My brother is going to be 21 in May and he acts like he is 13. Same with his friend who is the same age. They go to the beach, stand on rocks and play swords with bamboo sticks!! They have both never had a girlfriend, but I know that they are not gay, because they talk about girls all the time. How do I get them to act their age, and to maybe not be so shy and find a girlfriend, because I think a girlfriend would do them some good and make them grow up.
2007-02-23 03:12:03 · 45 answers · asked by victoria_lee07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They are mature.. real fun is what they are doing. So, dont worry about them. Bringing a girlfriend in their life may ruin their fun. Talk to them if they really want a girlfriend.. teach them how to get one.
2007-02-23 03:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by hmmm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that is is normal now days to still act a little immature at 21 because adolescense is longer (i guess you could say) nowadays. Most people go to college and are still in school until they are around 23 or 24 years old. They are still somewhat supported by their parents until they move out and get a job. People are not starting their lives as adults until then. Just give him time and he will grow up eventually.
I would say that one thing you could do is try to get him to hang out with some of your friends around the same age as him so he can get to know some girls and feel more comfortable being aroudn the opposite sex. This might make him more interested in girls and want to get a girlfriend. Just because he doesn't have a girlfriend doesn't mean that he is immature. Just give him time.
2007-02-23 03:20:43 · answer #2 · answered by Crysta 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A MANS POINT OF VIEW
I'm 26 and very mature, BUT sword fighting is FUN get over it! I pay bill have my own place own car the whole nine.
But why do we have to act like playing basketball, football, and video game are immatue!
Honestly, If you brother has never had a girlfriend thats why he acts like that.
If It wasn't for women ALL MEN would still be playing basketball every weekend and Football in the streets and Video games after that when we get tired.
Men don't EVER mature, we just find a women who can tolerate our immaute moments!
2007-02-23 03:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people never grow up. It's totally normal for guys to be big dorks. I think eventually they will grow up. Are they in school? Usually school makes a huge impression on people. I do agree that by the age of 21 he should be growing up a little bit. This is kinda interesting being in this particular situation. The reason I mention school is because you meet people and learn to socialize. Maybe you could help by taking them out to the movies and just teaching them how to be social. Go to dinner, go play golf, hang on the beach. Stuff like that. Hope this helps.
2007-02-23 03:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by SkooL BoY 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you 100% that having a girlfriend would help them but only so much. I'm sure you already know that girls mature much quicker than boys, which is why we men are such babies until we're in our mid thirties :-) (some of us don't fully mature until we're in our forties...the term "late bloomer" comes to mind) As far as your brother and his friend are concerned, there's nothing wrong with them. They're just taking a little longer to mature than usual, that's all. In some cases, it's quite natural for men in their twenties to act like teenagers. Not to get all scientific with you but the bottom line is your brother's genetic makeup isn't going to allow him to fully mature for a while. Now sometimes people "grow up quickly" because of a tradgedy, or an event that completely changes them. That's got nothing to do with chemicals or gender, it's simply adjusting to any given situation. So barring some unforeseen incident he's going to continue to act like a 13 year old until he naturally matures, or he gets a very good reason to mature very quickly. Either way your brother will be just fine. When he realizes that acting like he's 13 doesn't help him with the ladies, he'll change...trust me. I was much the same way when I was in college and I got the message very loud and very cleary (from the woman who eventually became my wife). Good luck and tell your brother to be careful with those bamboo sticks...he could put someone's eye out! lol :-)
2007-02-23 03:23:03 · answer #5 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Victoria,
Generally the males of our species are much less inclined to mature then the females. This is the reason that so many more boys are born then girls. They take all sorts of chances and are generally the ones that do not survive in auto accidents and crazy things of that sort. I would allow him to mature at his own pace. It certainly would not hurt for you to introduce him to someone who is caring that you believe would be good for him but don't expect her to feel the same way about him if he acts too immature in front of her. He will very likely find a great girl in his own time. I might suggest that you take him to church and find a young lady who attends on a regular basis and is steadfast in her study of GOD's WORD that is the type of person that I would want my brother to be attached to if it were me. She might make a lasting impression on him that would be absolutely fantastic for him. Have a great weekend and a wonderful Lord's Day!
Thanks,
Eds
2007-02-23 03:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by Eds 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its great for people to still act young while they're getting older. Theres nothing wrong with that. I personally really like guys like that, you always know that you're going to be able to have fun with them. What sucks is when people turn 21 and they think that they have to start acting all serious just because they're adults now. So its great that your brother is so laid back and fun. Just enjoy it, and try to act a little younger yourself. You'll live a longer and happier life. I think we should all just let loose and act childish once in awhile. We'd get along better and have more fun that way. So maybe instead of you trying to help him, you should let him help you learn to have a little fun and loosen up.
2007-02-23 03:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your bro and his friends are NERDS!Nothing wrong with that, but there's a time and a place for everything. It's okay if they act like that at home, but not in public, in the presence of girls. Yuck. What a turn-off.
You need to put your female instict to work pronto! Otherwise they're BOTH gonna end up single and date-less and working at a video games store. Or, like the 40 year old virgin!(Gasp!)
Why don't you make up a secret admirer? Tell your bro you know a girl who likes him, but that the whole "peter-pan" attitude is turning her off! See, maybe he just needs a little incentive. Once he acts his age, he won't have trouble getting girls all on his own, and he'll have YOU to thank for it!! Or, here's a thought, if he's really into computers, why don't you sign him up for e-harmony, that way, he'll learn how to talk to girls first BEFORE he actually meets 'em!!
2007-02-23 03:23:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
21? 21? that is not a grown up, especially boys! Let them act like kids and have fun because as long as they are not hurting anyone and go to school or have jobs then girls will come later. They have time, they don't have to grow up so fast!
2007-02-23 03:18:09 · answer #9 · answered by micah z 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you could start by just helping them clean up thier image. They don't have to completely grow up to have a girlfriend but they just need to watch what they do and say around others because that can put girls off. Talk to them about what girls like in a guy. How they need to act around girls and what to say to them. But don't make them lose themselves just to get a woman. Sooner or later she will find out what he's like and you know what... there are girls out there that like an immature man like him and his friend. They just have to get to the point where even those girls will look at them.
2007-02-23 03:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋