I feel so much guilt...what should I do?

Question

I was delivering the mail for my department...and saw a letter from a professor. I guessed that it was a recommendation letter for somebody else, and for some reason, I opened it. Just out of curiosity. Then I taped it back together. I feel so ashamed. It's not like I hid/broke anything, but I feel so sick in my stomach right now. It was a positive recommendation letter, but I just don't know. Just a normal letter. It was not worth it. I can do one of two things

1) nothing
2) go back to the mail room, pick it up, and place it in a better, unripped, untapped envelope.

I can't tell...because if they ask me my motive, I won't even know! Also, I will probably be kicked out of school. Guilt is eating me up, and I can't tell. What should I do?

Answer 1

Well, here is the thing. If it was an actual mailed letter, you committed mail fraud by intentionally opening someone elses mail.

I don't know what your position is, but if you work in the mail room or your regular job is to deliver mail, admitting to this breach of ethical behavior could get you fired. If you are just a student helper this could get you kicked out of school.

Unfortunately, I have to recommend that you do not tell anyone what you did. If you can pick up the letter and put it in a new envelope, you should do that. If someone asks you what happened, unfortunatly lying and saying you accidentally ripped it would be the best way to go.

But you must realize that though nothing was "hid or broken" you violated the law, most likely written or unwritten rules of the college, and the privacy of at least three parties (the professor, the person who the recommendation was for, and the person the letter was going to).

Feeling "guilty" won't get you anywhere at this point. What you have to do is accept that what you did was very wrong and realize you can't do that again. Your phrase "just a normal letter. It was not worth it" makes me feel like you think that if it had been some juicy peice of gossip it would have been worth it.

I am very sorry if this sounds harsh! I do not mean to be unsympathetic. Perhaps you should think about taking an ethics class in the very near future.

Answer 2

Do not worry about it. It was a positive recommendation letter, not really a big deal. Professors write that all the time. Let it go, don't talk about it (especially to your peers), and do not do it again! That was one boneheaded move on your part, but it won't kill you.

No body would probably ask you about it. However, if a university official did, like your boss, better confess. Be honest and contrite about it. Fortunately, the letter you opened did not contain confidential or serious information. So, the worst that you would likely get is a stiff reprimand and/or a firing.

Now, the best and safest move for you would be to just confess what you did to your immediate supervisor right now. Again, you would likely get a serious reprimand or even get fired, but that's a lot better than possibly getting kicked out--not that you would or should be kicked out for what you did.

Unless you have committed that act more than once before. If that is the case, then you have a more serious problem than what you presented here.

In conclusion, you can: Talk to your supervisor,
Talk to a psychologist/therapist,
Talk to your campus ombudsman,
Talk to an attorney (if you know one),
You can even talk to a priest (if you're so
inclined).
But whatever you do, DO NOT, I repeat
NEVER mention it to your friends,
classmates, dorm pals, boy/girlfriend,
coworkers, and other students on
campus.

Answer 3

It's probably too late to go to the mail room now.

It's just curiousity. 96% of the people on the planet would be dying to know what was in there. Some would do just what you did, others would be able to put it down and walk away. I think more could walk away than open it but that would be an intereting test.

I think the point it that it's normal to want to know everything that's going on and if it doesn't hurt anyone, who cares? But if you're bothered by the way you feel now, learn from this one and work harder on self control and discipline so that you can walk away next time. Oh, you'll want to look but now that you know how it makes you feel, you'll learn to walk away from temptation. Good luck.

Answer 4

Curiosity got the cat! Its the privacy act thing that has everyone with an line..."I cant do that, its a privacy thing!" or "He has a right to privacy" even though he could not write a check or be on his own...I have been through it...
Unless called to your attention...I would wait it out...this would be punishment enough? Do you normally put letters in other envelopes?
By the sounds of your letter you ripped open the letter. Definate invasion of privacy...hmmmmm

Answer 5

the fact u feel guilty about it shows ur a good person, where i'm from, bodies drop and no one cares, people would rather just forget it happens...but if u can't shake this feeling of guilt, tell the person who's letter it was that u read it and ur guilty conscience led u to do so, doing this will make u feel better and if u get kicked out of school then that's what happens (but i dont think it will)

Answer 6

you have to decide how far you want to take this. it was irresponsible for you to open someone else's mail, and also against the law. you could turn yourself in, or you could learn from this mistake, to make sure it doesn't happen again. personally, i think you will be punished in time, being nosy can get you into all sorts of trouble. at least you feel guilty about it, as you should. you are in a trusted position, and are NOT to be trusted. good luck with that.

Answer 7

You should try and figure out why you did it, think long and hard on that. If you can figure out why you did it, you can change the behavior within yourself that caused yourself to compulsively open someone else's mail. if you can do that, consider yourself forgiven.

Answer 8

Turn yourself in for tampering with the mail. Its a federal offense.

Answer 9

do not worry when there is god and in my opinion you must not do anything and act to all that you have done nothing. do not let guilt eat you let you eat the guilt be confident as there is nothing happened

Answer 10

You must confess, how typical of a cop out to whine about your obvious guilt, but not have the balls to do what must be done to rectify the situation. You sound like an evil human being.