My girlfriend has never really had a boyfriend before me. In her last year of college, she was obsessed with a guy named Frank. Frank led her on and then turned her down on the last day of school. This guy is always on her mind as a mental obsession. All of her friends were in on trying to hook the two people up, but it still failed.
Today, I messaged the guy on instant messenger. I pretended I was a SPAM bot and apparently he thought I was someone else. He then messaged me from a different screen name and we talked (with me, not knowing who he thinks I am, guessing wildly at what the other guy thinks I would be answering). Long story short, it turns out that her obsession is a homosexual. He is really nerdy and has been "being mean" to girls as a sort of revenge of the nerds in person.
Question is, should I tell her all of this?
2007-02-23 06:00:47 · 14 answers · asked by fdsafd s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well she might look at it like you are intruding in her "love" life and personal affairs possibly. You can tell her, maybe this will be what it takes to snap her out of her obsession. You might lose her too for meddling when you show her the proof ... you do have proof don't you? You saved the IM conversations and such?
If you are tired of hearing about Frank, tell her, show her and be prepared for anything from her. Or you could let it go and let her keep having these delusions that will hinder your relationship with her because she's stuck on Frank.
Or you could just dump her and find someone else that doesn't have this problem being obsessed with someone other than you.
2007-02-23 06:27:44 · answer #1 · answered by Dark Chyld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sounds like you are jealous of him. She can admire him for whatever reason she wants to. Most times women have another man there mind is really thinking about. Secret crush, and that is OK. It helps her not settle on something less than perfect for her. Just as many men have women they admire. She chooses to make this known to you because she trusts you. And you are loosing her trust by vengefully and sneakily trying to unmask his faults. If you tell her, either she will not believe you or she will be angry with you for acting like an azz.
2007-02-23 14:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by R♥bin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all sounds a little immature to me. I wouldn't tell her and I wouldn't keep doing stuff that marks me as immature. If she's with you and not him, what does it matter? Most girls don't find immaturity or jealousy very attractive. There again, if she loves you, you shouldn't really keep anything from her...nor should you do things that you might need to keep from her.
Just my own opinion of the situation. You asked our opinion, remember!
2007-02-23 14:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Sweetmusic ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Never! Tell her that her love is hers. Love lives within us. Sometimes an object like a person is given credit for love, but love starts with the person who loves. Her love is hers, and your love is yours.
Tell her no because what you did to her ex. was wrong, and she will not respect you if you tell her. And she probably won't believe you anyway. Tell her you love her, and tell her why. Give her flowers while you are at it!
2007-02-23 14:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by zclifton2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have her now, who cares about the past? You are overboard.
But you did it anyway. So, don't tell her, though it's good to have this on the back burner. Just never tell her how you got the info.
2007-02-23 14:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd rather know a guy was gay than just not interested in me. I would tell her - esp. since it will clear her mind of him.
2007-02-23 14:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by carpediemamt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!! haha. Thats great but maybe you should just let it go. Only for the fact that it might upset her that you would do that to him. Now you know you have nothing to worry about right? :)
2007-02-23 14:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by lethalx 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you have too much time on your hands.
I wouldn't tell for fear of looking foolish and immature in front of your girlfriend.
2007-02-23 14:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES! Unless you want her to always be a victim to 'why didn't he like me!' get the guy out of her head and out of your bed with the two of you!
2007-02-23 14:06:19 · answer #9 · answered by Gaye 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why not? Maybe now she can forget him. Even years from now, you'll still have something good to tease her about.
2007-02-23 14:05:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋