Ok my maid of honor has been my friend for over 10 years. Because we have been the best of friends for so long it was only natural to ask her to be my MOH. Well now she doesn't give me the time of day. She hasn't done ANYTHING for me. I have been doing EVERYTHING! How do I approach this? We are only 2 months away and the bridesmaides or MOH have the dresses. I let them choose the dress they wanted just as long as it is the color I want. That didn't even help soooo I now gave them the dress I WANT! HELP!
2007-02-23 03:22:32 · 14 answers · asked by JAG 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I did tell her what I needed help in and she always tells me what ever you need let me know and I do ask her to go with me somewhere and and the last minute I can't find her and when I finally do she tells me she can't go. I have already tried talking to her....I know I AM the bride and I do make all the decisions but why is she treating me this way telling me yes! then she backs out in helping or going with me
2007-02-23 03:54:17 · update #1
Sounds to me like you need to chill out a little. Wedding planning is more your responsibility than hers....you still need to keep on top of everyone including her. Maybe when you asked her to be your moh you should have told her what you expect of her. She probably doesn't know what you are thinking, so it would probably help to tell her.... Different people have different ideas of what a moh should do. Most of them are just there for support, not to plan your whole wedding....
2007-02-23 03:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
2 months away and no dress! Not good, it normally takes 3 months for the dress to come back and then 2 weeks for alternations - at this point you are going to have to buy off the rack. My suggestion is find out what the heck is going on with the MOH - my friend had this same thing happen, not to scare you, but she found out that her MOH had been having an affair (for two years) with her boyfriend and when they got engaged she couldn't handle it because she was in love with the groom so she did NOTHING to help with the wedding. Unfortunately the bride found out AFTER the wedding. Okay, so maybe it's not that, but it's definitely something weird going on - could she be jealous of the nuptials, but why wait until two months prior to start wigging out? Secondly, by all means tell them what you want them to wear, but be prepared that someone may not look good in what you chose. In that case, pick something plainish that should flatter most body types and by all means, get moving missy. If the MOH continues to be a problem, dismiss her of her duties and move on. You simply have no time for this nonsense right now. Good luck.
2007-02-23 03:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me--you need to to talk to her NOW or tension will build and it will get worse.
My MOH started off strong, but then got jealous or resentful or something and I had to plan my bachelorette party myself--after it was decided that she would be the one planning it---(she had no part in the shower)-It was bad and we are not that great of friends anymore due to the wedding and other stuff.
I don't know what it is, but weddings have a way of turning sour with some people.
Ask her first if there's anything on her mind--dont be a bridezilla-but dont be a doormat either.
If you have any doubts you may want to change things around NOW.
I kind of wish I did, but I didn't want the drama involved so that is something to consider.
Sometimes the money spent can cause people to become resentful--so if she does not have a lot of money to spend that may be an issue as well.
Good luck!!!!
2007-02-23 03:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by michelle5196 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of them. That day is special for you. Not the MOH or bridesmaid. When weddings are planned alot of people get caught up in the mix and have to include everyone they know, NOT TRUE!. If they can not be there for you, then you might need to get someone else.
2007-02-27 03:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by allbutsweet82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that women don't know the whole role of MOH. Since you've been friends with this person for 10 years you should be able to tell her anything. Tell her what the MOH postion intails and tell I really need help with my wedding and that is why i asked you to be the MOH. I love you and I can't do it alone..
She should understand since you've been friends with her this long. I know i would if it was my friend.
2007-02-23 03:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by hoilday luv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her about this, but try to do it in a non-confronting way. Try going out to lunch and express how you really need her help. Alot of times, especially in recent generations, the MOH doesn't know or understand their roles. They think: "Hey, I'm her favorite and I get a special title!" You need to express to her that you chose her because you knew that you could trust her and that she would be there to help you with whatever you needed. I had a similar problem with my MOH, but after I sat down and talked to her and we both expressed our feelings/ thoughts about what was expected things turned out OK.
All I can say is best of luck and try to be calm when talking to her because you don't want to loose a friendship over a misunderstanding. And remember this is your day...don't let anyone ruin it! Best Wishes!!!
2007-02-23 03:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by rbyslippers83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate!!!!!! ive been married for almost a year. ive know my moh of almost 8 years. she introduced my to my hubby...anyway! it was also natural for me to choose her as the moh. everyone said i shold have had my sis. (which i now totally agree with. she was more help to me than the one i had). at first she was happy with our engagement, then she completely tried to take over everything or just ignored me. and the day of, she was pretty much no where in site at the reception!! a lot of people said she was probably just jelous that i got married before her. maybe so, is that the case for you to? i have ot talked to her in about 6 months, and quite honestly dont care to. just talk to her. let her know how you feel and that her actions are not acceptable. its your day not hers! good luck! i wish i would have told mineh ow i felt.
2007-02-23 04:15:36 · answer #7 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm having the same prob with my MOH. She keeps dodging me and leaving me hanging. My cousin who lives 5 hours away in another state has been helping me more than my MOH. I'm going to tell her to step back, so I guess I'm gonna kinda demote her to a bridesmaid. Sadly there's nothin more than that, to be done, with out causing me more stress and aggervation. One thought has helped me get through this, I can't wait till she gets married, I'm pretty sure she's gonna ask me to be in her weddding, and I'm gonna do the samething to her.
2007-02-23 04:49:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, remember that the maid of honor is only responsible for paying for her dress and helping to plan your shower. That's it. Anyone at all can plan your bachelorette party; it doesn't have to be her. So what is it that your maid of honor is not doing that she's supposed to?
If you have other expectations of her, I suggest you let her know what they are. Don't expect her to volunteer for something that she doesn't even know she should be doing.
2007-02-23 03:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONFRONT HER. It is your wedding and she obviously is jealous of you. Tell her and your other bridesmaids that if they do not want to be in the wedding they could have said no when you asked. There is no need to have bad friends around you on the happiest day of your life.
2007-02-23 03:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋