Well I am 17 and am getting married to my girlfriend in May and want to ask for for your alls opinions. My mother (my biologicial mother, not my adoptive one who I have no relationship with anymore) is very religious and would like for me and my fiancee to marry in a church with my fiancee in a white dress and me in white tuxedo. I disagree. First I dont want a church wedding I am not religious (I do beleive in God though)and can not afford a wedding in church. I would prefer a wedding at the courthouse. Also the white dress. I am obviously not a virgin I have a 3 year old daughter who lives with me (my fiancee is not her mother) and I live with my fiancee as well and it is not platonic either (between my fianccee and me). My fiancee doesnot want a white dress because she is not a virgin either as we have had sex before plus both of us have had sex with others. So white would be a lie for us to wear. Any one have any opinions on these two subjects?
2007-02-23 01:18:37 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Actually, white doesn't represent "purity".
so, if you two want white, then wear white. It has nothing to do with if you have had sex or not. Now, different religions still believe it, but in Christian and tradition, it doesn't.
You and your fiance's wedding. If your mother doesn't like it, then say you are sorry she feels that way, but this is what you and your fiance wants, not what everyone else wants. If you follow everyone else's wants, then who's wedding is it truly?
2007-02-23 04:28:23 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you are only 17 getting married. That is good but you need to really think because as you grow older you may grow apart. Everyone I knew at 17 has moved on to other relationships, and after 10 years had messy split-ups. I know you want a mother for your daughter and you may want to get married still. Well I do wish you luck because you still have the chance to make it. About the wedding tell your girl to remember how it looks when she closes her eyes and that is the kind of wedding she should have.
some people get married outside, and some at their home, your wedding should make you happy not someone else. If she wants to wear white or some other color that is her choice really because back in the day ti was not off white or cream the bride wore after loosing their virginity it was black or a dark brown. so remember ask her what her dream is because she has probably been dreaming of this day for along time,and you are only gonna marry once, make it her dream
2007-02-23 01:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, white does not symbolize purity as many people think it does. It used to be more of a sign of wealth, and the color for purity/virginity was actually blue (thats why the virgin Mary is always pictured in blue). So if thats the only thing holding you back from having a white dress, you can reconsider. I would venture to guess that less than 3% of people getting married are actually virgins...who cares!? do what you want. Talk to a minister at a church if you would consider getting married there, tell them everything you included in your question and find out the facts before you decide one way or another.
2007-02-23 02:15:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In today's world, wearing white is more tradition than it is to show that you are a virgin. Most people nowadays are not virgins when they get married. I would have her find a pretty white dress (not a wedding dress per say) and you where a nice suit (not white) I think white tuxes look stupid. As for the church you need to explain to your mom that you just can't afford it and it is not something that you want. It is your wedding don't forget
2007-02-23 01:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Molly SH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, it doesn't cost any money to have your wedding in a church except for the donation cost, thats it. Also, traditionally, women wear white dresses if they are a virgin. BUT, I don't think many people follow that anymore. A dress is a dress and really you should be able to wear whatever you want. By the way, don't you think your a little young to be married? 17? wow..
2007-02-23 02:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by Beffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing...this wedding is about the two of you, and not your mother. You two need to do what makes you two happy and comfortable not her. If you don't want a big church wedding, don't have one. There is no need to over extend yourself financially, especially if you have children, and there is definitely no need to start your marriage living what you would think of as a lie, i.e., the marriage in a church when neither of you are particularly religious, the white dress, etc. Sit down and tell your mom what it is that you want to do and tell her why. She should be happy for you regardless of whether you do things the way she wants or not. Remember to stand your ground, because this day is about the two of you, not her.
2007-02-23 01:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by stacijo531 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's no one else's decision but yours and your fiancee's. No one has the right to say you have to do it a certain way. It's your wedding. Marry where you want to marry. Wear what you want to wear. And the white=virginity thing is no longer the rule. White at weddings is just the tradition now. You don't have to be a virgin to wear it. Make the day special for you and your bride. It's your wedding.
2007-02-23 01:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by philyra2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee can go for ivory, or champagne coloured. They are as beautiful (if not more) than white, and no one can tell the difference. Don't get married in a church, its not your faith, your mother can have her own wedding in a church if she wants, but its important for you 2 to be happy.
2007-02-23 03:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jess*21* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The white dress is a historical fashion trend, first made popular by Queen Victoria. It's origins were fashion not virginity.
Your bride has every right and reason to wear white and her wedding. It is not a lie - it is fashion and tradition.
2007-02-23 01:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding and you need to do what fits your lifestyle. It sounds like you don't want to go with your mothers plans but, are not looking to hurt her feelings. Lets face it most mothers want to over help with the wedding of there children. Tell your mom you appreciate her input but you and your new wife will be able to plan this wedding on your own
2007-02-23 01:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋