his best friend.I told him to stop flirting with her because they hung out once alone behing my back. He told me he'd tell her to stop flirting. Eventually he told her and she still flirts with him.Then I told him to cut off all connections because I didn't feel comfortable with their relationship because she didn't know how to control her feelings.She also hates my guts and talks about me to a lot of girls. Point is, he hasn't stopped talking to her. I know before we were going out they both had feelings for eachother,and idk if they still do. Should I call it quits?
* Also, I blame him for not stopping this.He is the one in a relationship, not her.
2007-02-23 02:57:09 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she is his best friend, then telling him to cut off all connections is a bit drastic. How would you like it if he told you who you could and couldn't have as a friend?
Remember he is an adolescent boy with testosterone running riot, pressures of status in his peer group, animal instincts at full effect but his ability to be sensible and act like an adult not fully developed. So even if he loves you and does not want to betray you or dump you, he may need your help to avoid falling prey to this other girl. It is perfectly normal for him to be attracted to other women and sometimes this can be overwhelming. The important thing is what he does about it.
If she is really his friend, she should respect the fact that he is in a relationship and not be flirting with him. However, as he's in a relationship maybe she figures that it won't go any further so it is safe and fun to flirt without any risk of it turning serious.
You do need to have a talk with your bf about it, but the main emphasis should be on the fact that you feel frightened that he might cheat on you or leave you. You need to be nice and reasonable to him though. If you tell him he's bad and demand sacrifices then you are more likely to drive him away. If you are extra nice to him and flirt with him and can be his confidante, he will have less reason to spend time with the other girl. The key is to do a lot of talking with him about how you both feel about the situation. You may come to the conclusion that you ought to split, or you might get over the problem. Do not worry about who is to blame. Concentrate on what the problem actually is and who needs to do what to fix the problem.
You have to give him the freedom to be a good bf. If you force him to be a good bf, you'll always be paranoid that he only meets the standard because you force him to.
If he continues to be a bad bf, and it makes you feel bad, then the only sensible thing to do is dump him because the two of you are obviously temperamentally unsuited. But give him a warning before you do it. If that does not work, then get rid of him.
You are all at school so not experienced in the complexities of human relationships. Whatever happens will be unpredictable, but you should be able to learn from it.
2007-02-23 03:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by lawomicron 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its suck when it happened to you. Hey you know what is "trust" means? If you do, you should know better???? If you trust your boyfriend then you don't need to worry about it. If you dont trust your boyfriend then you have to tell him that you don't trust him because of her playin his mind then everything will mess up. If your boyfriend says nah she wont do it then have him PROVE you that he won't let it happen because he has to be want you so bad and keep you. So you said they had history before you, means your boyfriend already moved on but she doesn't. Maybe you can try find a way to teach her how to move on. Since you are not friend of her but you can find a way. If you want your boyfriend talk to her about it, go ahead, up to you. First focus on your boyfriend if you trust him enough. Communicate, trust and love are important in relationship.
If you have you own real gut to face her, do it, tell her to move on and she can't have your boyfriend, ignore other people look at you the way you are but you have to do it because you want your boyfriend. think about it. Good luck.
2007-02-23 11:05:31 · answer #2 · answered by MissGal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK....woooooah! This is a littlt weird cuz that tooooootally happened to me, except i didn't tell him to stop to his face, I "told" my friend and she told him. He got mad at me for not "letting" him talk to her....but he still did. Poin is, he broke up w/ me and is now going out w/ his best friend....the girl who flirted w/ him....well i think, i know this might hurt, but i think you should call it quits before he does....beat him to the punch...remember there are a lot of other guys out there....:) u can do better
2007-02-23 11:04:32 · answer #3 · answered by Saya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe u shld tlk 2 him one last time and tell him 2 really quit and u r REALLY serious! then if it keeps happening END IT! its his loss and u need 2 explain 2 him tat u dont like it maybe u culd also tlk 2 the girl and tell her to quit but end it if it happens again
2007-02-23 11:03:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mannie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he won't stop flirting with her and talking to her i say call it quits so they can be together so u won't have to worry about him anymore. he sounds like he is no good for u so i say move on and find a guy that likes u for u and won;t treat u like shi*. good luck chica.
2007-02-23 11:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to call it quits now before you get hurt anymore...you have to be the one to call it off and hold your head up high
2007-02-23 11:02:19 · answer #6 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is his fault, he just wont let go of her, he enjoys the flirting..you cant change them now.. it might be too late to ever trust him again.
2007-02-23 11:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by wongfiehung2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋