desparate and eager...and also coming off as there is a good reason not to be with you...
enjoy your single time and don't worry about it...find other things that make you happy and confidant...let it happen from there...
2007-02-23 08:13:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
I felt exactly the same but I was on the other side of the fence. I used to spend SO much time saying quite verbally "why is it that I don't have a girlfriend!!!" all of my mates do and not me!
It was also at exactly the same age as you, I am now 26. I would say one piece of advice, don't just jump into something with someone who isn't right. It is far better to wait for the right relationship rather than just get some kind of 'filler' temporary guy.
The thing is, you may be looking in the wrong places. I always found it impossible to find a girl because the only place I met girls outside of school was in clubs when I had to shout across to them on a dance floor which didn't feel right.
I think the old adage is that you should look a little further, I am sure where-ever you are from there are tons of really great, kind, affectionate and good looking guys who would tear off their arm to be with someone hot like you...
Also, try not to be too influenced by your friends, peers and the media... I know it seems like EVERYONE has someone but the truth is there are a lot of people in relationships because it is simply easier to be with someone than be on your own.
Yes in hindsight (and perhaps because I am a guy) I sort of wish I had done more things with more girls etc. but the truth is I respected myself more by not just sleeping with any skirt that crossed my path.
Don't worry. Seriously Mr Right is just around the next corner, relax, enjoy your youth and you'll be swimming in roses before you know it.
Good luck. xxx
2007-02-23 08:31:55 · answer #2 · answered by Nick D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not want to hear this but you are still very young! Don't worry about it so much sweetie! You have your whole life ahead of you and during your life time you are going to meet many many guys. One thing I always say is you need to kiss many toads before you get to your prince. Maybe your problem is that your making too much of this situation. You need to stop worrying and stressing because it's only going to make things worse. A lot of the times you just have to stop looking and then a guy will come to you. I know it sounds like crappy advice, but really, how long did you try that for?? It sounds like you've had boyfriends in the past so it's not like you've been single all your life. You just need to be patient. You will find the person you are meant to be with. Don't rush into anything either. That can be a reason why your past relationships haven't worked. Good luck and just keep your head up. You will find someone some day. But believe me, you are still too young to start getting depressed over this.
2007-02-23 08:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by devious805er 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice is to do the exact opposite of what you are doing now. I think the biggest mistake a girl can make is to wait for the guys to make all the moves. First of all, it takes a lot of guts for a guy to make a move because the girl can always reject him. If a girl makes a move, the guy will feel flattered and will rarely shoot her down.
Also, if you wait for someone to come to you, then are you really getting what you want? There is nothing wrong with pursuing a guy. As I said, find one you like and start up a conversation...this is usually enough to get things going. And as I said, he won't shoot you down.
In high school I kind of felt the same way as you do. For some reason I got really sick of it and found out that the best looking girl in the school didn't have a date for the Valentine's day dance. I asked, and she agreed to go with me. Apparently no one else had asked her and she kind of felt bad about it. I think that a lot of guys were scared off by her good looks. This could be your case. You never know what you can get until you try. She ended up really not being my type, but hey...for a while there all the other guys in school were pretty envious of me.
2007-02-23 08:17:04 · answer #4 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you are still young and have plenty of time to find Mr. Right. Don't feel too bad I'm 30 and have never been in a relationship either. I have not lost hope and I'm actually coll with the idea because at least I'm not trying to pressure someone into love. I don't want a relationship that bad that I would be in a situation that was forced. Hang in there and trust me if you are as fine as you say you are then you will not have problems in the near future. Besides boys your age have no idea what a good woman looks like.
2007-02-23 08:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, It doesn't matter if you haven't been in a long term relationship yet. It'll come eventually, and I'm sure it'll be with a really special guy then. Maybe it'll do you good to have different things on your mind then relationships. Go have a girlsnight with your friends or go out and enjoy being single now you still can. But of course keep your eyes open, maybe then it won't take too long anymore. good luck
2007-02-23 08:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by Marlieke89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
noone has had a serious/longterm relationship by age 18..... no matter what they think at the time. very few people end up with thier high school sweethearts.... if anything you are ahead of the game, because you won't take the next year or two to realize that. you clearly take relationships seriously (reason for the pain) and as you grow older, you will find a relationship where that yeilds a positive result.... no reason to worry, you are not old enough yet to be worried about being too old.
2007-02-23 08:14:49 · answer #7 · answered by foo__dd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young and pretty, you don't have to have a boyfriend. Enjoy finding out about life and who you really are, then you will have all the boys standing in a queue, for just for you. Go out with your friends, have fun and laugh alot, embrace the spirit of freedom. You have to love yourself, before anyone else can truly love you. Take each day as it comes and try to make the most out of it. Stop worrying or being depressed. Your not doing anything wrong. Just appreciate what you have and value your principles. Your life has just began. Best luck to you.
2007-02-23 08:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by ambertottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you must feel, but you really have to be happy being on your own before you can have a good relationship, that may be the reason you keep getting hurt. In a way I think being pretty is a hindrance in a way, you have to make sure someone is with you for your personality. Don't rush things, you're really young, you have your whole life ahead of you!
2007-02-23 08:17:37 · answer #9 · answered by soph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The previous response was good. You are still very young. I understand what you are saying though. Also as the previous person said you need confidence. You may be quite shy and you should know there are many in the same boat (like I was).
High school was an unhappy time for me. Same situation as you. You see things on TV and you wonder why you are not having fun like those people. Real life is not like that for almost everybody. You should hang in there and smile.
2007-02-23 08:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you choosing people who are not right for you? Like spoiled and full of themselves. Are you clingy or bossy? Do you expect a commitment before you have time to know each other very well?
You are nice looking, with a good personality. Don't rush it. Respect yourself and don't give yourself away sexually. Guys don't keep or respect someone that he can have easily.
I married someone the first time when I was 17. I thought it was love. Found out later that he didn't. Then, I met the love of my life when I was 36 and old enough to realize what love and commitment was about. We have been together for 29 years.
2007-02-23 08:16:16 · answer #11 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋