how do you tell you girlfriend that they are controlling without them getting mad?

Answer 1

Chances are that no matter what you say she's going to be at least a little hurt by what you're telling her. Try to talk to her and good luck!

Answer 2

Well, say it nice. I don't even know how to go about that. I'm a woman. I'm not controlling but i do other things that have been brought to my attention. I've never got mad at my man. I got mad at myself for being that way.
If she doesn't get mad. She will most likely cry. But, this is a good thing. You have to let her know that her controlling is driving you apart. Point out times that she was controlling. Don't make a 3 page list. Just a few times. Like that time you wanted pizza and she said you didn't. Simple stuff. Not the really bad stuff.
I would like to know what my man was feeling because of me.
I've stopped doing that thing i used to do. We are happier.

GOOD LUCK.

Answer 3

I agree with the above posters; if you're worried about her getting mad, then she's controlling more than you realize.

She's controlling how communication operates in this relationship. You're already timid in bringing up quite a serious issue with her, and you don't feel that you can do that without her getting upset. She's making you afraid to stand up for yourself and take back power over your own life.

She might get mad, and she might not; I don't know her. It's possible that she doesn't realize that you're not happy with her behavior, but it's unlikely that she doesn't realize how much she tells you what to do.

Just tell her how you feel and why. What comes next is her step.

Answer 4

This is a very difficult thing to do. The first thing that you need to do is have a frank discussion with each other about your relationship. Each of you needs to freely express what bothers you. I will tell you right now that the use of the word "controlling" is a great word to start a fight. You need to express what is bothering you in noncombative terms. Instead of a general "controlling" issue, bring up a time when you felt uncomfortable by the person's actions and try to put it in decent terms. For instance, she might have decided that you were going to a certain party and you didnt want to go.l You would say something like, "I was very uncomfortable about going to that party because....." Keep the focus on what made you unhappy, do not say words like "you made me go to that party." and tell the truth about why the party sucked for you. You will feel better because you have gotten in touch with what really upset you. You have not accused her so she will be more receptive to what is bothering you. Words, used wrong, just kill relationships.

Answer 5

If you tell a controlling person that they are controlling, you have to expect them to either get mad, to deny it, or to blame it on you. If you are in any type of relationship with a controlling person who refuses to see themselves for what they are and to change, then you should get out - the sooner the better. I was married for 20 years to such a person & it finally became unbearable after 18 years. I put myself and those I loved and cared about (my kids, parents, siblings) through so much grief because I allowed this controlling person to control my life & cause a world of hurt to me and those I loved. If your girlfriend gets mad, then you should find someone who won't be controlling. Trust me - you will be glad you did.

Answer 6

Been there done that, a controlling person is going to get mad regardless of how you approach it, so my suggestion is, access the situation if it is a double standard and you wouldn't do it to her, I would calmy tell her just that, I would tell her I don't control you and you will not control me, don't yell, but say it firm, and after you say it, hold true with it, meaning don't allow it, tell her you already have parents and you don't need a third, you are her boyfriend not her son.

Answer 7

I don't think you can. If she is controlling, she definitely won't like it being pointed out. HOWEVER, you still should. Tell her you need to have an important discussion with her. Turn off all distractions and sit in a comfortable room. And say, I love you, or I care for you, but I am just not happy with you trying to tell me where to go, who to see, how to spend my money, or whatever it is she does. Then say, what can we do to work this out because I want to stay with you.

If she gets upset, let her vent. Don't argue. Once she is done, say, that was some of what I am talking about. I know you don't like to hear it, but I don't like being treated this way either. Again, is there some way we can work this out?

Answer 8

ha ha .....take over sir...if she gets mad then she is not pleasant to be with..and if that is the case then why are you with her?..if you want a girl with old school values then you have to find one...not make one as that is impossible by all means...maybe you should dump her...become sucessul in financial matters and then go and get a sweet asian bride once you are of a higher status...see the world...an empty basket holds more than one which is half full. Fill yours carefully indeed.

Answer 9

Looks like you're already controlled because you haven't brought it up to her but posted it on here. TSK! If you don't like what she does then just tell her and if she doesn't want to show you equality and respect then break off the relationship. It's a done deal.

Answer 10

if u are scared to tell her then u are allowing her to control you. see , any relationship exist on a certain premise, yours exist on her control, i mean for u to ask this in yahoo answer just mean that for the longest time u get scared when she's angry. just tell her, because if u dont , your relationship will just be like that forever.