He is turning 5 years old and pretty much has an accident everyday, both number 1 and number 2. Mother is aware and since he is not allowed to have candy, we reward him with stickers when he goes potty. I ask him several times throught the day to go potty and he usually cries that he can't. Sometimes I make him anyway if its been a while since he's gone. I think he plays too much and doesn't want to... I think he is a little too old to be having this many 'accidents' and EXPECIALLY number 2! any advice???
2007-02-23 05:40:10 · 10 answers · asked by blah 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Maybe he has a medical problem. I'd suggest to the mom that she talk with the pediatrician about this matter. If the child has fecal incontinence, a doctor can determine the cause and treatment. Fecal incontinence can occur in children because of a birth defect or disease, but in most cases it's because of chronic constipation.
Potty-trained children often get constipated simply because they refuse to go to the bathroom. The problem might stem from embarrassment over using a public toilet or unwillingness to stop playing and go to the bathroom. But if the child continues to hold in stool, the feces will accumulate and harden in the rectum. The child might have a stomachache and not eat much, despite being hungry. And when he or she eventually does pass the stool, it can be painful, which can lead to fear of having a bowel movement.
A child who is constipated may soil his or her underpants. Soiling happens when liquid stool from farther up in the bowel seeps past the hard stool in the rectum and leaks out. Soiling is a sign of fecal incontinence. Try to remember that thechild did not do this on purpose. He or she cannot control the liquid stool and may not even know it has passed.
2007-02-23 05:45:43 · answer #1 · answered by HoneyBunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First if this is something that happens even at home, the parents need to take him to see a doctor to make sure there isn't something medically wrong. If there is nothing wrong than you are on the right track by making him go and "try" on a regular basis. Talk to him and tell him why he needs to use the potty, ask him questions why he's cant make it to the bathroom. Then if there are still problems (with the parents permission of course) make HIM clean it. If he has to clean it everyday it may only take a few days for him to realize he doesn't like it. Rewarding him for going is good, but there also needs to be some consicuence if he has an "accident" everyday. He is old enough to understand what is going on.
2007-02-23 14:00:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son didn't get potty trained till he was 4. I was about to go crazy. I'd just keep telling the mother...there could be several reasons why he's not going to the bathroom in the toilet.
1. His mother isn't working with him at home.
2. He is just not emotionally mature enough.
3. He does it to get attention.
I read in an article that if they werent potty trained by 4 1/2 you needed to take them to a doctor. I use to work in a daycare years ago and took care of 4 year olds, luckly they were all potty trained. I would just make him go to the bathroom every hour if you can...I know that can be hard if you have several other children to take care of too. Good Luck
2007-02-23 13:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The crying tells me that he is reacting to the pressure. He feels pressured and incompetent. He has abandoned trying because he feels doomed to fail. He is too old so that means they are being caused by a medical or psychological issue. He needs to be seen and in the meantime, he should not be pressured. I would have "big boy potty time" where all the children are expected to try and use the potty and wash their hands. He should be included but no special deal should be made about him. If he really can't keep his pants clean, I would go with Pullups and make him responsible for cleaning himself up (with adult supervision of course). It can be frustrating to be surprised with a whole bunch of extra work when taing care of kids but he is obviusly not responding to your teaching techniques. Leave him be for a couple of months and then you, mom and doctor can look at a new strategy and approach him with a fresh optimism.
2007-02-23 14:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times it is what the parents are not doing.....more than likely you are doing everything that you can possibly do, which really you shouldn't have to, since he is a little too old to be having that many accidents. If I were you, I would see if you could have a little meeting with his parents to let them know that they need to be on the same page as you are with him when he is with them, it needs to be consistent or theis will keep happening. You need to be firm and let mom or dad or both know that throughout the day he needs to be reminded that it is important to use the bathroom. If they keep up with this when he is at home, more likely he will do better at daycare with you, since you are reminding him! Good Luck!
2007-02-23 13:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by kaelynnsmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know he is a big boy and Big boys do not wet their pants. Do not make it look like it is a shame to make mistakes.Turn going to potty into a game. Try a cute underpants like Caillou etc.
Let him stay with the wet pants for a few minutes (20) so he can feel the discomfort. Let him use the wash room every 2 hours. Turn on the tap.it will help him go. Do not beat him!!
Read How to talk to kids so they will talk and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber.
Good luck. I sympathise with your trouble.
2007-02-23 13:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by shabin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had this problem with our middle child, only he wasn't using the potty at all. It turned out that he had a food allergy (to a very common food) that was causing his stomach and intestines to swell up, keeping his muscles from properly forming, and keeping him from feeling that he needed to go. As soon as we discovered the allergy, he was fully potty trained within 6 months.
I suggest pull-ups.
2007-02-23 13:45:14 · answer #7 · answered by mamasquirrel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally children with a medical problem either pee or poop their pants--not both. Also, the crying when he can't potty is a symptom as well. Those symptoms combined often lead to abuse. I know it's hard to think about but those are classic signs.
2007-02-23 13:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to the parents def. 5 is wayyy to old to be doing that, there could be something wrong with the kid, just think he will be going to kindergarden soon, he cant be goin to the bathroom in his pants at school
2007-02-23 13:46:24 · answer #9 · answered by meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the mother isnt trying to correct the problem tell her you can no longer keep the child til he is trained theres no excuse at this age. when he goes to kindergarten this fall he will have to be trained
2007-02-23 13:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋