My mom suffers from Dementia and daily forgets that she quit smoking.?

Question

Due to emphysema, the doctor ordered my 86 yr old mom to quit smoking last July. Her health has thankfully improved since then. She, however forgets every day that she quit so she goes through the house looking for cigarettes and then accuses me of hiding them from her. Then she breaks down and cries and goes to bed. Then she gets up and the cycle returns. Any tips on what I can say to her to get her to settle down? Thanks

Answer 1

Offer reminders that she quit smoking. DO NOT argue with her. Attempt to redirect or distract her. Unfortunatly with dementia short term memory is the first to go and this is not a problem that can be fixed. I would simply remind her she has quit smoking. If she gets upset she will be ok and she will forget that you would not let her smoke.
If you are her primary caregiver, try having other members of the family state the same to her.
Offer praises on how proud you are of her for not smoking.
You could also substitute a snack or candy- for smoking.

If you need help with care try adult centers with day programs or some of the home care agencies

Answer 2

Firstly, it will pass, I can assure you. It's a pretty horrible feeling and takes a while even to realise that it is a result of not smoking, but it will pass in time. (A matter of weeks in fact). High level anxiety is the right word and it definitely results in shorter temper, inability to concentrate for any length of time without getting agitated and yeah, nervousness and worry (possibly paranoia to a degree). Very difficult to sleep too and it feels like you wanna sit bolt upright every few minutes because there's so much buzzing go on.... not very nice, I know. But it will pass, hang in there, it will start to feel better in as little as another week or two, honestly. If you want to see a doctor for any legal drugs you can have it wouldn't hurt I guess, but to be honest, it's probably best not to. Not sure how fit you are but extra exercise helps a lot, it will help you sleep too and ease those shakes. I started swimming and running at the time and that helped me. Glass of wine doesn't hurt either but try not to substitute one thing for another and rely on it. It’s hard but the most important thing to do is realise what it is that's causing it and remember that when you feel the worst. (I have no idea about the medical / biological side of withdrawal of this substance and it doesn’t matter at all) – you know that’s all that’s happening and it will soon get better. I know sometimes you feel like you want to just run from yourself or the physical and mental feelings you are having, or slam your head into a wall to stop the buzzing, but just know it will soon be over. Try and occupy your mind as I said with exercise, reading, whatever. It will feel a lot better soon. Take care, all the best !!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Talk to her doctor about resources with dealing with people with dementia. They have to be watched 24-7 for a reason and some people know exactly what to do for these patients, so maybe you can get some training on how to help her better, or maybe even hire someone to come and help you during certain hours. It just seems like there should be a better way than her ending up crying herself back to sleep. :-)

Answer 5

make it a point to brag on her just before the time and you notice she is fixing to ask or look for a cigarette tell her right then mom, im so glad you quit smoking two yrs ago it sure has improved your health dont you think,i know you had told me how you really had such a distaste for them, is it hard to do that i have a friend that is trying and i said i would ask you because most people cant do it the way you did.............good luck

Answer 6

You probably can't. Try posting signs/messages around the house saying that she quit and no more ciggs. See if you can get a CPA from your local masshealth/medicare type program, check with social security. They may give you some hours and you can get a break from caring for her.

Answer 7

I would love to be able to tell you a simple phrase that wou work but I don't really know any. Instead let me direct you to a web site with some wonderful products. It is called nikken.com. The products are all natural...no drugs or harmful chemicals. There is one called "mental clarity" that would help with the memory, But there is so many other products there that could help with any other health problem she may be having. Please check out the site. If you have any questions or would like to inquire more info please feel free to contact me

Answer 8

oh dear...thats sad. but please, at 86 years old and unwell...dont make her remaining years miserable by denying the thing she likes the best. couldnt you just let her have 2 or 3 cigarettes a day? - i know its not good for her..but if that will make her happy...wouldnt that be best? i sympathise with you though...dementia is a horrible thing and i think you are pretty great for caring for her...i wish you well!

Answer 9

constantley explain to her that she quite smoking. and if that doesn't work, put her in a good nursing home that way, she'll be watched over 24 7.

Answer 10

Just freakin let the woman smoke. When you're 86 you'll understand. Can't she just do what she wants? She's sick anyway.