We announced to family our plans to wed around the year 2010. Suddenly, my partners sister had also got engaged, and made plans for a wedding abroad, the following year after. Within a short period of time, the sister booked.
My partner did not want to miss his sisters wedding, so we agreed to go, using our wedding savings - we booked. Suddenly, the sister cancelled, leaving us with a holiday to fly to. We couldnt cancel as we paid alot of money and we would lose that. So we went on a holiday that we didnt want to go to.
After coming back, we continued saving and talked with families about our wedding plans, again during this time, the sister had put her wedding back on. And told family her wedding was booked and all paid for.
With only little money left, we didnt really want to spend the last of our wedding savings, but my partner wants to go, we was thinking about getting married ourselves out there. However, it feels we are stealing her lime-light.
What do we do?
2007-02-22 23:36:01 · 18 answers · asked by weddingplans2010 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
In all probability I don't imagine your sister in law cancelled her wedding purposely first time? If she did she must have lost a lot too and if it was a good while before you would only have lost deposits and no need to go the holiday? As it stands it really seems to be your partner that is causing the problem as I am sure nobody who is being married abroad, unless willing to pay for their guests really would be offended if they thought getting there too expensive, more so as the person being married would know what happened previously. Now you say your sister in law suddenly got engaged and made plans for a wedding abroad the following year, so even if you had this holiday 2006 that must have been 2005 and you couldn't seriously think that should matter to your wedding plans? If my daughter told me she was getting married in 5 years times or more as you seem to have done I really wouldn't have gave it much thought being so long away. In fact why would anyone announce they were getting married that far ahead? Sorry but I think it is you that are mixed up and have to decide what you want to do. If you have enough money to get married out there it's up to you but if your partner is a worried about stealing the show with the money why not just have a wedding wherever of your choice whenever, why wait until AROUND 2010? Are you sure your partner really wants to get married? I really don't mean to be hurtful but I honestly don't think many people would take a couple seriously that talks in 2005 'AROUND 2010' getting married. Why announce it at all when it is so far away? I do hope all works out well for you whatever you decide.
2007-02-23 00:51:06 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most obvious comment is ... why do you want to wait until 2010? You could get married much sooner, you won't steal the sister's limelight then; but you will get yours in first. A wedding need not cost a fortune. If you can't afford to go the sister's wedding, tough luck. She should not expect people to travel abroad for a wedding. If people choose to marry abroad, it is generally because they either have very rich friends and relatives, or they deliberately want to keep the occasion as small as possible. They shd be more considerate and have the wedding at home. Good luck!
2007-02-23 07:46:01 · answer #2 · answered by VWat22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has made it so that you get a crap wedding and she gets a great one with everyone saying how wonderful it is! I really feel like you need to do what suits you and not her, she seems immature and selfish! I would of got married on the first holiday you went on but i wouldnt do it on this one!
I would apologise for not being able to go and say you simply dont have the money what with all your money being needed for your wedding. Explain that you used all your savings for her last wedding which got cancelled! How do you know she isnt going to cancel again???
Tell your partner how you feel and tell him you can watch the video when she gets back!!!
Goodluck
2007-02-23 14:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by kirsty m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could give you some better advice but all i can say is compromise.
If stealing her lime-light is all that is stopping you getting married out there, then go out there and get married, maybe a few days after her wedding.
I had a marriage dilemma of my own. My nephew was to marry in April but the wedding got cancelled. I had also found someone to marry, so my sister and her family recommended me to take up the April dates as everyone was prepared for a wedding to take place.
A month or so later, after we booked our complete event (venue, catering, beautician, for her of course, etc.) the wedding was back on.
After lenghty discussions with the family of my nephew's wife to be, they still booked the same dates and time for their wedding, causing major family arguments.
Compromise was made by us, as we have now moved our wedding to the next day, so the families can attend.
2007-02-23 08:00:39 · answer #4 · answered by zedkay 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think she was really mean by doing what she did and if i were you i would anounce my wedding to be like just a week before hers and use the trip to her wedding as my honeymoon.that way you dont have to save up AGAIN for your wedding and trips and all that.and you need the any extra money thereafter to bring up your family.she was inconsiderate to you guys so you shouldnt do her any favor.planning a wedding b4 hers shouldnt make you feel guilty at all!in any case, she started it!am getting married myself and we've been having hitches here and there that are being brought up by our families but me and my spouse have talked and listened to each other and agreed and have stayed put on our decisions.of course many pple are not happy but its our wedding and its our life!and thats how you should live yours!why do her a favor by going to hers while she dint do you a favor while cancelling the first time???????
2007-02-23 08:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by sm1113 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmm - sounds more like she is stealing your limelight. I suggest you stop telling people about your wedding plans; go to her wedding and then start saving again. Book your wedding somewhere totally different and very romantic but surprise everyone in a few months time as to where it is. I suggest Italy.
2007-02-23 07:50:13 · answer #6 · answered by D B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree to dual weddings. It is your time in the sun!
Compromise. Tell her you spent, went, and took vacation for her once already. If she won't pay for the next trip for you and your soon-to-be, have her adjust her plans for family. After all, it was her indecision that set you guys back. That's reasonable, ... you've already made the effort once. Let her make the effort now.
If she won't/can't, you're either not important enough to her, or she'll make it up to you in some other way. Dont' let her steal your lime-light.
2007-02-23 08:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by George 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How awkward - I'm guessing you are going to have to pay a lot to get to her wedding? Are you paying everything for your wedding or are families assisting you? Why don't you talk to his parents as it's their daughter who is causing you a few budgetary problems (to put it politely). If you don't want the big white wedding get yours small and simple - small and simple can still be WONDERFUL. A wedding is what you make of it - it's the two of you getting married... You could have your wedding before hers and use her wedding trip as your honeymoon too...
2007-02-23 07:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, quit playing head games with sisters. Plan your wedding as you want it to be and just do it. Think about a double wedding, might be a lot of fun.
2007-02-23 07:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, well you already spent half your money that you were saving because she booked the first and then cancelled. and now its on again. and your saving again. I would talk to his sister and maybe she will agree to a double wedding, besides why wait and you can have 2 in place of 1. good luck.
2007-02-23 07:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋