Christians -- so I just need to believe? Alright, how do I do this [see details]?

Question

I am not an atheist by choice. In fact, I was fighting tooth and nail to save my faith when I became an atheist.

I read the Bible every single day, keeping the idea of God first and foremost in my mind.

I spent hours a day, every day, in quiet meditation of the world and of Jesus. At times anger would flow and I would scream and demand He do something, others times utter capitulation, begging and pleading that he would save me. I would meditate on the vision that blasted me to my knees and convicted me of my sins when I was Born Again and left me sobbing for hours because I knew I was nothing without Christ.

I went on prayerful retreats most weekends to be surrounded by well rooted and well taught believers.

I surrounded myself with prayer circles and Bible studies.


Yet God never answered, and so against my will at the time, I found myself an atheist.

I did not choose to be an atheist.

So, what would you recommend I try different to try to reclaim my faith?

gtah:

If the Bible is correct as I used to believe and as Christians do believe... reclaiming my faith WOULD be trying to get a life, an eternal one, would it not?

primoa:

Been there, done that. I spent three years in utter faith that he would restore what I had lost. For three years, that faith that there was a purpose for my loss was all that kept me going.

He never revealed a purpose nor restored what was lost.

Those asking what I was praying for:

I was praying for a renewal of faith. Nothing more.

Primoa:

How can I praise that which I can no longer believe in? It would be lying, and last I checked, lying to God would be a bad thing.

Even the New Testament teaches that the first step is not Man's but God's. It's up to God to sense the spirit of understanding so that we can have faith to believe.

Just My:

So if the Spirit of Understanding must come from God before one can have faith (as the NT teaches), then you're asserting that God is willing me to be an atheist if He does not send the Spirit of Understanding as I prayed for.

Are you a Calvinist, by chance?

Midge:

Obedience without faith is hypocracy -- acting against one's beliefs.

This is a no-no according to the Bible.

se-ke:

I agree. All I would need is to believe again.

So how do I do that? Belief is not a choice -- we believe the things we believe because they have been show to be true in our experience.

So what must I experience to again believe in the Christian faith?

nesh_tea:

I'm aware that the experience of God is in the heart and not the head. I am aware of this because, as I said, I was literally blasted to my knees in utter conviction of my sins by a vision I had, and gave up my sinful nature to God and believed he had given me a new nature, according to Jesus's promises in the NT. Hence why I say I was, in fact, Born Again.

I would do anything in the world to feel that again. I'm not an atheist by choice. I'm an atheist because my experiences no longer support the conclusion of the Christian faith.

Meg:

*nods* The line is always open. I am who I am and what I am because I try to be honest and truthful in all things.

If Christianity is the Truth, I will follow it to the ends of the Earth, but God's gonna have to make the call.

I recently, a few months ago, attended Synagogue at the local Reform Judaism synagogue as a visitor. The Rabbi knew I was an atheist, and when I reminded him at the Synagogue, he laughed, smiled, and patted my shoulder and said something to the effect of, "Does it matter if you're an atheist? Or does it matter that you're seeking the truth? Truth be told, atheist or no, you are exactly where God has planned you to be, because who you are NOW is what He needs and wants for you to be NOW. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow will come. You are for the Now, and you can be no other way."

That blew me away.

Answer 1

>> So, what would you recommend I try different to try to reclaim my faith?...Even the New Testament teaches that the first step is not Man's but God's.<<

You've done everything humanly possibly. The ball's in His court now. Just keep the line open.

P.S. You've always been my favorite atheist here.

Answer 2

If you did not choose of your own free will to become an atheist, who made the decision for you?
You want to regain your faith and become stronger on the Lord yet you are so quick to quit and give up if you don't hear from God. Perhaps what you need to do is just relax and wait for the answer to find you. Thank Him for all the blessings in your life and praise Him for the ones that are on the way. The more you bless and praise and thank God, the more of His blessings will flow out from Heaven and over take you. Do not get so busy for God that you forget to listen. He will answer you in the appointed time according to His will for your life.
My guess is that you know within your spirit what His plan and purpose is for you. You either have decided to ignore it or refuse to accept or believe it.
Turn your eyes toward the good things of God and look not on the cares of this world. You will find that which you seek as long as you are patient and obedient to His instructions.

Answer 3

You want to be saved? Just accept Jesus and you have done that and at that moment you were saved. By the way, here's one tip:

You're one of God's children right? You said you begged Him to save you and somehow communicate with you right? You wanted to be an instrument of Him, to help others in His name doing great things probably. The thing is, you don't beg or plead Him. Sons do not beg from their fathers. You only need to ask and He will give it.

God doesn't answer people literally. There won't be that booming voice in your head (well, its rare) God speaks to you in your heart.

I know what you've been going through. Back then, I demanded proof of His existence. I prayed, talked to Him so much and pleaded He show me a sign. Any sign. then I had advice from someone, God speaks to you in your heart he said.

I was amazed they could do prophecy, equally amazed when I found out so many could do it and even I could do it. So what I did was talk to Him in my heart then, imagine His response. Over time, this response was real in a way. Then I could prophesy already.

God loves you so much and wants you back. He was always there when you cried out to Him, always there when you needed that answer. That vision which blasted you seemed to be His answer, it was then He made His presence known. Well, hope you renew your faith on this!:) God Bless!

Answer 4

JP...of course you chose to be an atheist. Choice involves...no one held a gun to your head. If you did all those things and still had doubts I am sorry because some one should have told you...God does not just toss down from heaven what we pray for. He has a plan for our life...it may not be the same plan we have. A friend once told me when I was going through a faith struggle...listen, if you quit telling God what to do and allow Him to make the decisions, things will get better.

We do not turn our back on God simply because we do not get what we want...at least not once we grow up. We realize that God will answer our prayers in His time and in His way.
2 cents

Answer 5

First of all, even Satan believes. That is not enough. You must also repent from your sins. This means you must turn against your natural inclination to sin. Yes, you will fail, because that is the nature of man. But once you truly accept Jesus as your Savior, and purpose in your heart to live your life as He would live it, God will not let you fall away. Remember, there IS no snatching away from the Father.
We all go through times of testing, and dry spells where we don't feel His Love. But feelings have nothing to do with salvation. I, too, went through a period where I felt that I was being forced away from God. But eventually, He found a way to bring me back. He will do the same for you. Look for a good nondenominational church. I found one that spends its time feeding the poor and cleaning up drug addicts. They also proclaim the true Gospel of Christ. You need to find something similar. Be assured that God holds you in His hand, or you would not CARE about your future.

Answer 6

Sounds like the problem most people have with salvation...they try too hard when there is nothing more to do other than accept Jesus, ask forgiveness and surrender one's life to God. Could be the control issue that draws people away. It is not easy to give total surrender to our Lord's will. Also, the relationship issue with God is overlooked. You, like many, did everything you knew to get closer to God when all He wanted was you. Ironic that this would be difficult but the reality is that we stand in the way of having an intimate relationship with God...He is just waiting for us to come to Him to develop a relationship with Him not in the form of book knowledge. Many Christians replace a relationship with God with reading, studying and researching Him forever and not Getting to know Him as a Loving Father. Anyone can read a book about you but only those who know you, those you allow in your life, those you have a relationship with, can call you a friend.

Answer 7

You must be obedient even if he doesn't answer you. This is your particular test. Mother Theresa told someone that she never experienced one minute of religious consolation her whole religious life and so because of this she knew she was doing what she should. She knew that the Lord TRUSTED her enough to remain faithful. The more she was faithful, the drier her faith life got and the more she rejoiced. This is faith. At the end of her life as she was dieing in bed she received the biggest reward possible. They say the Lord himself came to her. How beautiful. Some people have certain tasks that they must perform and for those people they are especially anointed because they need to put away the pride that makes them want God to dance to their music and not the other way around.

P.S. I really like your posts

Answer 8

You can surround yourself with EVERYTHING and still remain confused and lost, but without a personal relationship with Jesus first and foremost, you'll have NOTHING. With this relationship comes repentance for your sins, a changed life and the Holy Spirit indwelling you. THEN when you pray, get into The Word, Bible studies, you will have the faith, trust and understanding that surpasses human understanding!! As far as answered prayer, we must wait on God's timing and God's will be done, not ours. Maybe God is waiting for you to come to Him thru His Son?? Believe me, God knows your heart, but you need to ask Jesus into your heart first. Jesus said, "You receive not because you ask not". Trust the Lord and don't expect leaps and bounds immediately. When we are born again, we start as baby christians and GROW with the Mercy and Grace of God thru our faith in the One (Jesus) who loves us just the way we are, but refuses to leave us that way (in our sinful natures). Grace be to you.

Answer 9

What kind of faith do you wish to reclaim?
What do you expect from God?

It is my understanding that He rarely speaks directly to people; when He does, that person is then supposed to give everyone else the message. They are called prophets.

It is up to us to change ourselves and therefore change the world.
It is we who do not listen, who do not live according to what God intended as the best way, at the same time leaving us all liberty to choose.

He is waiting for us. The message is simple - love one another, be truthful, forgive. He would rather have an atheist who does His Will than a believer who doesn't.

I highly recommend reading "The Revelation of Arès". It can be ordered from any bookstore or at www.adira.net

with loving consideration,
djd

Answer 10

I would recommend going to a Holy Ghost revival, Pentecostal services are usually good for convincing one God exists. Not United Pentecostal. When a person who has the gift of prophesy and tells you a word from the Lord and it comes to pass, or you hear a message in tongues and the interpretation and its like God is reading your mail, that's convincing. God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we want, but He will answer them in His timing. Faith is necessary, don't try to figure everything out, or explain everything away. I hope you will try again and don't make demands from God, He is good and will answer a sincere heart.