Ive been with my boyfriend for a month "officially" and things are going great. Im 23 y/o and want to get with someone who eventually wants to get married and have kids. My bf is 30 and just got divorced. His current plans are to buy a house. Today i told him we can possibly buy one together when i finised school but he said no that he wants to buy one on his own. He said that he would really have to think twice before getting married again but that if id like i could move into his home when he buys it. Whats the point? Should i be mad at he fact he's not thinking about anything further down the road or should i give it time? what should i do?? please help!! i feel as if he's with me for the moment after him saying this. We also talked about having kids in 2 years yet he doesnt want to own a house together or get married!!! ?? please help!!!!!1
2007-02-23 06:36:11 · 19 answers · asked by melyssa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've only been going out for a month and he's newly divorced....??? My goodness! Give him some time. If he just got a divorce, I don't blame him for not wanting to jump back into a marriage. Buying a house is a huge responsibility and commitment too. Don't feel hurt, just give him time.
2007-02-23 06:42:16 · answer #1 · answered by Adara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a month you guys have talked about marriage and kids? I think it's to soon for that but if you both are comfortable with it then cool. The house thing, give him time....it's a big big commitment to buy a house together. YOu said 2 years down the road you would have kids. Well that is 2 years away the house thing is much sooner....he just wants to make sure things will work this time around I'm sure. He may change his mind but if not then what's the big deal if he wants you to move in anyway.
Make sure you lay out your wants and needs and explain how important those things are to you. Communicate. Maybe he will come around eventually.
2007-02-23 14:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should give him a break and be patient. Now, about the house and marriage. I think you shouldn't move in to a house that is only his. You are not going to be able to say "our" house because its really not the house of you both, its HIS house. About marriage, I think its too soon for him to think about getting married again. My brother had a messy divorced and is very much in love with his GF but he told her that he wasn't going to get married ever again so it depends. What do you want out of this relationship? Prioritize your needs because you are very young.
2007-02-23 14:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by EV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been together officially for one month, just give him some time! He's probably feeling a little insecure and cautious because of his divorce. Maybe he doesn't want to get too serious too fast. Just give it some time. Hope things work out well & Good luck!
2007-02-23 14:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by S. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that you'r lucky to find someone willing to allow you to stay with them, without depending on you for everything. His independence, in wishing to buy the house himself, may have just been a dream he now has the chance to fulfill. And after a divorce, a heart often becomes frozen.
Maybe you'll be the one to thaw it out.........
2007-02-23 14:43:13 · answer #5 · answered by Deonte S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's too soon after his divorce for him to think about settling down again, and your needs are that you're 23 and want the permanent thing.
You have to either be happy with what he wants to give you or bail. You can't make him want to run down the aisle again. Think of him too.
2007-02-23 14:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is give your boyfriend some time to get over a messy divorce. Right now he's enjoying his divorce freedom and the bad memories. Like most women we tend to rush into relationship without giving us time to heal for previous relationship and bring baggage into a new relationship. Men minds work different from ours. So give him time and give your relationship time to grow.
2007-02-23 14:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by mzalizza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong to feel that way. It's way to soon to be talking to him about marriage. If you were together for a few yrs now, then my answer would be different. I think he is just being honest with you, so be patient and give him some time.
2007-02-23 14:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just got divorced?
can you blame him for not wanting to jump into something like marriage and co-owning a home ?
give him some time..
he'll probably have an easier time getting a house without you..as your still in school... and probably your credit isn't as good as his.. and that could hinder him getting one
2007-02-23 14:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but maybe you shouldn't be with him. If he really loves you, then he would want that same life with you that you want with him. Maybe it's too early to tell. Give him some more time, he might turn around. If not, there's other fish in the sea. (:
2007-02-23 14:42:25 · answer #10 · answered by ladyeilwynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋