We have been dating for almost seven months. I have feelings and miss him when we are apart for more than a week. I expressed my feelings and his response was "don't miss me?" I want to get married and have children (eventually), one day he says he does too and the next he doesn't want any of it...
I am at a loss and am not sure where to go from here.
2007-02-23 06:30:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Firstly, His response "Dont miss me" is not a negative thing. He doesn't want you to feel bad & he knows you're probably a little insecure in the realtionship. He just wants you to be a strong person & be capable of spending a week without missing him too much. Please don't misunderstand this statement.
You're putting too much pressure on the guy to "meet your needs". Express these feelings about your future to close girl friends, have it filter through them and then let your man know how you feel. He's been with you for 7 months so he obviously cares about you, he's just not ready to hear stuff about kids and family. I know I'd be freaked out if my boyfriend had started talking about kids and getting married (after only 7 months). Just give him some space. Let him make his own decisions.
It's perfectly normal that you're missing him after a week. But when you finally see him don't act needy and desperate. Instability and neediness is unattractive to everyone, your boyfriend is no acception. You're pushing him away when you act this way, although your intentions are to bring him closer.
Please remember that men and women are very different. Most women need to talk about their problems to solve them and feel better, while most men need to work their problems out in their heads and on their own. When we try to force the poor guy to empathize with us and help us with our problems, this pushes him away. This makes him feel as though he's not making us happy or satisfying us, so he starts disconnecting himself. So to make up for those times when we've burdened him with our troubles, we need to appreciate his listening & remind him that it has nothing to do with him.
Treat your man right and he'll return the favor. Give him space, show him that you're independent and strong, and he'll want to pull closer. You need to spend more time with your girl friends & give him space before you do anything else. Build yourself up, become a stable person, and then approach your boyfriend again.
2007-02-23 06:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by aussie_gurl118 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
......it's normal to wanna miss someone sweetie...I know first hand how you feel. If you two don't see things eye to eye right now Hun?...you probably never will be seeing anything together seriously. Communication will be the key to everything in any relationship darling. You're neither right nor wrong here...and neither is he. You two are simply not compatible. You want marriage and kids...and he doesn't. What's not so easy to figure out here really? I say take a cooling off period...and date a few more guys before you start thinking about settling down. This guy still sounds like he's still unsure about himself and this relationship with you. After seven months if he hasn't figured out a few things for himself with you...then he probably never will. Get a new boyfriend sweetie...and go slowly with your ideas here too. Not every guy wants to get married and have children right from the get go. Give the idea some time to sink in. If it doesn't...let go and move onward. Not everyone is gonna wanna give you what you want in these regards here darling. Find one that does!
2007-02-23 14:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by scott s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time to throw in the towel. You need to let him go. He has let you know that he is no longer interested in you when he said "don't miss me". I know it's hard, but be thankful that you found this out after only seven months and not after marriage and a few kids. You are in a grieving process and you are holding on to the hope that it will work out. It won't. Again, it's hard, but don't contact him. That's the only way you'll be able to get over it, because at this point the hurt is still too new and real for you to handle being around him or talking to him without getting your hopes up. I'm very sorry and wish you all the best.
2007-02-23 14:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know from experience that your heart will tell you when is the right time. Most of the time the problem is that we do not want to listen delaying the hurt or hoping we are wrong.
2007-02-23 14:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hold out and expect the worst. If you can handle the notion of being without that person, you can speak without fear and lay things out on the table. Lack of communication kills everything sometimes. If nothing else, and you're unhappy, you can always be looking for someone else.
2007-02-23 14:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mike C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he isn't ready for a commitment.
What I've learned is that most people hang onto relationships logner than they should. If you are thinking of leaving, don't think it, do it.
2007-02-23 14:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on now - life is too short to waste years waiting for someone to change.
2007-02-23 14:36:12 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump his ***. don't look back. "don't miss me" is something a person says if they don't love you anymore. I know it hurts to hear that, but the sooner you cry and get it over with, the sooner you'll have room in your life/apartment/heart for someone who WANTS you to miss him
2007-02-23 14:35:26 · answer #8 · answered by beatrice 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Time to go and you know it! really, it is hard to face. I know.
2007-02-23 14:35:56 · answer #9 · answered by ImSpoilednLoveit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart it will lead you in the right direction!~Alison~
2007-02-23 14:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by luvracin_ia2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋