my father died on June 14th 2006. and there are alot of thing that come along. like his friend and things he loved to do that alway remind me of him. I still catch my self crying over little thing that remind me of his ways and can't get myself to go to his grave very much because I just break down and cry. How can I control these feelings? It's hard for me till this day even that I know he is in a better place. He is with lots of family and friends and not in pain anymore. Why do I feel I could have done more to keep him alive. My husband tells me that there wasn't anything else I could have done because I done my best to take care of him while he was here..
2007-02-23 01:39:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Its diffrent for everyone.
Sorry for your loss.
Take your time.
2007-02-23 01:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by matt_archbold2002 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Each person deals with a loss a different way. The void is there until you leave this earth, it is how a person deals with their loss over time that determines perspective.
In the grieving process it is important to understand that just because a loved one is gone it doesn't mean a person forgets them. For you it sounds like you are still in the stage that believes he should be here on earth. Try to adjust to the fact that he is gone and that you miss him, it's okay to miss him but you also have to be able to go on with your life here on earth; this is easier said than done, so take one day at a time or 1 minute at a time until you feel different about the loss.
Felling different about the departure doesn't mean you won't have the feelings of loss that you now have, it just means that you would have dealt with the fact that even though you miss him and may have a hard time letting him go, things are better for you.
It's never easy to lose a loved one, but by living our lives and putting to action the things our loved ones taught us is another way of never forgetting their memory.
Hope this helps
I hope things get better for you. Am sure your dad was a wonderful man.
2007-02-23 01:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by dymps 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother 8/20/01. 20 days before my 30th birthday. She was my best friend whom I took care of as long as I can remember because she had been sick as long as I can remember. I still cry when I think about how she suffered, watching here die, making the decision to "pull the plug". But now I try to remember the good things (sometimes I still cry). I can promise you this....you will always feel that loss but it will get easier on your heart as time goes by. I wish you all the best and I pray that you find comfort in knowing that he is in a better place.
2007-02-23 05:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I don't think that you will ever get over the loss of your father. The pain will stay with you. I lost my aunt when I was 7, I'm 22 now and still find myself sheading a few tears. Try to remember all the happy times you and your father had while he was alive and relive those over and over again. What helped me with the pain was I found a song that reminded me of my aunt, and I would listen to it and just sit and cry. Both tears of joy and tears of saddness. I would remember all the good times she and I shared. About going to your father's grave, it's okay to break down and cry while you are there, it's part of the healing process. Good luck with everything, and again I'm so sorry to hear about your father.
2007-02-23 03:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That’s like asking the old age question,
“How many licks dose it take to get to the center of the Tootsies Roll pop?”
Everyone’s licks won’t be the same, and are heart won’t heal the same, it takes time and more time, but the one thing you have to remember is to never stop forget about your father, remember the good time you spent with him, you saw him fixing thing around the house, and yes remember the bad things to like when he was mad it you, when you knew you were in the wrong but now you look back on it and say he was just doing he’s job as a father.
You should always remember the ones you love, and it ok to cry from time to time, that just means they’ll always be on your mind and in your heart. You sound to me to be doing fine, it ok to let you feeling show how much you love and miss your dad.
So never forget how much you love him and remember he know you love him too.
Stay cool and keep on smiling :-0)
2007-02-23 07:35:55 · answer #5 · answered by choiceav 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, very very sorry for your loss. My dad passed in 1984 I was still a teenager it hurt for so long that I didn't think I would be able to carry on with crying however life keeps moving and you keep going. The first year is the toughest! The holidays, birthdays, anniversary's.... all tough but gets easier as the years go on.... My children know all about my dad,even though they never ever met him, because I told them all about their grandfather. I go to his grave often to talk with him, I keep all of my memories of him in my heart and knowing he is in a better place where he is healthy makes me happier than having him sick. The love, the memories you share with a person just don't disappear because you loose the person, you can keep them alive! It gets better, give your self the time to heal and you will begin to feel better. You do not forget them you just learn to relive without seeing them!
2007-02-23 03:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it takes a long time. I think even though you break down go to his grave and talk to him. I believe that he can hear you and there is always going to be memories but there good memories. You are lucky that you had you're father in you're life as long as you did. My friend passed away last year in a car accident she left behind her 7yr old son. And he didn't grieve until months later. It's okay to grieve but you're father is still with you. Like you said he is in a better place and he is not in pain so be grateful he is at peace. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-02-23 01:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by Shorty 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are still grieving, you will never stop thinking about him ever however the crying will stop in time. I've lost people in my family also and the dull ache in your heart will eventually fade but you never ever forget them. I think maybe you should talk to a counsellor they will help you. Some people dont ever grieve immediately they react later it could take them years you are just the opposite which is a good thing. You only lost your dad last year give yourself more time. Time is a great healer it may not happen tomorrow but will some day.
2007-02-23 01:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by Marlboro 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There's no time limit. You will always grieve for you father and miss him for the rest of your life. The tears will eventually become less and less however, I think because you must have been close, there will always be something that will trigger the tears.
Don't be hard on yourself. You couldn't have kept him going. You also need to stop thinking that you have to be over it by a certain time....you lost your Dad...and you will always miss him.
2007-02-23 01:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not fair to yourself to put a time table on something like this. Give yourself plenty of time, but if its getting in the way of you moving on with your life, then perhaps you should seek therapy. It's good to have somebody to talk to about your feelings. You need to try real hard to not let yourself get caught up in what if's, thats a dead end street and will just cause you more sorrow. God bless and good luck.
2007-02-23 02:03:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only time will heal granted you will never stop thinking about him or cry about him once in a while it will get easier just give it some time, I am so sorry to hear about your loss and i know how much it hurts!
2007-02-23 02:57:32 · answer #11 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋