What would you do if...? (sorry, it's kinda long...)?

Question

You had a mother in law that seems to *never* pay attention to you when you try to explain something...
You had told her that you didn't want your 9 month old baby eating sugary things because you were told by your DOCTOR that this will make the baby "hyper"...
Your husband knew about this...
Your husband takes the baby to a Smoothie shop, you called your husband, overheard someboby talking about "ice cream", asked your hubby: "Is th baby eating ice cream?" and he said "No"...
When hubby and baby came back, baby would NOT go to sleep and you couldn't figure out WHY...
Days later you learn that, indeed, your mother in law fed the baby ice cream that night, causing baby to stay up til 11:30 pm...
What would you do?....

Answer 1

Discuss with your husband, FIRST. because he was there, and he was well aware. not only did he allow this to happe but he blatanely lied to you about it. tell him how upset it made you, and tell him that you feel as though his mother doesn't listen to your concerns. second of all, make it clear to him that if this happens again and she goes against you and your husbands guidlines that you WILL make it a point to take it up with her. (respectfully ofcourse)

Answer 2

Sounds like your mother-in-law doesn't respect you as your child's mother. When I was a new mother, I was very sensitive to always wanting to do things just right so I would be doing what was best for my baby. After my 2nd baby, I learned to relax a bit because things that I would be nit-picky about really would not harm my child in the long run. You need to relax about the occasional slip-ups of family members. If a diaper isn't changed a certain way, or if the kid isn't dressed a certain way or fed a certain way - these are all things that won't harm the child in the long run. If however, someone blatantly goes against something you feel strongly about as a parent & it negatively affects you or your child as a result (like the baby staying up till 11:30 pm), then you most certainly have the right to put your foot down.

I think you should tell your mother-in-law that she needs to respect your wishes - tell her respectfully, but in a tone that says you mean business. If she doesn't learn right now that YOU - NOT her, are the mother, then this is only the beginning of your troubles with her (I'm speaking from experience here). If your husband allows her to feed your baby sugary foods again & then covers up for it, then when the baby is up late as a result, you should go to bed & give your baby to your husband to calm down for bed.

Answer 3

Well I am having somewhat of the same problem with my mother-in-law. She insists on feeding my son caffiene and butter and salt. But, whatever. I just really don't want him to have caffiene. You must realize that grandparents are going to feed your child little secret things-like chocolate chip cookies and ice cream, because that's what grandparents do. I was really upset, just as you are. As long as I feed him healthy wholesome foods, then he can have treats at other peoples houses. Now, I do not want him having caffiene, and my husband knows this, so I would expect him to stand up for OUR decision not to feed our child loads of caffiene (or tons of sugar- but some sugar is ok because it's in everything). If my husband lied to me about it, regardless of what his reasons were, there would def be a serious conversation about that. You both need to be a united front when it comes to issues about your children. I would expect nothing less than that from my husband. And if he insists on letting his mother feed your baby sugar by the spooonful, make him stay up with the hyper child while you get some long over due rest!

Answer 4

Did you have to stay up with the baby that night? First of all, I don't know any mother in law who doesn't try to undermine her daughter in law at least once in a while. So this is something that you have no control over. However, your spouse is completely different story. First of all, my husband would not dare to pull this kind of stunt. He knows what would happen, if you are the one who allows it, you have to deal with the consequences. When he got home that day, the baby would stay in his physical posession. He would have to deal with whatever went on. From hyper behavior to staying up late and not getting any sleep. He would learn really quick to follow the agreed upon rules for the child if he has to deal with the consequences of HIS actions. He'll either learn to either respect the decisions that you and he have made about your children, or anything that you have negotiated and agreed upon. And stand up for those ideals when he's with his parents, or anyone else for that matter. Or he will have to deal with the consequences of his actions. This is something that I know works, because I have been married now for 27 years. And I love my husband dearly. He is a fantastic man as men go. But, all of them just need to understand that they are responsible for their actions. Pretty much, in some cases you have to think of them as another one of your kids. And if it were a kid lying and acting against your wishes when he is with other people, you would not expect for you to take responsiblity for the consequences. Would you? Of course, not, you would only be helping that child to learn if he/she is made responsible for it. Just try it next time. He will hate it and learn very quickly it's just easier to do what you have agreed to do in those situations. Good luck!!

Answer 5

Whoa!!! it sounds like your mother in law does not respect your authority as the babys MOTHER. and it seems that your husband is letting her do this. I would first sit down and have a conversation with your husband and tell him how you feel about all this. Also tell the mother in law how you feel. I would tell her if she does not start listening, then she can not have unsupervised visits with your baby!

Answer 6

let her know that thats ur baby & if they cant respect u &ur wishes 2 stay the hell away, cuz u value his health more than she does, as far as her not paying attention 2 u, she's doing u a favor, give her a dose of her own medicene

Answer 7

Grandmothers were made to spoil thier grandchildren....I have told my mom time and time again no this or no that...she still does it!!!!! Heres the thing they know that they can spoil them rotton and send them home so they dont have to deal with the consequences!!!!!!!

Answer 8

I would talk to my partner he needs to make sure your in law sticks to what you decide is best for your baby.

Answer 9

tell them that you can't allow them to be responsible for the child if you can't trust them to respect what you ask of them. it is your child!