I never chatted.My 1st time going to a chat room, i met a girl by randomly clicking a name, we chat for a few weeks,she is from the same city as me (chicago). we both felt a connection, chatting conversation started to turn to fone conversation that lasted up to 8 hrs.i was feeling like i was falling in love with a girl i never seen in person. I finally did fall in love, and she did to, we fell in love, i asked her out but still, we never met or saw each other in person, we exchanged pics but thats it(the most beautiful girl ive ever seen). and i knew a few causins of hers from school but i never met her. her mom moved her to california and she'll be coming back this summer, the thing is we still together, we are still boy friend and girl friend. our relationship is great, its beautiful, we get butterflies wen ever we tell each other that we love one another. it feels beautiful. our relationship has lasted 2 yrs and yet i still havnt see (she was afraid2 meet me)(was sexually molested)
2007-02-23 03:22:02 · 15 answers · asked by g_ramirezjr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She probably sent you pictures of someone else. Be prepared to be disappointed when you see her in person.
2007-02-23 03:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little complicated. The good thing is that you both are now legal adults and can do whatever you want.
As per my own experience and from others as well, I do not recommend long distance relations. Is frustrating and leads to fights over stupid thoughts of cheating even if nothing has happened.
Unless you two are planning on moving close or together to the same house, is not worth it. If you have plans, then is better as you can prepare for everything while waiting. Still, seeing each other as often as possible is the key to keep both of you calm and relaxed about the situation.
The only problem here is that after so long (you said 2 years) you guys haven’t even met yet. I found that a little weird, but is ok I guess. The thing is that you said she was sexually molested, so she ha s a phobia now, and like it or not, the phobia is about a guy having sex with her. And that is bad news because you are a guy and will eventually want to have sex with her, right? Is the most natural thing but some as$hole fuc-ked it up by molesting her. Hope he is in jail getting molested by a bunch of guys now.
Anyways, the first step is to meet, and see how things go. If you two decide to really be together, then you two have to figure out how to be closer.
But the main thing here is you. Because of her problem, you most agree and commit to never ever try to even touch her in a sexual way without her consent. Otherwise, you will risk the entire relation as she might back out.
Best thing to do is to talk (can be over the phone, but it would be more intimate and better if in person) about your future as a couple, expectations, and also about her problem. Make her understand the fact that you will not do anything to her at all, and that you will wait until she is ready, and will help her all the time to overcome that fear. It might sound exaggerated, but trust me, those images will be in the back of her head for a long time or even her whole life. It all depends on how bad she was molested. Hopefully it wasn’t something very bad.
If you two are so in love as you claim, then you have a good chance not only to be happy with her, but to help her a lot. Is not easy for a guy to deal with this things as we are very sexual, but if you love her, you should be able to control yourself and concentrate on helping her.
Good luck, hope you two can meet soon, and hope you two can be living together soon too! And have fun!!
2007-02-23 11:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're both playing it very "safe". You have a relationship, so you avoid the hassles of going out and dating, but it's a very low-maintenance relationship that lacks much of the real interaction and intimacy of being face to face. You are both therefore avoiding some of the difficulties involved in having and maintaining a full relationsihp.
Also, you are denying yourselves the joy of a real relationship. If you've never met her, you can't hold hands, kiss, walk together somewhere. That's the cost of maintinaing your "safe distance".
One or both of you will eventually tire of this arrangement, and either end it or seek to take it to the next, in-person level. I suggest you give the latter a try and see if what is nice at a distance is just as good up close. Good luck!
2007-02-23 11:25:46 · answer #3 · answered by Steven D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know what you have to me it sounds as if you do not have a relationship come on now you still have not seen this girl little do you know she show you another picture well all I can hope for is that it works out for you good luck
2007-02-23 11:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well congrats you will see her at prom and graduation then maybe you 2 might go to the same college if you are going to colllege and if only 1 is you can be roomates if she is ok with that then you or her can go to college and have less expenses since the bills will be split 50-50 then you can spend more time together!
2007-02-23 11:28:08 · answer #5 · answered by Avaria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its completely understanable why shes afraid. I would be afraid. You sound like you really love her just stop worrying when theres love everything is OK. You both know each other so why worry. Since this is your first time seeing each other enjoy it and enjoy her. You can finally tell each other how you feel and just enjoy the moment. KISS!HUG ! ENJOY IT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE JUST FIND. LOVE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFEAT ANYTHING.
2007-02-23 11:28:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jaizmin P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes when something can feel that great and its great just being the way it is, people don't want to take a chance in ruining it. Perhaps she is insecure and shy. Be patient, good things come to those who wait!! Don't give up.
2007-02-23 11:27:15 · answer #7 · answered by r_fazenbaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why she is cautious on meeting you. Make sure that when you do meet that it is in a very public place and wait before you go somewhere private.
It all sounds really sweet, but how long can you have a relationship via the phone & computer?
Good Luck!
2007-02-23 11:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First you can't fall in love with someone through the internet. Its just dumb. How could you say your inlove with a person you have never even met. Really sit down to think about it!
2007-02-23 11:29:03 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I admire how romantic you are, but... If she does not want to see you it means any of these things:
- her feelings are not too strong or she is not in love
- she has low self esteem
- she is too cowardly to follow her heart
Any way you look at it - its bad. Get over it. Find a new girl!
2007-02-23 11:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by Rona9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋