Mother in law question?

Question

Here is my situation. My mother in law will go out of her way, (knowing quite well how my husband and I feel) to always says our daughter looks like her daugher and also our son looks like others. The only similarity my sis in law has with my daughter is the blonde hair. (which is dyed). We have been told our kids look like both of us by strangers and friends and in fact they do. My mother in law intentionally does this because she doesn't seem to want our children to have anything comparative to me. Just wonder how others would handle this.

Answer 1

I am going through the same thing.. The best advice that i can give it just ignore or make similar comments about her.. she always says that my son looks like my brother in law and my 2 daughters look like her other daughter. so, i told her at least they have the good looks from my husband. another comment that i make is when she says they look like someone else. i say no they look like , then i say my childrens.names. that seemed to have worked . its been 2 years since she compares my children to hers. good luck..

Answer 2

Sounds like she is questioning your faitfulness to her son. She may suspect you have cheated on him or just be over protective of her little boy. Either way if your husband knows about this he should put an end to it right away! She can say what ever she wants anywhere else but in your house he should demand that she treat you with respect and if that means holding her tongue and resisting her urges to make off color comments about you than that is what he should expect and demand from her.
Personally I don't have this problem now but did have it with a previous wife and even though my mother turned out to be partially right about her questionable character at the time it was going down I actually told my mother that she couldn't come in my house and treat my wife differently than everyone else. I told her to leave and not come back untill she could treat the mother of her grandchildren with some respect. She didn't like it at first but she eventually came around and learned to hold her tongue. That marriage did end up in trouble for me over my ex's self indulgent attitude but those were my problems and not for any one else to worry about.

Answer 3

Let her believe so and enjoy what is happening. When you are with friends who tell you that your children look like you and your husband (choose the time your mother in law will be present) and disagree with them and say that "your op pinion is that they look like your in law's family". Watch you mother in law's reaction, you will enjoy it.
Under no circumstances you should make any fuss or cause any trouble to your husband. This is not a reason to let silly things to get between the two of you.

Answer 4

Ask your husband to talk to his mother about how it makes you feel. If she stops, then maybe she really doesn't realize how it makes you feel and thinks that it's funny or that you don't mind at all. If she still doesn't stop, don't bring your children to visit her too often. Grandmothers like that might try to influence your children against you when they don't know any better. Don't feel guilty if you actually decide not to let your children near her too often or alone, just think about your children, do you want them to grow up with that kind of personality or behaviour?

Answer 5

Unless your children are invisible, everyone can see the resemblences whatever they are. So why aren't you flattered that she would WANT them to look like her own offspring? It could be a compliment, if you let it. And if you just let it pass without reacting, everyone can make their own assumptions. I think peoples kids always look like their siblings...in fact, I think its a little joke that God plays on us...wait til they start to have a sister-in-laws mannerisms or a brothers bad habits...its rather funny. My MIL won't have anything to do with my kids...thats someone who needs to grow up....not someone who brags to the fam/friends in a way you dont get.

Answer 6

well simple thing to do is ... next time she is around drag out baby photos from you and husband and your kids ... and say look what i have found ... and then point out similarities... and then just smile ... if she then gets smart ... just ask her what her freaking problem is ... politely she may not be aware she is doing this and that she is hitting a sore spot ...

you can always say ... opinions are like assholes everyone has one ... when she lashes out ... try settling it in peace ...dont need a whole family feud ...

Answer 7

just blow it off. this is not a big deal, and it's not worth stirring the pot over. if you say anything it's going to cause problems. so the next time she says something like that, just reply with a hum. don't give her any real big reply, just a sort of acknowledge that she has said something. if it really bothers you, speak with your husband, and have him speak to her. by all means don't you even be in the same room when he does this.

Answer 8

Just let it go... Something that trivial isn't worth fighting over. If her intention is to dis you by saying things like that, solving this one symptom will not solve the larger problem of her lack of respect for you. You can't "force" someone to respect you, or use rational argument... Don't lower yourself to her level by letting it get to you.

Answer 9

i have dealt with this in the past myself with my mother in law, you need to have a talk with her and tell her how you feel. actually you and your husband both need to have a talk with her, if this doesn't work do what i do just let it go in one ear and out the other.

Answer 10

Time to get out the baby pictures. Just bring out a BIG pile of yours, and your husband's (if you have them, but yours would be better) baby pics and spread them all over the place and bore her to DEATH with "Oh, look at THIS one"..."see THIS one"...."aww, look at me here, I remember that day"......that ought to do it.