hi, me and my gf have a longdistance thing and shes younger than me. in the past few months, things have gotten a little shaky though. she tells me i dont open up to her as much as i use to and i think it has to do with when she cheated cuz i upset her one week. she thinks i dont care about her, when in all reality, i couldnt care more about another human being. we've been making alot of future plans like marriage and etc, but i cant help but still get myself into these very random fights. For Example, today, we were all happy and talking, and i know her and my brother are bickering and making pics and editing them left and right to "compete" with each other. well i jokingly said my brothers art owns hers. and she took it as a direct crack at her and we had a little insult flinging back and forth, broke up for about 10 minutes, and then talked a long time until she went to bed and i signed off and did my own thing. i'm curious what i could do to reopen to her. any advice for me?
2007-02-23 03:16:39 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It probably does have something to do with her cheating. You have to know you can trust her. I went through this with my fiance. We broke up for about 6 months...then...got back together and we are now planning our wedding. You have to let go of what has happened and move on. If you can't let go...you need to just move on. I know that sucks but you can';t live your life fighting! good luck and i hope everything works out!@
2007-02-23 03:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by KJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say youre making plans for the future? Could you honestly see yourself married with all the arguments youve been having, constant breaking up and getting back together, etc.?? I personally think the distance may be a huge issue! With you guys being away from each other you can only express yourself so much. I'm only giving advise, but I think you guys may need a break from one another for a while... So that the both of you can see how much you appreciate each other or want to be together. You say she cheated?! If someone can cheat so easily just because she was upset with something you did... doesnt that make you question her loyalty? Youre doing the best you can given the distance... Hope this helps!
2007-02-23 03:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with yall is that your are both getting frustrated about the distance and actually want to be with each other. You are not there to see the emotions behind what you are saying and she takes it the wrong way. It is really hard to go through things when someone cheats, but props to you that you forgave her. But always think that you made her mad once and she did that... will she do it again to get back at you. If she will, thats not love. I really hope everything will work out for you. you act like you truely love this girl. How to open up to her, just tell her things you have thought about. It doesn't have to be really deep things, or tell her things and memories from your childhood. This will help her understand what kind of person you are today. I would also have a talk with her and tell her that you love her, but you really hate the fighting and try to both work on not going at each other throats.
2007-02-23 03:25:59 · answer #3 · answered by **baby~doll** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you're trying way to hard if you honestlt know that both of you guys care about each other so much then give it time and let her realize that youg uys bickering is sill and should be put to the side or resolved faster then whats going on now.! you are a really good guy and you deserve a really good woman and if she wants to bicker about silly things leave it alone for a while dont talk to her lt her make some effort too or you will be sorry later a relationship ahs to be 50/ 50 and i can truly see that she didnt advance for a age she is a bit childish and you need to understand this and approach the situation thouroly and slowly, good luck with everything _ a womans view with experience_
2007-02-23 03:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by hollaatyagirlt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, long distance things don't usually work, especially if she is young. I think it's pretty strange for her to have a relationship with you brother too. I think maybe you should giver her some space, and just see what happens.
A lot of times when a girl is doing something that she should not be doing while in a relationship, she will try to turn it around on you and make you look like the bad guy. Like getting upset over a joking remark!
She just sounds very immature and I think you may be better off without all the drama.
2007-02-23 03:22:49 · answer #5 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure if you both work on your relationship and want it to work out - you can try to build the trust again. I would try and get that issue resolved before you talk about future plans. If you are fighting about petty issues and breaking up over those kinds of things, I would sit down with your gf and try and have a good heart to heart conversation about what the real problem is. The little fights are not what's important - its the other deeper issues that you need to address. If you want to be with her, you should romance her a little - tell her how important she is to you, make a special effort to let her know how much you care. Good luck
2007-02-23 03:36:06 · answer #6 · answered by kimiq_ca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like ur gf has some issues with getting pissed off for no reason. As for the whole reopening thing.....just tell her how u feel, dont lie and listen to what she has to say....make sure u listen to her feelings as well as ur own. Get over the fact that she cheated and start to trust her again...i know thats hard cuz i have been cheated on before. Maybe u should just go out with her for a whole day a spend some time together...alone.
If u or any of ur friends need advice on dating my e-mail address is Darklife_of_love@yahoo.com or if u just wanna talk...im always here.
2007-02-23 03:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by darkness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relations are hard... maybe these little fights are a sign that maybe both of you are not as compatible as u thought. Give her some time to cool, and ask her what has really been bothering her. Have you met in person before? How long have you had this relationship... I was taken with someone online before... for about a year .. back and forth with the phone and net... but when we actually met... it was not the same... and did not work out... if it was meant to be it will be... dont worry.
2007-02-23 03:23:54 · answer #8 · answered by c_leoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is complicated. The fact that she cheated as revenge is a little scary! The fact that you guys argue all the time over petty things doesn't look too good either. A rough patch? Maybe. Just make sure you guys are not together just because it's convenient, which it kinda sounds like. Sometimes a relationship just isn't worth the effort and in the future you'll wonder why you wasted so much time on it.
2007-02-23 03:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She sounds kind of manipulative. But on the other side of things insulting your girlfriend or having 'insult flinging back and forth' fights is no way to have a relationship grow. Does she know some of the reason you don't open up is because of previous cheating?? I think that would definitely make if difficult to trust and open your heart and feelings to someone again. Talk to her about that if she doesn't know. Let her know you are working on it. Good luck.
2007-02-23 03:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by DebChick 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋