I am one of 3 sisters, all adults with children. We have lost our mother recently. This has prompted the discussion around heritage. One of my sisters has led a difficult life (divorced with two young children, several years unemployed etc), while also needing some "external status symbols" (sports car, designer clothes etc). My father leads a very cheap life, but also owns quite a lot, having had a good career. He spends money to support causes in underdeveloped countries. He has helped my sister financially when she struggled, paid her debts back etc, telling her that this support would be deducted from her heritage to come. She is now adamant that it is our father's responsility to help her and the money was "due" to her and she owns nothing back from her heritage. What is your gut reaction? Is she right?
2007-02-22 22:00:22 · 3 answers · asked by Claire 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First, I am sorry for your loss.
You are all wrong. Your father for inabling her bad spending behaviors in the past. Her for feeling that the world owes her something, and you for dwelling on the financial side of it all. As far as I am concerned, your mother and father's estate belongs to both of them, nothing should be devided until your father has passed as well -- hopefully in many years. Family is so important, and we lose sight of that so quickly when money is driving a wedge between us. Go to your sister, hug her neck and tell her that you love her, and that if all she can see is $$$ signs, then so be it, but your mother's (& father's) life was about so much more than just the legacy that they would leave you.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss
2007-02-22 22:07:46 · answer #1 · answered by picture . . . perfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents, in my opinion, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT OWE ANYTHING to they're Children after grown.
Once an Adult, we are responsible for our own Destiny (no matter how many ups and down). Now, that Dad has helped in need, that's his discretion to do so and he did because he cared to. So, it doesn't matter what she thinks it should be after Dad's gone, IT WILL BE HOWEVER HE'S INSTRUCTIONS LEFT BEHIND, DIRECT!
Go on with you're Life,neither you, or any one else has the controll switch exept DAD.
2007-02-23 06:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by SwissAK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter what your sis is saying because it's your dad that holds the purse strings, right?
2007-02-23 06:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋