It can be dirty or not. Dirty jokes are the best though!
2007-02-23 05:33:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
doctor tells man, "i've got bad news about your wife....she has alzhiemer desease and AIDS"
man says "jesus, what does this mean for us"
doctor say's " well, if she finds her way home......don't f*** her"
2007-02-23 05:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by dogpoundcakemix 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When my little brother was 6, he had a favorite joke that was really bad. But he loved telling it and thought it was the funniest joke ever. Everytime he would try and attempt to tell it he would break down laughing every time he started to speak. It always made my Mom, my Sister and me laugh so hard because it was adorable. The joke went:
Why did the ant cross the road...
because it was stapled to the chicken.
I know I know, it's weird. But he was 6, and a boy. Haha.
2007-02-23 05:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by MrsalmostMom 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
2007-02-23 06:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this is long, but it's SOOOOOOOOOO funny!
So there's an American guy and his foreign assistant (this isn't meant to be racist or anything, but he HAS to be foreign). The American guy gives him some money and says "Get me a glass, a bucket, and whatever else you want with the rest."
So he goes to the grocery store and says "Can you get me a a**?"
"A what?!"
"A a**!"
"Oh, you mean a GLASS. Here you go!"
Then he goes to the hardware store and says "Can you get me a f*** it?"
"I'm sorry...a what?"
"A f*** it!"
"Oh, you mean a BUCKET. There you are!"
Finally, he goes the the pet store and says "Can you get me a c**k and spank-it"
"Dude, I REALLY hope you mean Cocker Spaniel."
He gets his dog and leaves the store. However, the dog runs away! He sees and elderly woman next to him and says
"Can you grab my a** and f*** it while I get a hold of my c**k and spank it?"
2007-02-23 05:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by booda2009 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I was walking on the beach and heard a girl crying.I walked up to her and noticed she didn't have any arms or legs. I asked her whats wrong honey?She said, I'm 18 yrs old and never been kissed before. I figured what the hell and gave her a kiss. I started walking away and I heard her crying again. I asked her what's wrong? She said I'm 18 yrs old and never been fu**ed before. So I picked her up threw her in the ocean and said Now your fu**ed!
2007-02-23 06:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Alright, there was two naked people a man and a woman, they were playing a split screen rally game. The woman said to the man "I'll be on the bottom, you be on top"
There were 3 men who 4got to pack dinner and get lost in the forest. They spot a dead man on the floor. So one man decides, Okay we'll eat lunch- out of who we support.
1st man:
"I support liverpool"
So he gets the liver to eat
2nd man:
"I support Manchester"
So he gets part of the man to eat
3rd man:
"Umm... Arsenal, but I'm not hungry!"
2007-02-23 05:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I dont have any jokes in particular, but I love jokes about peoples race, whether it be white, black, mexican, indian, chinese, or whatever, thay are the funniest!!!
2007-02-23 05:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's just a wind, but it's so long-lasting;
It's just a dream, but it's so vivid;
You hang your head without saying a word;
But I can't keep my mouth shut.
Don't you think I don't know...
That fart belongs to you.
And you still denying by reading this...
2007-02-23 05:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
A Priest walks into a bar
A Rabbi walks into a bar
A Buddhist monk ducks and misses the bar.
2007-02-23 05:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by zaphodsclone 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Man walks in to the kitchen with a duck under his arm. His wife is in there cooking dinner.
He says
"This is the pig I F*** when you piss me off."
His wife looks up and says
"That's a duck."
He says
"I wasn't talking to you."
2007-02-23 05:36:47 · answer #10 · answered by the beet 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋