anyone have any good jokes?

Question

it needs to be something original...because ive heard just about every joke out there.

Answer 1

Okay, this is long, but it's SOOOOOOOOOO funny!

So there's an American guy and his foreign assistant (this isn't meant to be racist or anything, but he HAS to be foreign). The American guy gives him some money and says "Get me a glass, a bucket, and whatever else you want with the rest."

So he goes to the grocery store and says "Can you get me a a**?"
"A what?!"
"A a**!"
"Oh, you mean a GLASS. Here you go!"

Then he goes to the hardware store and says "Can you get me a f*** it?"
"I'm sorry...a what?"
"A f*** it!"
"Oh, you mean a BUCKET. There you are!"

Finally, he goes the the pet store and says "Can you get me a c**k and spank-it"
"Dude, I REALLY hope you mean Cocker Spaniel."

He gets his dog and leaves the store. However, the dog runs away! He sees and elderly woman next to him and says
"Can you grab my a** and f*** it while I get a hold of my c**k and spank it?"

Answer 2

what happens when you give politicians viagra:

they get taller