Was he in the wrong?

Question

I met my boyfriend over a year and a half ago and we now live together and are very much in love.

At first, we "courted" for about four weeks, spending quite a lot of time together (three or four nights a week) and then he went on holiday to Spain with a friend. When he came back, I asked him to be my boyfriend officially and he agreed. Five or six months later, we were having a light-hearted chat and it came up that while he was on holiday during the first month, he had drukenly kissed somebody else in a club in Spain. He was not ashamed or apologetic in any way - he just said that's how dating goes. While he was very upfront about it we hadn't been together very long when it happened, I've felt betrayed ever since. He says he would never ever have done it had we been further into the relationship and never even looks at anybody else. However, was he wrong to kiss somebody else at that stage in our relationship? Did he do anything wrong?

Answer 1

Let it go. If you can't let it go, see if you can get help from a psychologist. Good luck.

Answer 2

Yes, he was definately wrong doing that. I also think it wasn't right that he wasnt sincere about it or atleast give you a respectful apology. The fact that he didn't and just told you thats how dating goes.. id feel hurt if my girlfriend did that to me because its basically saying yeah i kissed someone else but who cares i have a decent excuse for it. But if you've been dating him long enough and can take him at his word that it will never happen again, then so be it.. things do happen in relatonships and if you two are in love, leave this behind you. He did admit to it when he very well could have not told you at all and left you with no way of knowing this. I just think its both the trust issue, and the fact he wasn't too sincere about it that would leave me a bit upset. But Good luck to you and im sorry this had happened.

Answer 3

If you two were just dating, then he really didn't do anything wrong. At least it was just a kiss and nothing more. But he isn't in the wrong, because he kissed someone before you two were an official couple. Don't get on his case about it, if two have been together for 1 1/2 and its time to focus on now rather than something that happened when you two were dating.

Answer 4

Well, the situation does sound a tad complicated, I'd have to say yes, he was indeed on the wrong side for kissing another girl while he was with you. However, if he's shaped up since then, and you two have worked out the kinks, hopefully he will be a man of his word.

Answer 5

Technically if you are dating then you can see who ever you want. When I date I usually only date 1 person at a time or it will mix my feelings. He probably should have told you about it sooner. If he seems like the cheating kind, i would keep my eye on him. But otherwise I wouldn't sweat it if he really likes you.

Answer 6

You weren't dating offically yet...and had only known him a couple of weeks...cut him some slack. It wasn't exactly cheating! He was drunk and made a mistake. He loves you and would never do anything like that now that you are dating. Try not to think about it and enjoy being together. :)

Answer 7

now he wasnt wrong because your were only in a dating phase of your relationship and it doesnt mean exclusive dating.

Now, if you two were officially together before he went to Spain, then he is wrong.

Answer 8

i understand you're hurt, but it was experience he had on a vacation, once in a lifetime thing. he knew he was never going to see the individual again, and techinically you two weren't in a COMMITED relationship yet. cut him some slack on this one, forgive him, by letting this go it'll definately make you feel better and make your relationship easier.

Answer 9

no. they just kiss. you were just dating when it happen. he a good guy, at least he told you about it. You weren't betrayed, he could have kept that infor. to himself

Answer 10

no it just appears you expect more than he does...move on. Your trust level took a major hit.