I have been seeing a guy for several months and we ended it abruptly. Our relationship wasn't ur tpical bf/gf it was more like an emotional bootycall. He said he never wanted to see me again. Why would a guy end a relationship like that? What should I do if I still have feelings for him? Should I call him and when?
Additional Details
so i never cheated on him but he claimed he couldnt trust me. we never really fully discussed the issue b/c he was just like whatever that's it i'm never calling you again. he was so persistent that this was the last time we'd ever see each other. have a good life etc...but it wasnt bitter...just matter of factly. should i try to find him on facebook/myspace and add him. or relationship has soured and im just mad he beat me to breaking up with him. what's the best way to get over it>
2007-02-23 03:28:03 · 15 answers · asked by texanchic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, you can try to dissect what went wrong until the cows come home, and it is not going to change this very basic fact: he doesn't want to be with you.
It is time for self-examination. Think about your relationship. Did you really do anything to make him lose trust in you? If so, then learn from that and never do it again. If not, then there is not a lot you can do. Maybe he just found another girl. Maybe he got scared and decided he didn't want a real relationship. Maybe he is just a jerk (likely). Regardless, he is not interested, and you do not want a guy like that anyway. It is time to move on.
How do you get over it? It can be rough, for sure, but you can do it. Start by letting yourself grieve about it for a day or two. Cry. Sob. Feel sorry for yourself. Whatever you need to do. But after a day, two max, stop. Go out with your friends. Get involved with as many activities as you can handle. Keep busy doing things you love! Volunteer to help people. Join a club. Get some exercise. Have some fun! The more you put into your head, the less space is left to be occupied by the past. Do what you want to do, and let him fade away. It takes some time, but you can do it.
And wait. Don't try to get involved in another relationship too soon. DEFINITELY don't try to get back with the loser you've left behind! Be yourself for a little bit. Enjoy being yourself. Enjoy being able to do whatever you want. Enjoy being able to be with your friends whenever you feel like it. When you are ready for a new relationship, get out there and start looking. To steal an old and well-used cliche... there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 03:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay now...the relationship is what it was... in your own words "an emotional bootycall". These kind of relationships are not intended to go beyond that. You can't have the fairy tale....Only Julia Roberts got that in Pretty Woman. I'm sure you did not intend to "fall in love" with him. He seemed adimant (in your description) that it is over. Do not contact him. Let it go and let this experience be a learning one. Why are you mad that he broke up with you? If you fell in love with him you was going to break up with him? Or are you saying that you wished you was the first to break it off because then you would feel like you were in control of the relationship so that your feelings wouldn't be hurt. Sweetie, you have found out the hard way, I am sorry that you are hurting but when you put yourself out there for just an emotional booty call....you weren't supposed to fall in love. You will find someone who will make you feel like you are queen...give it time!
2007-02-23 05:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's obviously NOT wanting to talk right now. You said "we" ended it abruptly- why did you agree to end it if you still have feelings for him? Give it a week then call him and let him know you : 1. Respect his feelings and want him to be happy. 2. Don't want to lose him and still WANT him. 3. Are willing to WORK on the issues he feels that caused him to break up with you. More than likely after a couple of weeks of "no sex" he'll be more interested in "working" on the relationship- do NOT give in to sex until he decides you are the ONE. It'll be tough but us guys are SUCKERS for women that are persistant in expressing their love. I know I am.
2016-05-24 02:23:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't get "over" someone by getting "under" another...I swear I think most of the people answering these things are 15. Only time will take care of your intial feelings of hurt and loss. I would not try to contact him. It appears, based on what you're telling, that he was clear about it being over. Take the time you need to heal and then move on. Consider this a learning experience...take out of it what you need, throw the rest away, and be happy!
2007-02-23 03:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by Michele D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, if you're mad that he beat you to the break up then you're not mature enough for a relationship in the first place. anyway, did you do anything to make him lose trust in you? sounds like you did something and he got mad....or maybe you're too flirty and he's the jealous type. either way, if he said he doesn't want to talk to you ever again and left you with no means to get in touch with him, than that's the end of it.
2007-02-23 03:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by Will P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was just a booty call then it doesn't matter what he thinks, treat him just like a booty call and find someone else. He's an *** for doing that. Just remember people who accuse are guilty of something...maybe him not trusting you means he knows what he's been doing so he thinks you could be doing that too. You should just move on because you don't deserve someone who'll treat you like that.
2007-02-23 03:35:56 · answer #6 · answered by oo_m_i_c_h_e_l_l_e_oo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I had breakups, I was always so happy that it wasn't WORSE! that I could go on from there. I mean, what if you had gotten even more fond of him and he did that to you! If there is not trust in a relationship, there is nothing; whether the feeling is justified, or not. Now go find a good one!!!
2007-02-23 03:35:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he got caught sleeping with you while developing another relationship! I would just shut it down and move on. You are letting his non-adult like handling of relationships effect you. You worry about you growing up and please do that, the world has enough adolscent adults, I would start trying to date men who have something to offer than a few moments of intimacy, something like a future, plans, a car, one who speaks english would be a preference too.
2007-02-23 03:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get over a man is to get under another one.
2007-02-23 03:31:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one knows why exactly he ended it like that. We can all speculate, but none of us will know for sure. You have to ask HIM this and keep asking until you get a truthful answer.
If you really have feelings for him, then go after him and don't let up!!!
2007-02-23 03:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋