Honestly, what is it? I am a nice woman, in my early 40's. I am divorced and desire a relationship but I don't have what guys want. I have dated some since my divorce. I am independant and fun loving. I am intelligent. A little over weight but I'm not HUGE! Help me out here...
Thanks
2007-02-23 02:47:25 · 19 answers · asked by Aunt Murry 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Correction. You don't have what SOME guys want. All guys are not the same. There is no single, magic thing that will get you a guy... at least, not a decent one! There are plenty of divorced, 40+ year olds out there that are dating and doing fine. Of course, there are plenty who are not. I wonder three things about you that might shed light on this subject.
1. What is your general attitude about yourself? Are you depressed? Are you confident? You say you are independent, fun, and intelligent. But do you ACT like it? If you are introverted or shy or appear sad, it is going to make men think you are not interested. If you have depression problems or self-esteem problems, the first step to starting a healthy relationship will be to diagnose and treat the depression! For more information on this, talk to your doctor.
2. What are YOU looking for? If you are looking for a Brad Pitt, but you look and act like Rosie O'Donnell, you are not likely going to find that kind of guy. Make sure you are being realistic in what you want in a guy. Don't settle! But don't be unrealistic, either. No one is perfect. So what is really important to you? What do you want the person to be interested in? What kind of values should they have? Goals? Career? Beliefs? Hobbies? Figure out what you want in a man, and then start looking!
3. This might be the most important question: where are you looking? After you have examined yourself and figured out what it is you are looking for, you have to figure out where the person you want is going to be. If you are into intelligent, well-read people, you are not going to want to be looking at bars, for example. The best thing you can do is get involved! Get involved in activities that you are interested in. Join clubs. Join religious organizations (or non-religious if you're not like that). Volunteer to help people in the community. Get out! Expose yourself to as many people as you can.
It is really not a matter of you being what a man wants. It is a matter of finding the man that wants you! It is hard, but it can be done. Get out there and see what happens! Even if you do not find the guy, you'll have fun and will meet people. You are the great person you are, independently of who you are or are not with. Define yourself based on what you are, not what you have. What you are is you, and you are great, just like you are.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 03:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly high school is just a bunch of superficial kids. I say work on making yourself happy and when you get to college there will be lot's of good guys coming after you. I have always liked girls that are different. I could never stand preppy trendy cheer leaders, or popular girls. I had a very hard time in high school because people thought I was a nerd. But after, I got so much attention I didn't know what happened. So don't rush things and don't give up. People that act popular will never care about you. Don't give in to scummy guys, but look more toward the cute somewhat nerdy guys that smile at you but are too shy to talk to you. They will work harder to make you happy.
2016-05-24 02:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience with divorced men in that age group is, they have already come out of a bad marriage and don't want to go that way again. They would much rather date with "benefits", have some fun, and then move on to another. It is safer that way for them, because then they don't have to think about marriage. They seem to like the bachelor life. And with internet dating, there is no end to the variety. Hang in there. It took me several years, but I did finally find a great guy! Don't lower your standards for them and don't look at yourself negatively. It is only a matter of finding the "right" one.
2007-02-23 02:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, im a guy so... well i like a woman who is an independant thinker, is out going, has an interest in global and local current events, has a funny ironic silly sence of humor, guess that all i can think of for now
2007-02-23 03:15:34 · answer #4 · answered by msmcleod_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Murry
Guys are looking for someone they know that they can trust, someone who will be with them through thick and thin, who will be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on and just to comfort them in need. Someone to have fun with, someone who they can sit down with and just talk about ANYTHING and they don't mind just listening. someone they can wake up in the middle of the night and ask to hold them. Guys are looking for someone who will except them for who they are and not for what they have or can give. and someone who will respect them.
Believe me I know, cause I'm looking for that someone now for the past two years.
Hope my answer helps.
God Bless
2007-02-23 02:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by Jacques G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I have been trying to figure that one out myself. I think its all in the guy. But who cares what they want, it's what you want. Change the question - what are you looking for in a guy. Come up with that answer and then start looking.
2007-02-23 02:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by kizdrop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have it! As long as you are confindent and secure then there should not be a problem. You are probably looking in the wrong places. It will happen when you least expect it
2007-02-23 02:52:10 · answer #7 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try speed dating
2007-02-23 02:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The overweight part is probably part of it. Work out and lose weight.
Don't play hard to get, either.
2007-02-23 02:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok i now im not a guy, but i know that every guy is different. Just remember that there is someone out there for everyone!
2007-02-23 02:52:19 · answer #10 · answered by smiles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋