I asked a question earlier about child molestation???

Question

I'm not sure if i was molested as a child but my sister as well as I suspect it due to certain things i remember as a child, certain things my sister remembers..I can really only remember getting locked in a dark room with him in their, I can remember him hitting me and threatening me ect and his wife(my grandma) going to her room everytime and crying when i would come out..I was about 4 around the time when he would watch us, I remember never wanting to go around him and being afraid of him..I am now 20 he is dead and so is his wife, my father is no longer around which was his son and My sister and i have talked to my mother about this and she was so upset to hear these things and cried and told me she should have listened when we would tell her please don't make us go and all she could say was she is so sorry..
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SIGNS adults show when they were molested as a child??
I still think about it to this day and that was 17 years ago, i do not trust men at all!

Answer 1

Girl, I'm really sorry about what's happening to you and I am sorry to say that this is probably not the right place to ask questions like that. BUT...if you really feel that you have been physically or sexually molested as a little girl, then you need to talk to a professional. I calculated that you must be about 21 years old by now and I am sure you are at school or working. So, I am also sure that at your job place or at school they provide services like that, or can at least refer you to a specialist. Do not put it off and go talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist immediately (they can tell you if your sensations are real and can even use hypnosis to help you remember)! and as far as the symptoms go, you can research it online also or find a support group. But do it now so you can get your life back! Good luck!

Answer 2

9 times out of 10, if you suspect it, it probably happened and your mind is blocking it out. This is protection mechanism that our mind does to try and protect us from trauma. Just the fact that you are asking, is reason enough to believe that you possibly could have been. I was abused and molested as a child by my stepfather. And I had years of both individual and group therapies. And it did help. But, be prepared that what you remember is just the tip of the iceberg. And usually there is alot buried deep underneath.
I know you are asking what kinds of symtoms or signs does a person show when they have been molested. Right? And the answer to that is as complicated as the different levels of abuse can be. And how they effect each person.
You could be very depressed, you could be very afraid of sex, or way into it, even loose. You could get addictive behaviors like, alcohol, drugs, smoking or hurting yourself.
You could be very insecure and shy, or very over the top, wanting attention, thinking you don't deserve to be loved and deserve bad relationships because you don't deserve to be happy. You could be an over achiever or under achiever. You could feel like you can't trust anyone. With you, where your grandmother allowed it, even not trusting women. And are extremely hurt, maybe more that normal when a women betrays your trust than when a man does. Or the other way around.
I think you get my point, you could have a multitude of symptoms that only a professional may be able to determine and bring out for you to heal. This is something that if you are repressing memories, which I think you are, could be too hard to deal with and heal with alone. You are going to need help. A therapist. Preferrably one that specializes in this area.
Also, most communities have Mental Health services that are based on you ability to pay. So if you can't afford it, don't worry, there is still help out there. You just have reach out for it. And know that it could be a long process. These things usually don't resolve themselves quickly. And not without alot of tears, and talking over and over about the same things. And being shocked about new things that come out. But, it's all worth it. You need to cleanse yourself of this and heal so that you don't have any more side effects in your future. Even then there is no guarantee. But, you have to start somewhere. Just get some help. It will make you feel better. You and your sister are not alone. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have to agree with the other posters that you and your sister should seek professional help together to figure out what happened in that room. It could be that your grandfather had just beaten you but more than likely he went further than that.

I can list the feelings that I have towards men after my experience but honestly no two people are going to be alike. The thing is, I remember what happened to me right down to what everyone was wearing that day. You don't so you may not feel the same.

If you aren't trusting men and you feel extremely nervous when left alone in a room with one then that could be a indication. I know my mom has a similar case as you but the person was either her father or her uncle. She knows she was raped and molested as a toddler but she can't see the person's face in her memories and she had blocked those up until after having kids herself. Then they came flooding back, but she isn't sure which one was the person who did it.

If your gut tells you something happened then you should seek help and talk to a therapist. Have your sister go with you because whether you realize it or not her and your cousin might be blaming themselves for what happened to you. On one hand they would be happy it wasn't them and feel guilty for that but on the other they would be thinking if it had been them then maybe he would have left you alone. Either way, go talk to a professional. If you have posted this question here on the internet...chances are you're remembering more than you want to admit. Good luck as I said in my other post!

Answer 4

Never having gone through anything like this myself, I couldn't tell you. After reading your question though, it does sound like you were molested. I have to say that men are wonderful. To have a healthy, loving relationship with a man is a beautiful thing. I think you should definately seek counseling - both you and your sister -so that you can not only get to the bottom of what happened to you (counseling can uncover what was hidden), but can heal and move on. When you say you don't trust men at all, that makes me so sad. There are so many wonderful men in this world, and there could be one out there who could be the right one for you. Yes, there are a lot of jerks out there who can't be trusted, but the same could be said for women. You just have to find the right man. You will know who you can trust and who you can't, and will learn to trust your own instincts with regard to that, when you get help from a trained counselor who specializes in situations such as yours. I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

I agree with those who recommend seeing a therapist - particularly one who deals with abuse and neglect issues. There are many self help books on the subject, but it seems that this may be a burden too large to bear alone. Sometimes, it seems there is so much focus on recovering the actual memory - the specifics details, when in fact, it may have been so traumatic, that it did not "print" into your brain - it is your mind's way of protecting itself, when the fears/traumas are too great to bear.
Perhaps the best way to "figure things out" is to explore your feelings -- when you look back at that time in your life, what did it feel like when you realized you were having to go to that place. Look at all the different aspects --- if it was dread - how did you experience dread - for some, their heart may pound faster, for others, they might get very anxious, nervous, etc. Try to remember the ways those feelings felt - in your body, in your mind, and try to relate them in the here and now. What sort of things in your adult life cause your body and mind to feel the same way.
Then you might think to yourself, if you were let's say a mom to a little girl, who you saw feelings those feelings - how would you treat her? How would you parent her, take care of her, soothe her fears, calm her. What do you think she needed. Write all that down. Think about it, draw about it. Imagine providing that care to her.
It seems that so much focus is on the "details" but the details aren't as important as being able to heal the feelings. If you take the time to take care of that suffering little girl, she gets what she needs, and the details aren't important. You see, as a little girl, if sexual abuse did occur, you wouldn't be able to understand it. It was out of anything you could possibly imagine, because that is not normal, or stuff a little kid is supposed to understand. What they do understand is uncomfortable feelings. If they can be relieved, then the little one gets what he/she needs, and they begin to feel better. The brain didn't let those memories imprint for a reason. It was a very wise, and protective part of yourself that was providing you something you didn't know you needed. Thank goodness for that. I wish you well.

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to pose this to a psychiatrist (or psychologist). I was molested but remember all of the events surrounding it. Once you're an adult, you learn to put things into perspective, so it has a different impact on you than it did, say, when you were a teenager. Mine involved a person with the church, so it may have contributed to my disdain of organized religion. But, regarding symptoms? Can't help you there.

Answer 7

that really does show that you sure molested as a child that is the first reminder that comes to your mind and some one should have stopped him when he did moleste or your sister and i have no respect for anyone who molested any child at all and very good luck to you in the future and not men are all bad just because he was a sicko

Answer 8

There is a book called Repressed Memories, I don't have the author's name at the moment. See if you can get it at your library or one similar.

Your brain is trying to cope with whatever happened.
How is your esteem?
Are you agressive in your behavior?
Any substance abuse?
Eating disorders?
Any depression or anxiety?
Trouble with work?
Withdrawal?
The fact that you hate men is not a reason alone. But how do your relationships go?

If you see yourself in more than one of these, you need to seek counselling. There are GOOD free or low cost agencies in your city. Find one.

Answer 9

Rather than have you try to self diagnose, I'd prefer to suggest you go see a clinical psychologist who specializes in this field...yes, it may be true that you and your sister were molested...regardless, SOMETHING has affected you and you need to get to the root of it so you can live an emotionally healthy life and begin to trust.

Answer 10

I'm sorry i cant answer your question but there does seem to be something there i would talk to a doc and see about talking to some 1 about see if they can make you remember if you want to remember that is x