How do I get custody of my God daughter?

Question

I'm 18 yrs old and my 13yr old cousin (Harley) just had a baby(Melissa).In which I am the godmother of. The baby was born on the 10th of Feb and she is a premie. Well the home (trailer) that Harley and Melissa live in is horriable it's almost impossiable to live in. 5 people in a 2 bedroom. To make a long story short. Harley is being neglected(spelled wrong). Her gardian refuses to help. Everything that melissa has, was bought for her from my family Also stuff from Wic.No one wants to help her out because all that everyone cares about is are their drugs and booze. Harley is young yet mature, she stays very stressed out. I help as much as I can. I just don't understand how blood can turn down this 13 yr old child and refuse to help her. Yes she shouldn't even be having sex but I respect her for keeping her baby. How do I get Harley and Melissa to live with me. I dont want it to get ugly. What are the TN laws? (Im from Illinois) Im just stressed and hurt about the whole situation.

Answer 1

There are a few very important factors to consider here, some of which have already been mentioned.

First of all, you need to ask yourself a few questions....

Are you, at 18 years old, mature enough to become a parent to a teenager and an infant? You do realize that's what you'd be doing, right? Not just becoming a parent to the baby, but to it's mother as well. Melissa is not old enough to be a parent, she still needs one!
Do you make enough money to adequately support a 13 year old and an infant and yourself? Please realize that, in giving you custody of these two children, the state would want them EACH to have a bedroom. Can you afford a 3 bedroom house/apartment? Can you afford to feed and clothe them? Does your work schedule permit for being home to help the teen with her homework? Can you afford diapers and wipes and diaper cream and baby wash and toys? Will you be able to pay the electric bill without struggling? The 13 year old is still too young to have the option of quitting school early....Can you afford day care while she is attending school? Do you have a car, and the ability to put gas in it to drive them both to doctors' appointments and such? The teen is too young to sign legal papers pertaining to her baby's care, such as those required for vaccinations at the doctor's office, so you will need to take the baby to those appointments....Does your job permit the ability to take that time off, every month? Vaccinations are given at 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, and 24 months, just to start out with. You'll need that day off every other month at least, not to mention when the baby is sick, you'll be the one taking her to the doctor. Are you going to lose your job when you start taking all these days off? What's the call-in policy at your job? Babies don't give notice when they're going to get sick. In addition, do you plan to have the extra money lying around for emergencies, such as Infant Tylenol, Cold medicines, prescriptions that the insurance doesn't cover? Also, can you properly care for an infant? Do you know how to use a nasal aspirator? Do you have a humidifier? Is the house baby-proofed? Do you have a crib? A stroller? I am assuming the mother already has a car seat.....

There are LOTS of things to consider.

Now, on to the legal aspects.....The first step in removing a child, or children, from an improper home, is to prove that their guardians are unfit. This means you have to prove to a court, or the Department of Children and Families, that the child is being harmed, or is in a possibly harmful situation, is being abused, or neglected. If any of these are the situation, you can make an anonymous report, or leave your name, with DCS/DSS/DCF, and they will investigate. If they agree that Melissa and Harley are being harmed or neglected, they will remove them from the home.

Here's the hard part, they probably aren't going to give them to you. They will be placed in foster care, most likely together, but there is a possibility that Harley will be taken from Melissa, because very few foster families are willing to take teen moms and their babies. Then you would have to petition for custody, but be aware that the court will give Melissa's guardians adequate time to get custody of her again. They will re-investigate the matter every 30-90 days and if the parents clean up their act, the kids go back to them. In the mean time, they may allow the girls to live with you, but you have to be aware that around 50% of children eventually go back to their biological guardians.

Your parents, if they are willing, would have better luck getting custody of Melissa and Harley. Most courts will not, simply WILL NOT, give an 18 year old custody of ONE child, much less two. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it just doesn't happen, and especially not in Tennessee where people would rather glance the other way than admit a problem. You really need someone older, with a more stable home, to get custody of the girls, and then if that person wants to let them live with you, Great!

The other option you have is to request, from Melissa's parents, that perhaps she and the baby would be more comfortable living with you. If they truly don't care about her or the infant, they may just let her go, especially since you're a cousin. I'd try that first, before you go forth with any legal activity.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Just talk to Harley and explain that you would like the both of them to live with you and that she needs to continue her education in order for Melissa to have the life that she deserves. Maybe you could get Harley to grant you temporary custody until she gets her life in check. There is a guge demand for nurses in this country and maybe you can lead her in that direction. Show her web sites where she can get financing for college, like the following:
http://www.scholarshipsexperts.com/
http://www.findtuition.com/
http://www.brokescholar.com/
http://www.gocollege.com/
http://www.fastweb.com/
http://www.careersandcolleges.com/
http://www.schoolsoup.com/
http://www.studentawards.com/
http://www.clubaward.com/

Let Harley know that she dosen't have to have a man to support her and the only true freedom that she will ever have will be from finishing school and choosing a career that pays well enough for her and her child to live the life that they would like to live. Good Luck!!!
You are only 18, what about you and your own education, you can't save the whole world, but if the two of you could pool your resources, maybe you can pull it off

Answer 3

The Tn laws Get some pictures of the place on the inside and have your cousin stay with you call DSS and tell them whats going on and send them over there while the child is with you you can go down to the court house and get a order of protection stating that your cousin is living in terrible conditions and the baby and her cannot stay there and petition the court to allow them to live with you
They will give you an emergency hearing and you can show your pictures and state your case and if you got DSS to back you that is even better. Been there done that i had to get custody of my grandchild because of horrible living conditions.And this was in TN in Shelby County case was heard in Memphis.

Answer 4

Be very careful, do not get yourself into any hardships by trying to take on the world without support.
Shouldn't the 13 year old be old enough to make her own decision who she wants to live with? I know in La. as stated before after you have had a child you can be emancipated I was when I was 16 yrs old. After which I was able to get housing and other things I needed until I was stable enough to work for me and my daughter. went to college and everything. Don't just jump right into things get some legal advice as well has some advice from dss.
Good luck

Answer 5

The laws vary from state to state, but there is no way you're going to get custody of your Goddaughter. Every state in the union holds it inviolate that the biological parents have to forfeit their rights in order for a third party to assume parental control. However, Harley can petition the court to live with you as a minor in the interests of her baby. In Michigan, we have "Friend of the Court" which helps people in situations like this -- do they have anything like that in Tennessee? Try calling your local district court and see if they can steer you in the right direction.

Answer 6

Do you want custody or just for the two of them to live with you?
Do you live independently? Can you support the three of you? are you ready to be a parent to a 13year old and new born.?

I am honestly not sure of the laws, but you need to consider those questions.

I THINK that a minor who has a child becomes emancipated. Look into that. If that is true, then they just need to pack up and come to you.

If you want to be the guardean, I suggest you get a lawyer to help. It will be hard to do.

Answer 7

Well, I am from Louisiana. This is what I would do. Make sure you have enough room for them and make enough money to help support them because the obviously can't suppor themselves. If you want the child for yourself to take care of then you need to be a detective. Take pictures of the unfit home and get the girl or boy on tape saying things that ar unfit. Get anything you can on them and keep it secret. Then politely ask the girl if you can take care of the baby and state you will not keep her from seeing the baby. If they rufuse then call social services and then bring them to court. You must have good proof... it's very hard to get a child taken away from parents who are unfit and have no morals. I know I have tried.

Answer 8

have u talked to the ppl Harley lives with and discussed it with them?