Military Wife?

Question

What is it like to be one...? I am soon to be!

Answer 1

I can only speak from experience as a Marine wife. Unfortunately, I have to agree with the first person's response. Of all of our married friends from my husband's unit, we were one of the few couples to remain faithful (and who stayed married). It's not just the wives misbehaving, though. Plenty of soldiers cheat, too. If you have a good man, you shouldn't have to worry. However, I strongly suggest you live off base if you can. We avoided a lot of drama that way.

People will say it'll be hard if he goes away, but it depends on how long the deployment is. With my husband, I thought it would be hard at first but after a while I came to enjoy my alone time, talking with friends on the internet and not having to share the tv! Plus, he was always somewhere where he could call me every single day. This may not be the case with you, so make sure you have a hobby or something. And do not, under any circumstances, go and hang out with other male soldiers while your husband is gone, or anytime, for that matter.

The Marine Corps didn't pay much when my husband was in, so you may need to have a job. As far as I know, all branches of the service give you money for food, and housing if you choose to live off base. I remember a lot of get-togethers and barbeques for the families, and of course, there was the Marine Corps Ball, which was a great excuse to put on fancy dress and get your hair done!

You'll meet a lot of other wives and hopefully make some great friends along the way. Your fiance's unit will be like your third family.

Answer 2

Get ready to enter a different world and culture. I commend you for what you are about to do. I don't know what your fiance/husband is doing in the service, but if it is a combat or combat support job, then you best prepare yourself for periods of time away from your hubby. Seems these days that a tour in Iraq or Afganistan is guaranteed. So, prepare yourself for that deployment. Also, there are deployments/tours to other parts of the world as well. The best thing about being a true military wife is that you will be the foundation and pillar of your hubbies career. If he has a strong support base at home, where it is most important, then he will do well and you both will move through the military lifestyle smoothly. My advice to you is learn as much as you can about his branch of service and what he does. Then get with other spouses and learn from them. You will meet some snooty know-it-all spouses, but mostly you will meet some great people you can call friend. Seek out your hubbies unit family support group for more info. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

It's challenging and stressful, but it's very rewarding. There's a significant amount of pride and excitement in being a military spouse. I almost wish we weren't getting medboarded (medically discharged). We were en route to Mannheim, Germany.

When your husband's away at training or worse, on deployments, it's easy to get lonely and it's very stressful and difficult. However, the military has a great support system. Also, you can join websites like www.cinchouse.com (pronounced SINK-house) that are great for military wives and girlfriends.

Now, I wish I knew if you were marrying a current military man, or if your husband was joining up. Because then I could offer you better advice. My husband enlisted in the Army a while back. We're still in training.

It's not bad. You get to meet a ton of great, exciting people you would have never otherwise met, move places you never thought you'd move, see things you'd never otherwise see, and you'll certainly experience more than your fair share of burdens you never thought you'd have. It's an awesome thing, though. Best of luck to you and your husband.

Answer 4

In general, military life is rather like living around an extended family. Base personnel tend to look out for each other, they tend to socialize more than someone working in a typical civilian job. They help each other, party together, cry together, etc.

Depending on what your husband does, you obviously may expect some separations. On the other hand, you will have an excellent support system in other wives, medical care, assistance from his unit for doing "guy" chores around the house, mental health (if necessary), and other such resources. There is the potential for being able to live overseas, which my husband and I loved.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 5

Whats it like to be one, I have been one for almost a year now. It's not hard until your husband gets deployed. If you have kid's then you'll be ok, If you don't try getting a pet it helps. Try to meet as many other military wives as you can. I am a Army wife its pretty hard right now. My husband is over in Iraq for a second tour. So, I live alone until he gets home. Trust me you get use to in time.

Answer 6

When God Created the Military Wife

Author Unknown

The good Lord was creating a model for military spouses and was into his sixth day of over-time when an angel appeared. She said, “Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What’s wrong with the standard model?”

The Lord replied, “Have you seen the specs on this order? They need to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or 40 with an hour’s notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if they are pregnant and have the flu; and they must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years. And, oh yes, they must have six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head. “Six pairs of hands? No way.”

The Lord continued, “Don’t worry; we will make other military spouses to help them. And we will give them an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in their spouse’s achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is over-worked and tired, and be large enough to say, 'I understand', when they don’t, and say, 'I love you' , regardless.”

“Lord,” said the angel, touching his arm gently, “Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow.”

“I can’t stop now,” said the Lord. “I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave good-bye to her spouse from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it’s important that he leaves.”

The angel circled the model for military spouses, looked at it closely and sighed, “It looks fine, but it’s too soft.”

“They might look soft,” replied the Lord, “but they have the strength of a lion. You would not believe what they can endure.”

Finally, the angel bent over and ran a finger across the cheek of the Lord’s creation. “There’s a leak,” she announced. “Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model.”

The Lord appeared offended at the angel’s lack of confidence. “What you see is not a leak,” he said. “It’s a tear.”

“A tear? What is it there for?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “It’s for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride, and a dedication to all the values that they and their spouses hold dear.”

“You are a genius!” exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied, “I didn’t put it there.”

Answer 7

I won't lie.. It's hard. You must accept being second in many aspects. You will have to get used to lots of lonely days and nights. You will have to deal with the military beuracracy. You will have to accept that there will be times when your spouse cannot contact you. There will be times where you just want to tear your hair out and scream.

It's a very tough life, and not everyone is strong enough or independnat enough to handle it. You must be many people at once.

Answer 8

It can be really lonely at times so you have to make sure you have things to do and people you can turn to. You have to be independent and able to handle anything and everything on your own if need be. When you have kids you have to be able to be both mom and dad and be able to keep your composure when they ask you the tough questions (like what'll we do if dad doesn't come home?....trust me that's a hard one when you know the stuff that happened to another soldier that day) You have to be able to adjust your whole life to fit around their schedule without getting upset when plans have to change. It's not always an easy life (usually not actually!) And whatever you do don't believe the rumor mills or you will drive yourself nuts! There is always something going around about when the next deployment will be etc but don't even worry about it until he gets his orders.
Good luck and congrats on getting married!

Answer 9

certainly the better halves who're devoted to their husbands while they pass off for prolonged sessions of time are to be quite cautioned. The vulnerable ones will cheat on their husbands while they get lonely. God bless the two the militia husbands/better halves and their service for their us of a. and don't pay attention to the superliberal democrats - the militia is an fairly noble enterprise and those in contact are superb people. i'm very pleased to be sure that not all women persons are slutty, "person-friendly" females and that some nevertheless take relationships heavily severe.

Answer 10

I understand about deployements because my husband watched the kids when I was in korea for a year and in kuwait for four months and he was active duty, so when hes is on his fourth tour over there, I really don't complain. I am out of the Army now, there is no way we would see each other, if one of us did not get out. I am very involved in my church. My famioy is way on the other side of the continent, so its hard to stay close to them, if you can, I would suggest staying with them when your husband is deployed, if you are close to your family. As for the FRG (Family Support Group) sometimes they can be a gossip group and sometimes they can be a support group, it depends on the ladies running the group. I didn't really get close to the ladies deployed with my husband, they usually allow their husband to go to strip clubs, and I never agreed with this, so I stay away from the wives deployed with my husband. I would say to find a good church or go home when your husband is deployed. If your not religious, find some friends that don't party, because going out and drinking with the girls will get you into problems.