i work a lot and when i am off i like to drink sometimes too much. it bothers my wife. should she let me?

Question

i am a good huband and father, but some times i like to drink. my wife hates to see me drunk. should she understand that it is my way of unwinding. i am by no means a drunk. i am very responsible i never miss work i like to stay with my family but sometimes i do get drunk. i am never abusive or mean i just get stupid. should i ignore her or should i be more responsibe. it is a major problem with us. i feel that she should understand that i enjoy drinking and she thinks that i should not drink so much

Answer 1

ok. this is definitely an important topic, and something u guys need to get thru together, and come up w/ a solution.

first of all, you should not ignore her. as your wife, she deserves respect, as do you. therefore, u cannot just "ignore" things that make her sad, or mad, or upset. u need to address it because then that VALIDATES that her feelings are important to you, even if u don't Agree with them.

second of all, you admitted that u get "stupid" when u are drunk. and that is not a very attractive quality in anyone right? so it's not like ur wife doesn't have a valid point that she is given the Opportunity to look down on u, feel that u act stupid, rude, obnoxious, under the influence, and therefore does not like it. =T i mean obviously it's not like u can just stop, cuz u do need to unwind. that is understandable..and i'm sure she validates ur reasoning that u work hard, and need to unwind. according to ur words, she thinks that u should not "drink so much".. not quit drinking altogether. so she is not trying to stop u completely.

is there Any way u can find another type of activity to unwind??? ur going to have to compromise. perhaps u can get a baby sitter, and go out for dinner or ice cream together to unwind? or walk in the park together? does she ever drink w/ you? perhaps u can stay home and have a few drinks, but not enough for u to get drunk?

remember, are u setting a good example for the kids? as a good husband?? don't forget, that the way u act, the way u treat her, is going to prove whether or not she has a good husband or not. for example, my boyfriend has messed up quite a few times, and the first thing in my head is "i can find someone who will treat me better than this". and i told him, don't Ever make me feel as though i should go out and find someone else. cuz then it would be His fault, not Mine, for leaving the relationship. =T.

u got Married...and that is a vow. if u want to follow that vow thru, u gotta do what makes your Wife happy, and what is good for your Children... not *just* what makes YOU happy. it is a Unit now.. u have to do what is best for all of you. if u honestly tell her that u need a night out w/ the guys, and maybe u might get drunk w/ them, but u won't come home until u sober up, or something like that. u know? but don't take advantage of it and stay out w/ them all night unless u have an understanding..

long story short, keep her the most important person in ur life, and u will be able to find a solution. good luck

Answer 2

Maybe what is bothering her is that you act stupid when you are drunk. Getting drunk when you are single is not looked upon badly; but when you get drunk when you are married and have kids - you've got a problem. If you want to unwind find some activity that will let you relax without making you look the fool. There is nothing wrong with moderate drinking but using it as a way to relax is never a good path to start on - it always gets progressively worse.

Answer 3

When she is in a sweet mood is when you should open diaglog and have that talk. try it. It's not fair to have someone toss that CRAP over your head. It should always be the last option appearely it's the first option in her head. (red flag) sounds like you are communicating with her but you can't make her listen but you can try. nag her about it. let her get mad keep stating in a calm voice that problems won't fix themselfs and your making an attempt to try to fix it. and if she wants to flee or run or get out that this is her freaking chance because you want to work it out and if she don't then maybe you take the next step. sorry dude!

Answer 4

Your family needs you sober. You are indulging yourself at their expense. Find another way to unwind, there are thousands of ways. The fact it has become a major problem is a huge clue you need to stop drinking.

Answer 5

If it is a major problem between you, it sounds like you may have a drinking problem.

How often do you get "drunk"?

You may want to do some research online about what is considered "dangerous drinking".

Answer 6

if you see that it is putting a strain on your marriage then maybe you should drink in moderation, it is good that your a good father and provider and good husband, but when you are drunk you become a person that is no good,that is just like doing a dr. jekyll and mr. hyde,slow down before you lose what means so much to you

Answer 7

Moderation is the key. Happy wife, happy Life. Try limiting binges to the weekend (if you must) then only a couple drinks on week nights.

Answer 8

If anything, your wife should help you use alcohol in moderation. Or better yet, abstain from it all together.

Answer 9

no she should not sounds like you need to get your priorities straight

Answer 10

SHOULD SHE LET YOU????

She should let you grow a pair