Why do some people believe a person is naive if they don't drink?
If I decided to stop eating desserts you would encourage me, If I decided to quite smoking you'd encourage me, so why is a person belittled for choosing not to drink anymore?
2007-02-23 03:24:30 · 27 answers · asked by john y 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ignorance and disrespect for other's choices. Ignore them and stick to your guns.
2007-02-23 03:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, Why are you listening to those idiots? Would you listen if they said you should try "SPEED"? ... when so many die each year as hollow wreaks of their former selves.
You need to stop living by standards you didn't sign-off on. But, when you decide, it becomes a personal decision that you need to feel comfortable with and can defend without guilt.
You have not arbitrarily said "No Drinking" You have HISTORY that convinced you. And you want to listen to an idiot? What are you, nuts? You call these people Peers? It doesn't take a mental giant to see that you need to change "friends" if this is a sampling.
BUT ....
DON'T turn into the friend that ignores the damage being done to your friend. Show them where you come from and why you are explaining it to them. Then step away for a bit to let it sink in, about a week will do. And, if you still see that bad behavior, try again. Don't give up, because good friends don't quit. Ever.
2007-02-23 03:51:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who is giving you grief over not drinking is a major league d-bag. You'd think that with society being more aware of alcoholism, people would know better than to make a big deal over someone who chooses to abstain.
Why do people do it? Probably for a lot of reasons. Some might have alcohol problems themselves, some might have a warped attitude that you are judging them because you aren't drinking and they are, some don't know how to have fun with other people unless everyone's drinking, and some are just curious and have never been taught manners.
If a stranger brings it up to you in a social situation, give him or her a cold stare that conveys just how inappropriate it is for them to comment on your abstaining. Perhaps you might even say in a terse voice that you come from a family of alcoholics and do not want to become one yourself. Don't flip out at the rude person, act calm and collected, but give the impression that you find this behavior extremely rude. Hopefully the rude person will be so embarrassed and ashamed that he or she will learn their lesson and never pester abstainers again.
2007-02-23 04:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sass B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drinking has become an acceptable social norm like, say, owning a computer. The fact the you don't own a computer doesn't mean you can't type, right? So the fact that you don't drink doesn't mean you aren't capable of the things that drinking supposedly allows you to do: relax, cut loose, talk more openly, dance badly in public etc.
Stick to your guns if that's how you feel. Anyone who gives you a hard time based on that difference between you is either shallow and therefor someone with whom you don't want to associate anyway, or has a drinking problem.
Own your own feelings and decisions and don't be afraid to be the only one left standing at the end of the day.
2007-02-23 03:33:17 · answer #4 · answered by john m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because they feel if you're not drinking and they are they may feel like they're doing something wrong in your eyes.
I don't really drink either (every now and again I'll drink, but it's very rare for me to, it's just a personal choice for me.)and sometimes when I'm out with friends I get the same grief, so I've asked them what the problem is with me not drinking. They've told me that if I don't drink they feel like I'm looking down on them for drinking.
So I guess it's easier to put the pressure on you since you're the odd one out.
Just do what's right for you and no one else.
2007-02-23 03:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by photogrl262000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are the same people who will buy into the latest fad, no matter how ridiculous it actually is. It's a very respectable decision you've made not to drink. You've seen what alcoholics do. So let them sit around and have a drink in their low rise bell bottoms and pink hair and call you whatever they like. Do you REALLY care?
2007-02-23 03:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by He calls me cranky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people want to justify their own behaviour, that is why they give you a hard time. they assume you are judging them when you choose not to participate in something that is such a big part of their lives. it is fueled by their own insecurity. a drinker surrounds themselves with other drinkers so they know that at least in the present company it is okay to continue to do what they logically know is harmful.
when someone offers you a drink, do not feel you have to justify your personal choice. don't be afraid to say "i'm allergic". while you may not have a physical allergy to alcohol, you have an emotional one based on family history. those encouraging you to drink do not need to know your reasons. if they wont respect your choice, they are not worthy of your respect in return.
best of luck. stay true to who you are.
2007-02-23 03:50:42 · answer #7 · answered by ruthietoothie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason people who drink want you to drink with them is if they do something silly you won't care because you will be drunk too. If these people are good friends and you want, you can explain to them why you do not drink. If they are not or you don't want to it is none of their business. In a social gathering carry a glass of seltzer with a wedge of lemon in it and people will think you are drinking and will leave you alone. You can do this either at a party or in a bar. Stick to your convictions you are doing the right thing for you.
2007-02-23 03:37:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
EXACTLY! I choose not to drink or exactly the same reason.
Many, many times, people have tried hard to get me to take a drink. I take a soft drink in a glass, and enjoy whatever occasion I might be attending.
It could be that others want me to drink in order to justify their own dependance on alcohol.
2007-02-23 03:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just want to encourage you to not drink. I have a friend that came from a family of alcoholics and she choose not to drink as well. Keep your original plan not to drink and your friends will respect you in the long run. :)
2007-02-23 03:31:06 · answer #10 · answered by sarah2282005 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think people that do that are just immature and really unsure of themselves. Don't let them make you feel bad about your decision not to drink. I applaud you for recognizing that there is a potential problem with you drinking because of your family history. Good luck to you.
2007-02-23 03:42:58 · answer #11 · answered by catfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋