Me and my boyfriend (now Fiance) got engaged earlier this week, planning to have wedding later this year/early next of possible and were waiting to see my family at the weekend to announce this in person.
Yesterday, by coincidence, my brother also proposed to his gf and announced it to everyone straight away by telephone and said they are hoping to plan it for late next year.
Now I am going to feel a little silly announcing our engagement and saying we did it earlier in the week, it sounds like I'm saying "we did it first, ner ner", also we wanted ours this year/early next year and theirs would be late next year, and I don't want people to think we are getting ours in first like it's a competition.
I know most people will say, do what you want and don't worry what other people will think but this still feels quite an awkward situation.
But is there a nice way I can announce it without sounding competitive? (Which I am not being, I just don't want to steal their limelight)
2007-02-22 23:55:13 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Congratulations
Just say to everyone over the weekend that you and your boyfriend have decided to get married and that you will be getting married by the end of the year or around the first of the year, There is no way of saying any better than this, Just make sure you tell your brother and his girlfriend that you are not trying to be competitive that you had actually gotten engaged on whatever day it was and tell him that you were planning to tell everyone in person over the weekend.
Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2007-02-23 00:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you say it was sheer coincidence. I honestly don't think any one will think you are in competition. Does your brother know you are engaged? Would be nice if he said first something like "It's been a busy week for this family as there is other good news" and then let your Fiance make your announcement.Also think it is better your dates are a good bit apart for the wedding as you will be doing things at different times etc and if the competition bit does bother you at least you can't be accused of copying anything you have at your wedding. Unless the families are very well off they too will be pleased of the breathing space in between for paying out. Then for your parents a son and daughter getting married are two different experiences and two different roles they are playing so actually lovely for them. One little bit of advice if you don't mind me saying is don't even mention and explain yourself about getting engaged more or less the same time just say "What a conicidence!" in a really happy way as attempting to explain as you have to us to some people would make it sound as if was being competitive. If you don't put the idea in to their heads I am sure people won't even think about it. Best wishes to you and your brother.
2007-02-23 00:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make a big fuss over it...tell your brother and his fiance first and then your parents and other immediate family. They will spread the word from there. Double weddings can be a really good thing if both couples have their hearts into it and want a lot of the same things. Ask your brother to set a more concrete wedding date so you won't be stepping on each other's toes. A month appart would be sufficient if you aren't having a double wedding...you could also have a wedding weekend...one wedding Friday night and the other on Saturday afternoon with a breakfast in between for guests. Be sure to tell your brother and his fiance how happy you are for them.
2007-02-23 02:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!
I fully understand how awkward you must feel. It doesn't matter that your brother has told everyone of his plans to marry.
Just stick to your plans and tell your families at the weekend as planned.
Don't make excuses about you being first to decide to get married or that you wedding will be before your brothers, you have to explain nothing to no one.
Just say you are both in love and that you intend to get married. Anyone with a heart would understand that and not expect you to make excuses.YOUR IN LOVE IT HAPPENS.
Just don't spring the news on your brother take the advice of other and tell your brother first but yet again don't make excuses you have every right to get married just as your brother has.
As for your brothers fiance why not ask her if she would like to help you with your wedding plans and you could help her with hers.
God knows it's a task in itself and doing it alone is no fun you are going to need all the help you can get.
All the best,
Andrew D
2007-02-23 00:17:10 · answer #4 · answered by BEANS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if its not competitive it won't sound competitive....really.
What would you be doing if he didn't get engaged? If its cards and save the date magnets, then by all means get to kinkos or where-ever. I think I'd make a special point of reiterating how happy you are for your brother and his intended when you speak to them...and how exciting its going to be for your family....not sure how your parents are going to survive!! lol and leave it be.... a few weeks from now you might want to have a sit down with the other bride to talk about dates and not getting in the way of ea other's parade...but if you get along.... OMG you will have fun!!! my daughter and her friend are shopping together and trying on everything from tiaras and shoes to getting makeovers together.... I would suggest you make final plans and $$ decisions separately.....but celebrate each other...this can be a lot of fun.... oh...and if she is not interested in discussing dates or going to a bridal show together....all the better.... think of it as a win-win and you'll be just fine. Congrats to all of YOU!!
2007-02-23 00:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you obviously want to tell them that you got engaged first, otherwise this wouldn't be an issue (think about it you know it's true). So just tell them you got engaged and they'll more than likely ask when. If they don't then just don't mention it. If they don't ask but you still say "yeah we got engaged last week actually" it will sound like you're competing with your brother which is kinda petty at your age. This is a lesson in humility.
2007-02-23 00:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by ThisAin'tASceneIt'sAnArm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that strikes me is DOUBLE WEDDING!!
Think about it; sharing the costs between two couples; having one big bash for all your families; is it feasible?
As for telling your family..well, just bite the bullet and do it. Ring them. Tell them the truth; that you and your fiance got engaged but were keeping it under wraps until you were all together. Could you ring them in advance of the announcement maybe?
Let me put it in perspective;
Six years ago, my son breezed in, in the middle of a family dinner, and said, I've something to tell you; Michelle(his girlfriend) is pregnant, ok? I'm goin out now, see ya!
and that was it.
The next day, as I was hanging out washing, my daughter followed me out to the garden and said those dread words..
"mam, I've something to tell you...."
Yes, SHE was pregnant too. Both babies due the same week.
Double crisis. Double chaos.
My son(the idiot) felt his sister had done it deliberately to upstage him!
It has worked out fine; I have two beautiful grandchildren, a boy and a girl, the same age, who get on famously.
My son and daughter have been great support to each other.
Think about the double wedding..
2007-02-23 00:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your limelight too.... Just announce it as you had previously planned, that you are getting married. When you are asked for the details, you know , how did he propose and stuff, casually slip in a time frame reference. I think you should have told your Bro when he called you about his and asked him not to say anything b/c you wanted to announce it on the weekend. Anyway , don't waste time worrying about something that really is trivial, you have a wedding to plan after all...Congrats
2007-02-23 00:05:58 · answer #8 · answered by EGOman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bride ought to have a date in the back of the shed with Grandma and a hickory swap...y'comprehend what I recommend? in simple terms through fact Mizz bridezilla is getting married it does no longer recommend absolutely everyone else places their inner maximum existence on carry for her....after all who died and left her the BOSS of anybody? as long as in simple terms very on the spot relatives comprehend AND the formal assertion waits till after the marriage, the bride has no longer something to grumble approximately. Your youngest son did no longer something incorrect and additionally you tell him and his fiancee that....and tell Grandma to cut back a intense-high quality one for the Naughty Bridezilla. BTW i could be so PO'd at Mizz Bridezilla that i might verify she replaced into the final ONE instructed in way forward for any happy activities relating to absolutely everyone yet herself.....and not at as quickly as the two so whilst your youthful son & fiancee gadgets the marriage date, are awaiting their first, etc. enable her discover out via a third social gathering, the Witch....
2016-10-16 07:43:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do as you plan wait until the week end and tell them, but be honest with them. Your brother should know that you are not competing with him. and I am pretty sure he will be happy. Maybe you and your brother can have a double wedding. congratulations on your engagement.
2007-02-23 00:03:18 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋