There is this guy, been in my life off and on for three years. We both really care about eachother, I guess you can say that I have a hard time expressing how I feel through words,so eventhough there is this "obvious" feeling and sense of a connection I guess I feel no need to express what is there. The problem is I think he is afraid I wouldnt want to be with him or something? maybe due to my inabilty with words. But I am wondering ......the only time he says thing that seem pretty blunt is when we hare having sex. something weird like " this could be all yours if you want it" or he wil ask me if he is the only one I am with sexually. I dont know if he is playing around, caught up in the pleasure, or if this is just the easiest tiime for him to tell me how he feels. It is ridiculous how long this inmature situation has gone on and I dont want to mess things up but I cant take it any longer! I hope I explained this well enough! I would be thankful for (especially men) your input! Than
2007-02-23 07:57:23 · 12 answers · asked by yessca333 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
excuse my sloppy grammar!
2007-02-23 07:58:33 · update #1
I think you explained it pretty well right there. Why dont you just tell him what you just typed exactly? That IS pretty weird that he says that to you during sex. I would just straight out ask him why he says it at that time. Hope that helped.
2007-02-23 08:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by Boo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I've done that before. My girlfriend gets very defensive and she is a drama queen at times. If it's a sensitive subject, she usually gets mad and ignores the subject.
During sex, she's not on the defense and she is more calm and in a better mood. For example, I caught her in a lie once, and when I tried to approach her she went nuts. I brought it up during sex and blatantly said to her, "you need to stop lying to me, are you going to stop?" And she said "yes, I'm sorry".
Now, you always run the risk of the girl not taking you seriously at the time, but I at least feel better about myself getting it out, when I normally would run into an arguement.
It's kind of similiar to someone getting drunk, and "the truth comes out". Your inhabitions are lower during sex.
I've also said things, just to say them too, like "that's my $&*#%, you're never going to let anyone else get it, right?" That's just for no reason other than funny sex talk lol.
Hope this gave some insite...
2007-02-23 16:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by goin_all_out2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a way to tell him how you feel...for me it's always been through text message...here's how you should start:
~Hi, what's up?!
his response
~I was just thinking about you
his response
~Well you know me and you have been on and off for 3yrs, and I really like what we have, but I lately my feelings for you have been changing and I'm tired of pretending as if they haven't.
his response
After this conversation, it should be easier to talk about it, if he doesn't agree then maybe you should move, why be with someone for so long that doesn't want to be with on more then just a sexual note....good luck to you though
2007-02-23 16:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I think maybe hes just caught up in the moment. You need to confront him, but not while your having sex. Wait till its over and kinda hint to him that the things he says to you make you uncomfortable and you think its unacceptable. Dont worry about messing it up. You dont want to be talked to like that, so why do you care if he splits because your being honest and telling him it bothers you? If he dont care, why should you? Just kinda be soft about it and wait for his reaction before you respond.
2007-02-23 16:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by punky brewster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him with out having sex......the more sex you give the more he will tell you he loves you just to keep getting it! When a guy loves you it feels good to tell that someone that they are in love so I think he is only using you for sex.
Good luck!!
2007-02-23 16:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm... thats a tough one. Geez, does he want to be with you? Do you want to be with him?? Then it's easy get together, and stop playing games! Your right it is ridiculous, and you deserve better than that. You need someone who is going to love you as much as you love them and want to work at the relationship as much as you do.
2007-02-23 16:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by dala_o_2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may have the same problem as you not being able to say in words my boyfriend used to be like that then after i told him that i didn't like when he said "you like that daddy d!@# huh? uhhh it annoyed me to death but i let him not that it wasn't cute at all and he stopped saying it but you also have to be more open with him other then when you are having sex
2007-02-23 16:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe both of you need to learn how to communicate with each other, or is it just the sex that holds you together
2007-02-23 16:02:30 · answer #8 · answered by sandy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is part of his fantasy. A normal person would never act this way. You should not use this time for leverage.
2007-02-23 16:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats just sex talk things he want to say yes to he know you want say no during sex
2007-02-23 16:03:59 · answer #10 · answered by Dr shiznet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋