My sister is just turned 21. She says that she feels worried that she has never had a boyfriend and she is 21. My sister has really low self confidence and she keeps making comments that she will never get married because of the fact that she has never had a boyfriend. She keeps saying that she thinks everyone in the family thinks she is a lesbian. I keep telling her they dont'.
She says that she has never been asked out by a guy before and she thinks it is because she is too ugly. She is not ugly at all. What can I tell her to make her feel better about this?
2007-02-23 03:58:08 · 15 answers · asked by Crysta 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell her it's her self-confidence that drives guys away. It may not be true, but hopefully it'll bring her confidence up. She really needs that.
And tell her not to compare herself to everyone else. 21 is still young and I myself know a lot of people who haven't had a bf/gf at that age. Doesn't mean a thing. It just means that there were no guys/girls that were right for them. Atleast she didn't have her heart broken... She should just be thankful that she's not in her 30s thinking about this kinda thing...
Don't hook her up. It's too forced and either one of them could just be there because they had to be. It's no fun. It's awkward. Naturally meeting someone is so much better.
Tell her that God has a plan for her and will bring her the right one in His time. She just needs to have faith in Him.
2007-02-23 04:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if she is ugly or not but that may be part of the problem. On the other hand, I have dated some very attractive women and had a few attractive female friends who are single and have been single for a long time and not by choice. Sometimes good people just can't find a guy/girl.
I have been in a few relationships and I miss that, but I have faith that God will bring me and my true love together when the time is right.
Tell her to go to work on her self and make herself more attracive, stylish, outgoing, and flirty. She has to get out there more and mingle. God helps those who help themselves.
2007-02-23 04:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
i have a friend, that has never been in a true relationship either, and are also worried bc its like the age of doing all that has kinda came and went or you should have had a first bf/gf . i think its really a personally thing,, what was your sister doing during highschool/college.. was she working her butt off doing great in school, or working a lot to a career.. that stuff happens, i would tell her look at what you have done in that time(hopefully its good) really start building up the confidence,,, go out with her to meet people, friends of friends, i think once the door is open to your sister its bound to stay open ,but she really needs to open it first, you know what i mean, you gotta put yourself out there in situations, its like i really wanna meet someone but i dont leave the house unless i'm going to work... you know how are you suppose to meet people if your not with any other people.. goodluck
2007-02-23 04:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by sm81206 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if she has an issue at looking at her self in a positive way that is where the problem is i was the same way i used to think i was ugly and it was making me really depressed but one night my friends took me out to dinner all dressed up so i look my best they did my makeup and my hair but i still thought i was ugly then at dinner that night i had a guy say how beautiful he thought i was and that was definitaly a booster i started thinking wow maybe people actually think i am pretty so i started taking better care of myself and i had a big confidence boost then guys started liking me your additude is a big part of why i guy is attacted to you so try doing what my friends did to me to you sister and i hope i helpled because loving and being loved are the two most important thing in life
2007-02-23 04:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She'll have to figure it out. I had the same problem and didn't really figure out I wasn't all that ugly until I was in my early 30s. My first gf came along shortly after that. I wish there were some formula I could give you that would make her feel better, but it's just going to take time.
2007-02-23 04:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ur time will come.u r perfectly good and ok and u have to wait.men aren't all over the place and besides, u want the right one. just don't let her fall for the first guy that comes and pays her a lil attention cause i'm sure she's worth alot.if u say she looks ok then i don't c any other problem then the lack of self esteem.just tell her bout all the good stuff she's done or she is a natural at.gl
2007-02-23 04:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by krissa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My advice is she has to communicate with the opposite sex for starters. (not searching for anyone)
Just being friendly and being herself. She will draw the interest of a guy that likes what he sees. (ignoring everyone....they think you're taken)
This can be through other girls (talking as a group) hanging out or playing games, going to carnivals together etc..
As far as looks...that varies with each person....alot of people are vain...some are REAL...With good grooming and a good attitude she'll find the right one.
I found my husband by NOT looking for him. As a matter of fact, I had it with guys and was alone for a while. (just bad choices)
He came along and I told him straight up that I did'nt want him....he told me the same.
Somehow, we hit it off.
Note:
Tell her to stay away from guys at the bars. Most of them take their ring off and lie.
2007-02-23 04:10:54 · answer #7 · answered by Bonnie Lynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister was 25 and still lived single, with our parents so I suggested a local dating site & it worked. They now live together and are getting married.
Or take her out so she can meet new people.
To make her feel better, tell her that the right person will come along when it's meant to be & maybe advise her to work on her confidence. If she feels ugly, it might show so lads are uncomfortable to approach her.
2007-02-23 04:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by LauraMarie 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
tell her that her time will come and she didnt have to go thru a lot of heart breaks! so consider herself lucky to be free enjoy life!!
2007-02-23 04:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by tls_2007 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She needs to take the bull by the horns and ask someone out. This is the 21st century women are allowed to ask men out on dates.
2007-02-23 04:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋