Can anyone out there offer me any advice on how to convince the man I am having a long distance relationship with that I am not dating anyone else? I have told him and tried to make him feel secure with the fact that we have been honest with one another to this point and if I was dating someone else or had the urge that I would let him know. I am falling for him and want him to know that he is the only man for me, I am seriously thinking of quiting my job and moving to where he is to be with him. I only have eyes for him and I don't know how to make him understand that. If you can offer any advice please dish it out...thanks in advance.
2007-02-23 06:46:28 · 16 answers · asked by BOBBIE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to say this, but if he doesn't trust you now, how are you going to begin to build a solid foundation for a relationship? ALso, if you decide to quit your job and move to where he is, just to gain his trust, what happens when that's not good enough either?
Sounds to me like this guy has some insecurity issues, and believe me, after a 7 year relationship with someone like that, I learned that it's something THEY have to fix themselves. No matter what you do to show him your for real, he will come up with something else. I say tell him, "listen, I love YOU, I am being faithful and true to YOU. If you can't accept that, I don't know what to tell you." Let HIM make the change, and wise up!
2007-02-23 06:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by amelia_02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The advice: Be careful. Often what one accuses the other of is what the first one is doing. If they are that insecure, you are looking at that getting worse instead of better when you are together. It is a major red flag. That being said, ask him what it would take to convince him that you aren't dating anyone else. Then decide if you want to jump through that hoop for them, because that's exactly what that is. Maybe it is time the long distance relationship became a normal relationship. Only you two can make that decision.
2007-02-23 06:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by Lord L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldn't have to "convince" him of anything. u guys are in a Relationship..that entails Trust and Commitment. just tell him straight out, if i wanted someone else, i wouldn't be here right now. i am not a cheater, i am a good person. if u accuse me otherwise, then 1) i know u don't trust me, and 2) u think so badly of me and my values that u are unable to respect me. and that is NOT the kind of relationship i want or need.
long distance is TOUGH. seriously speaking, most people who accuse the other of cheating, it is due to something guilty in their conscience. have u ever thought of doing like a Ryan's Roses thing on him? try getting a friend to offer him free flowers or something cuz he won a contest...see who he sends it to and what he wants to write on the card. if she chooses u, fine. but if he sends it to someone else, he may be dating around behind ur back.
ok if ur not into doing that, then just talk and communicate w/ him. say that u can only say the same words over and over again. if he wants to move to you, fine. or if he wants to propose, fine. but don't EVER move for a boyfriend before he proposes... cuz he will know that u are wrapped around his finger, and that is not good... i have a little theory that in general, men are better off beign wrapped around a woman's finger because Women are more Emotionally mature and Sensitive, so they can take care and observe many aspects of the relationship at once. but men are not as attune to that, and therefore may not be able to see or observe all that the woman needs, but if she is wrapped around his finger, she is pretty much being pulled around on a leash AND being treated badly... that sucks. i know there are bad women out there too..but in general, a committed woman is most usually willing to do Anything and Everything for her man cuz it is in her nature. i thnk anyways...
long story short, u can find someone who knows how to commit. don't let the guy off the hook cuz u are "falling" for him... when u think about it, why wouldn't u want to fall for a man who has everything u want and need??
2007-02-23 06:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not make anyone feel anything. Seriously, if this guy is so insecure and jealous do you really think that uprooting your life will change that? He will only wonder where you are 24/7 when you are not with him. Plus you will resent him when you make a huge change and things are not good in the relationship because he doesn't trust you.
2007-02-23 06:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by ciao_gina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need what you get from mutual companionship...together.
You've never experienced it with him. If you have, this would'nt be happening.
The keyword is "together"...kinda rough hardly seeing each other....unless you have a deep bond that won't be broken. (true love) That's not there, otherwise he would'nt doubt you......He may be doing what he blames you for.
You speak of moving to him? Do you know what's there?
I will advise against moving right in, get your own place, until you learn more about him. He has issues of some sort...find them out.
Note:
Some people will sabotage a relationship from their own worries.(maybe that's all it is)....or maybe he's married?
2007-02-23 07:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by Bonnie Lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he keeps thinking that your seeing someone else then he's insecure about himself because at some point he must have been lied to and gotten hurt. Also you have to consider the fact that 9 out of 10 men that think the girl is cheating it's because he himslef is doing it or has done it so he has guilty feelings.
2007-02-23 06:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound cruel or anything, but it really sounds like he is cheating on you and that he figures if he turns the blame around then that gives him the chance to end things with you. Because then he can say that it was you and not him. Even though it is probably the other way around. Girl it sounds like you need to just let him go.
2007-02-23 07:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by spitfirelizard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just depends on how serious you really are.... An idea would be to make a promise to show him you are all his, engagement goes both ways if u are ready for that step. If not DON"T RUSH it but a simple promise ring can do the trick sometimes too.
2007-02-23 06:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by modelingal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
¤ relationship status? - In relationship ¤ Longest relationship? - 3 years, Teenage love. he's married now, we are sturdy buddies ¤ Ever been cheated on? - so far as i know, no longer. ¤ have you ever cheated? - No and that i by no skill will.
2016-09-29 12:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know you're thinking about quitting your job. But DON'T QUIT IT. Instead, tell him he's jealous for no reason and it needs to stop. If it doesn't, you have a real dilemma.
2007-02-23 06:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋