what's the best revenge for abusive parents?

Question

they abuse you during your childhood (emotionally and physically), they continue to verbally abuse you after you reach adulthood, how do you repay them?

Answer 1

The best revenge is to be the best human being you can be in spite of their abuse. This probably means you need to have some kind of therapy. Also, you will find that distancing yourself from them is very helpful. You can also learn how to set boundaries when you have to be around them. It's like training a dog. You let them know what behaviors are unacceptable, and what the consequences are if they engage in those behaviors. Very simple and very effective. Then you just stay out of the drama.

I did this. It worked great.

Answer 2

since you didn't really give details, it's hard to know whether you were actually abused or simply just a difficult child they were trying to control. Sorry, this might sound really harsh but your question reflects a lot of childish immaturity.
Either way, my advice would be for you to take some responsibility for your actions (abuse after adulthood... why?) and maybe do some serious soul searching. Find some peace within yourself, learn to forgive and write them a letter detailing exactly how you feel and why. It could be they aren't aware how their actions have affected you.
Try to work towards a peaceful resolution, carrying negative feelings will only harm you further.
Let go of your pain, seek some counselling so you can deal with your feelings. It's ok to feel pain, but better to let go of it. Then get on with your life. Only you are responsible about how your life will turn out, as you are now an adult who can make his own decisions.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Love them, tell them how you felt about what they did, what they are doing, and advise them that they will no longer do this to you. You don't have to run away miles from where you know as home, but you do have to make peace. I resented my mother for something similar, but with time made peace. I cried as I told her what she did and how it affected me. After months of pain and heart ache, we finally started talking again. Things are better now, she watches what she says, and she tries to make up for the past. Now let's not assume that all parents will take it to this effect. Some people are just the way they are and will never change. Do what I am telling you and see what happens. Because later you may have found that you left your problems, but never really knew if they were willing to change. At this point, you yourself will find an inner peace knowing in your heart that YOU TRIED! Best of luck...

Answer 4

1.By getting it off my chest, and coming to peace that I can not change the past. I know that I can make a difference in the future. It was done to you, you can not change that but you can go on with your life without "revenge". Know that it wasn't your fault! It is a terrible thing to have happen. Do you want to waste the rest of your life dwelling on your childhood? It really isn't worth it. Life is too short! Come to peace within yourself! Stop letting it eat you up inside cause it will destroy you as a person.

Answer 5

There is no revenge, You need to come to peace within yourself. I too was abused physically and emotional, I had children and I refuse for them to go threw what I went threw. By getting "revenge" what are you really showing today's children? I did at one point in my life confront them, I told them they ruined my life, I got loud said alot more but I'd be on here forever,,, It did make me feel better inside. They did not talk to me for 8 years. But by getting it off my chest, and coming to peace that I can not change the past. I know that I can make a difference in the future. It was done to you, you can not change that but you can go on with your life without "revenge". Know that it wasn't your fault! It is a terrible thing to have happen. Do you want to waste the rest of your life dwelling on your childhood? It really isn't worth it. Life is too short! Come to peace within yourself! Stop letting it eat you up inside cause it will destroy you as a person. Good Luck! God Bless

Answer 6

The best thing you can do for everyone involved is use what happened to you as a life lesson. You can break the cycle of abuse and have a peaceful, joyful life. You are not expected to think they were good parents. You know they hurt you but you can be an overcomer. You have learned how NOT to live; how not to treat others. You do have to honor your parents and you can best do that by using what you learned from them to do better, to be better. And you do not have to accept verbal abuse from them now. You can put distance between you and your parents if necessary. And you can tell them (calmly) that when they can talk respectfully to you, you would like to be in their lives.

Answer 7

I too was raised by abusive parents, not so much physically although I got smacked once in a while but they mentally abused me. They neglected me because they were all caught up in their own stuff. My grandmother raised me and I thank her everyday for it. She died 15 years ago and I still dream of her. My parents are still around but much older now. I would not allow them to abuse me, I am not that scared little girl anymore.

You aren't that scared child anymore, you are now an adult with the ability to make whatever the right choices you feel best with. My parents have changed and I have chosen to forgive them, not forget what they did or didn't do, just to forgive. I do it for me, so I can be healthy and let go of the ugliness of the past. You can't change what happened to you only what will happen in the future.

If they continue to abuse you then "let go and let God" as they say. Just because they are your parents doesn't give them the right to disrespect you. You wouldn't take it from a stranger and you certainly shouldn't take it from people who are suppose to love and protect you which they obviously failed to do. You can only control you and your future. Life is a journey and we either bring people along for the ride or leave them by the wayside because they are holding us down from being who we need to be.

You need to stand up, and tell your parents in no uncertain terms that you will no longer be a victim, only children, animals and peole who can't protect themsevles are victims. Everyone else who takes abuse are volunteers. They will treat you with the respect you deserve as an adult and for the love of God, as their precious child or they won't treat you at all. If they continue you need to distance yourself for your own sake.

You deserve to be happy and for your family to be behind you, to know that when the world turns cold, ugly and hateful, that you have the protection of your family to envelope you and to protect you and to give you a safe place to fall. To stand for you when you feel you can't.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Silence. Then when you become successful, you leave them high and dry. Don't help them out in any way, just have a happy life with your new family. And don't let them know about their grandchildren until they're on their death bed.

Does that sound like revenge to you? Sounds pretty evil to me.

Answer 9

I dont like the word revenge ..it will eat you up inside. But in this case, perhaps the best revenge is to ignore her. Move again, if its possible & take every care to make sure she doesnt know where you have moved to. If she wants to manipulate you & still have some sort of hold over you take away her ability to do that. Having this feeling of revenge on her is still letting her into your life & controlling it in some way.

Answer 10

You don't you just move to a different state and put alot of miles in between you and get a private phone number and stop talking to them plain and simple if they were that abusive to you and continuing to still be why would you even want to be around them i wouldn't be if it were me.