I live in NH and am in my twenties. My husband of 4 years (we have no children) wrote me a note! and said that he is in love with someone else and wants me to move out of our rented apartment (I could afford to live here on my own for awhile). I'm hoping there are some wise people out there who can help me sort out the financial end (I have an older woman helping me deal with this emotionally). Please, no comments about my husband. Just some sound advice from you folks who are in the know and can help me avoid some pitfalls and protect myself in this area.
2007-02-23 02:29:18 · 11 answers · asked by Serena 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Credit
WOW! I'm so overwhelmed that there are caring people out there so ready to help. I can't thank you enough...if you think of anything else, please add it to this site which I'm checking regularly!
2007-02-23 04:37:52 · update #1
If you can at all afford it, get an attorney. I'd recommend getting prepaid legal services (works like insurance for legal matters), then getting an attorney through them. You should get more desirable divorce provisions due to his infidelity regardless of whether he consummated that physically or not.
About the financial matters, I'd recommend canceling any cards that are under both your names or getting his name removed from them if you're the primary. For mutual bank accounts, you should immediately withdraw at least half of all the money and open your own account so he does not have access to it. This may seem harsh, but you have to look out for #1. Like the saying goes, "If I'm not for myself, who will be?"
For the most part, debts and savings should be split 50/50, and he should have to pay alimony for breaking up the marriage. If you have a joint lease and you move out, get your name off it so you're not held responsible. If you have vehicles with both names, don't forget to either get it in just your name or get compensation for losing that if he gets it.
Ultimately, there are too many issues to fully cover in this forum. You should probably get an attorney, but if you can't afford that, I have some experience with these financial issues, so feel free to contact me at coolguyctdd@yahoo.com.
You can get prepaid legal services at the link below. I signed up there and they're definitely worth it, even if you only use them for a speeding ticket, that will cover your cost for the service.
2007-02-23 02:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by C D 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might not need a lawyer with not kids or not owning a house. If you have a saving account I would take it out and put it in another account for protection for now. Discuss with him about closing out the cards and a peacefully divide of the debt of them if possible. Then you can use a divorce service which is cheaper that a lawyer. If the two of you cant come to agreeable terms then consult a lawyer. If that is the case, get a good lawyer don't spare expense there. I have seen first hand on several occasions where a good lawyer can make a huge difference. Talk to some professionals who use lawyers and get recommendations. Good luck. You could always leave him a note saying you are so glad this came up, you were going to do the same thing because you had found someone else but have been afraid to tell him, except you want him to move out.
2007-02-23 02:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by D'Artagnan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consult a lawyer and a financial advisor.
Get a legal separation and close all accounts you hold jointly. The legal separation MAY (I'm not sure about this) protect you from being liable for debts incurred by him after the separation.
If you have more assets than he does and there was no pre-nup, I'm not sure what the smartest thing to do is, but that would be a question for the attorney.
Get some proof of his adultery, if you stand to lose anything from a divorce. This might give you a better position in court. Again, a question for an attorney.
Good Luck!
2007-02-23 02:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by oj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You first of all, need to see an attorney. I'm assuming you will get divorced.
Second, call all the credit card companies and cancel the account. You can apply for a new card in your name only. You do not want any joint accounts with him. You can be held responsible for anything he charges so you want all joint accounts closed.
As far as the joint bank account, if he is hopefully honest, he'll split whatever is in there with you. If he's not, he's probably already withdrawn all the money.
Open a new bank account in your name only. DO NOT deposit any more money into the joint account.
Who's name is on the lease for the apartment? If both of your names are on the lease, you will both be liable for the lease until it is over. If you move out, go to the landlord and get the lease put in his name only. (he'd have to go with you and agree to it) but if you're not living there, you do not want your name on that lease. You would be liable for any damage he does, and any payments he misses.
2007-02-23 02:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Faye H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since he is the one that is breaking up the union, he ought to be the one that needs to move out. If he is making you move out, he should pay for your moving expenses.
He needs to pay you for half of the apartment deposit.
He needs to assume half of whatever debt the two of you accrued as a couple. The other half is yours.
If the car(s) are held in joint ownership, he needs to buy out his half of whichever he is going to keep, and the opposite for the one you keep.
If he makes more money than you, you are owed alimony, or some housing income stipend.
Talk to a lawyer. See if you can get an injunction so that he cannot move your stuff out without you saying so or at least being there.
2007-02-23 02:45:43 · answer #5 · answered by anon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cancel all your joint accounts and open your own. This way, creditors can't come after you for money he owes.
As someone said, get yourself an attorney. They'll advise you on how to handles the apartment, cars, and other assets you share.
2007-02-23 03:34:08 · answer #6 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
anything you have in "shared" accounts needs to be frozen. That means you can't use it - but he can't either. So you would have to get an independent card. As for other financial stuff....look into what "they" could go after you if hubby does not make payments.
2007-02-23 02:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by ButwhatdoIno? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is burdening you on moving out to find a new place......take all the money and cancel the credit cards immidiatly before he uses them for his new g/f or b/f whichever he prefers...because you would equally responsible if runs them to the limit...and you do not cnacel yours.
2007-02-23 02:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cancel your credit card, and talk to him about what he wants to do with the bank account...if you know how much is yours take what belongs to you...Cause he can be a dick and take it all. Be careful
2007-02-23 02:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by Gloria B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to a lawyer before you do anything and do not use his lawyer.
2007-02-23 02:33:47 · answer #10 · answered by Mark W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋