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..is it just me, or does anyone else think this is wrong. and i realized that she has been going down the wrong path in her life lately. she quit school, gets high all the time, kicked out of her parents house and is living with this man who has a 2 year old son. before she was living with him she asked me if she could move in wit me but i said no( i guess i was wrong on my part) i just didnt want to get involved in all her drama cuz im tryin to get somewhere in life. so how do i help her. i hear this man has a record of some sort.is it a good idea for her to stay wit this man she hardly knows.

2007-02-23 03:24:51 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

33 answers

It depends on where you live if the 24 yr old is breaking the law...some state 17 is legal age.

I would not blame yourself for your friends mistakes. But being a true friend I would talk to her. Explain that you are worried about her. I am sure there are local shelters and support groups that can help her with housing and getting clean and making a better life for herself. Do some research and present these options to her..maybe she's looking for a way out of the situation she's in..and doesn't know how to get out..maybe with your help she could.

2007-02-23 03:32:06 · answer #1 · answered by Barb 3 · 0 0

Unfortunately some people have to learn in the hard way. Of course it's wrong, since in CA she's under age and this guy could go to jail for having sex with her.
Personally, I think you did a good thing not letting her come to live with you. if she was kicked out of her parents it's for a reason, so that's good that you don't get involve with drama.
As for her, the only thing that you could do is to advice her and just monitor what's going on with her life. Advice her to protect herself for STDs and for pregnancy, the drug use (lack of motivation, memory loss, anxiety, etc), and about this baby that aparently doesn't have a mom to take of him/her (is this 17 year old taking her of his baby?).
The bottom line is that she's looking for protection and doesn't want to take full responsibility for her actions. She's definetely lost...tell her that life is more than just being with a man, that she can do better, get some education, get a job, stop doing drugs and work on self-steem.
As for you, don't get too involve, cause it's easy to change yourself than the rest of the world!

2007-02-23 03:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Maybe you should let her move in with you but just don't let her take you down her path. She is self destructing and there might not be a lot you can do to change the end result. But by talking with her and showing her a good example you can try to help her come back from the edge. Just keep in mind that even if you can help her risking your future isn't worth it. If you think that she could drag you down then let her go. A person is only responsible for themselves and she will have to take responsibility for her actions. She can try to blame others but it will always rest on her.

2007-02-23 03:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0 0

what you can do is just be there for her as a friend.. and you have the right to say no because she might go bck on getting high or bring stranger to your house all that... I do that all the time with my deaf friends. believe me it worth it and I have family..

If she want to move with him and she hardly know him just show support for her that all you can do.. since then she went the wrong path but she knows she can go back to the right path but she made the choice.. all you can do is be postive for her and she will see you how you have a positve life and she will change... sometime they don't.

Again you didn't do anything wrong because you don't want to get involved all of her drama that is true and you try to get a life of your own smiling.

2007-02-23 03:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1 0

You might consider calling the authorities about the situation. He might even be the one who started her on the drugs. If he has a record the police would know what was going on with him in the past and if it was a similar situation he could be committing a parole violation at the very least. At 17, your friend is going to have to learn from her mistakes because she thinks she knows what she is doing and won't listen to anyone who doesn't agree with her. All you can do is pray for her and let her know that you still care about what is happening to her. Don't feel guilty about not letting her live with you. She would use your place for her druggy friends to hang out and expect you to support her financially.

2007-02-23 03:35:10 · answer #5 · answered by Country girl 7 · 1 0

You cannot live her life for her. Hopefully she will wake up, but there is little anyone can do for her until she does. You might offer her a place to live...with restrictions! Lots of restrictions. She needs to go back to school or get her GED. She needs to stop getting high and figure out what direction she wants to take. You cannot do this for her, you can just offer and if she messes up, she is out. Don't waver on that. Idle threats are just enabling her. Talk to her parents too, if they are willing to talk. That is where she should be.

2007-02-23 03:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by Bev 5 · 0 0

First thing... It was not wrong for you not to come live with you. All she would have done was mooch of you, prolly bring the dope inside your house and if you got busted.. guess who would have got in trouble... not her! Right now, she is going through a rebellion stage and she is not going to listen to you no matter what you say. She is going her way and D*mn anyone that gets in her way. I would still try to talk to her and let her know what she is doing is wrong and she can do so much better. The only other thing to do is pray for her.

2007-02-23 03:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by **baby~doll** 3 · 1 0

seriously. that 24 year old man can go in jail for being with a underage. especially when she is getting high all the time, if the police catches them they're going to be in deep deep trouble. i have no special step advice, but to just tell you that you should just warn her and let her make her own decision. you don't want to get involved. i'm sure that with your thought and asking people for advice, shows that you are a great person and that you will get somewhere good in your life. Just don't let a person who doesn't think ruin yours.

2007-02-23 03:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by Christy 2 · 0 0

She is 17 living with a 24 yera old man? That's called statutory rape in several states. Too bad no one cares enough about this girl to help her out of this situation. All it would take would be a phone call to social services. Statutory rape usually carries a prison sentence...

2007-02-23 03:31:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

No, no you werent wrong for saying no to her request to stay with you. It would have been her own fault for having to move in anyways, and it is like teaching her somthing. In some way you did the right thing for her in that sense. But her living with this guy is bad news. It seems to me that he is trying to take control of her. Try telling someone about this and maybe somehow they work this problem out. Good luck! :D

2007-02-23 03:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by xheaatherrrx 1 · 2 0

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