how do I tell my parents?

Question

hmmmm okay so theres a big chance that I may be pregnant I just am not sure how I am supposed to tell my parents we are Jehovah Witnnesses and sex before mirrage is strongly looked down on and I don't know how to tell my parents that I am cause remember me sayeing that is also me saying that I have been sneaking around her back, I AM having sex, and I do have a boyfriend and I am pregnant so that one confession admitts to alot of other things what should I do or say

Answer 1

While the bible clearly forbids extra-marital sex, it also recognizes that humans are imperfect. Similarly, Jehovah's Witnesses greatly value their reputation for virtue and chastity, but recognize that adherents (especially young people) make mistakes.

It seems best to begin this conversation with one's Christian parents by acknowledging all their efforts at instilling godly principles, and then apologize for having been disobedient to them and to God. Then tell them you believe that you are pregnant.

If they are parents themselves, they will understand the deeds that were done to accomplish pregnancy and are unlikely to want many details. Their concern will likely be to help you in practical ways, and to help you to regain your spiritual footing and get right with God.

Local elders in the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses can help the unwed mother and her family in this regard.

Answer 2

The truth. It might be easier said than done, but it was your decision and your decision was to go against your parent's (and your own?) beliefs. If you still live with them, they are your caretakers and those who care about you the most. Even though the consequences might be harsh, it is better to let them know now before they find out later some other way. Knowing that you are open to communicate with them will make things easier in the long run. Of course their will be many other questions along the way (the boyfriend, taking care of the baby, etc.) that will come up, and haveing your parents already aware about the situation and are will be there to support you should make it an a less stressful road that you'll have to go down. I would think you'd want what is best for your child and support from your family is something that would greatly benefit you all.
Even though I belief in sex until after marriage as well, I wish you the best in your pregnancy.

Answer 3

I am assuming that you are pretty young, seeing that you are so worried about your parents and all. I know how you feel. I got preggy when I was just 19. I wasn't married at the time, and like yours, my family is very religious. It took me several weeks before I got up the courage to tell my parents. And you know what? They were so supportive! There was a little shock and some concern about my future (college, broken dreams, financial security), but they really helped me a lot. Your parents may be disappointed at first and hurt, but no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, but thru these mistakes, God can bring really great joy. I love my son, and sometimes I think about the place I was in 2 yrs ago, and I'm so grateful. I think that you should tell your family the news as soon as its confirmed. Whether or not they turn out to be supportive of you is their choice, but the sooner you tell them, the better. No matter what, you will get thru this and can make a great life for you and your baby. Here are some websites that might help:

http://www.singlemom.com/

http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/topics/0,,4rpv,00.html

This page talks about how to break the news to parents:
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/teenage_breakingthenews.html

Goodluck with your pregnancy! I really hope some of this helps!

Answer 4

First you obviously feel bad about what you did if you still feel you are a Witness. You need the support of someone else. You need to be upfront with them. If you are worried about going to them first, maybe you should find a sister in the Hall to come with you to talk to your parents. You need to decide if knowing whether or not your are pregnant will determine if you talk to your parents. If you feel that finding out you are not pregnant will stop you from telling, don't get the test till you tell. Know this they will react. Not sure how, as every person is different, but it is VERY painful when a child does something wrong. Part of being a parent. PLEASE do not try to cover or lie more. It will only do more damage BELIEVE MEEEEE. You also need to prepare the BF. If you are a minor then your parents have some say as to what/who you do. I feel for your situation. While your parents will start backtracking and figuring out that, if you are pregnant, then you had sex, there is no need for the intimate details. Please also do not tell someone you are pregnant then decide to keep it secret as this adds a burden. It is never fun to know something you feel you have to tell someone but still feel it is wrong to break a confidence.

Answer 5

Oh, boy. The whole Jehovah's Witness thing is going to make this extra difficult, isn't it? Is there a chance you could be excommunicated for this? I'm not borrowing trouble, but I know that can make things pretty darn sticky.

You need to tell your parents. There's no way out of that. Just be honest and open with them.

If things with church get ugly (and I expect that they will) you may need to find a church support that isn't JW. You're going to need a lot of help to get through this pregnancy, and a supportive church is invaluable. See if there are any Christian crisis pregnancy centers in your area. They can help you weigh your options.

Do the right thing. You know in your heart what that is.

Answer 6

I'm not going to preach to you or tell you how wrong you were because the damage is already done.

I too was a young mother (20 years ago) and as a mother myself, my best advise to you is to tell your parents ASAP. They're going to find out sooner than later and it's better if they find out sooner. Although it might be tough news to receive for your parents, I'm sure they love you and still want what's best for you. This is not a time to hide anything. You need to come clean about everything. Your parents have all the right in the world to be upset and disappointed, but like I said, what's done is done and now you have to make the best of it. Don't delay in telling them. Let them also see how sorry you are. Don't point fingers or try to justify your actions. They might be upset for a little while, but I'm sure they'll get over it in time. This is your time to plea for their mercy and understanding. Good lucky sweetie.

Answer 7

Take a pregnancy test. If you are..... you need to tell them. It would hold more weight with your parents if your boyfriend was there with you. At least they would know he is willing to be there for you.

Usually when u arent honest it comes back to bite you in the as s...... sooooo Be honest about everything so that you dont have to keep lying. You didnt say how old you are.... That information is important.

Answer 8

make sure that you are pregnant first, then you will have to sit them down and tell them. it might not be easy for them to hear and it certainly will not be easy for you to tell them, but it is the most mature thing that you can do. if you are grown up enough to have sex, then you will have to be grown up enough to present your parents with your pregnancy...besides..you will need this maturity when being a parent. I would not go in to details about sneaking around and the boyfriend..just tell them that you are pregnant, I am sure they will be able to figure out the rest on their own..don't be surprised if they freak out, just try to remain calm and strong and if they have other questions about the "how" them give them a calm and truthful answer, your maturity at handling the situation will help them even though it might not seem like it at the time..and if you are not pregnant..then quit engaging in such risky behavior. good luck

Answer 9

Wait until you confirm your are indeed pregnant.

If you are pregnant, you need to suck it up and start acting like an adult woman and tell your parents in a direct NO drama manner

Do not take the boyfriend. There is a great risk of your father taking out his anger and frustration on him. There will be enough drama and emotion, don't add fuel to the fire.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Prepare yourself, you know your parents will be heart broken by the choices you have made. However, show them the respect they deserve by telling them the truth.
The following article provides some encouragement:
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/10/8/article_03.htm
It is going to take courage to tell them, but that is the grown up thing to do.